Discord's Rewrite
by AkumaKami64
Summary: Thanks to Starlight's spell, Discord sends his past self a present: his future memories. This timeline will witness Discord aiding the young alicorns build Equestria. Still, the ponies will have to learn to live with a bit more Chaos in their lives. Oh well, builds character. (Mentally) Time Traveled, flirting, wise Discord. Possible Harem/Marem.
1. Spoiler Alert! A Second First Impression

Rewriting the Script

I don't own MLP

Summary: Thanks to Starlight's spell, Discord sends his past self a present: his future memories. This timeline will witness Discord aiding the young alicorns build Equestria. Still, the ponies will have to learn to live with a bit more Chaos in their lives. Oh well, builds character. (Mentally) Time Traveled, flirting, wise Discord. Possible Harem/Marem.

Regular speak

 _Thoughts and Flashbacks_

 **Demonic or Animalistic speak**

 _ **Demonic or Animalistic Thoughts**_

Beta: Dragon_Wizard91

Discord hummed to himself as he ate a fistful of popcorn, reclining in a chair of cotton candy as he watched the battle between Twilight Sparkle and Starlight Glimmer, the Alicorn flinging herself back and forth through time and alternate presents. He even popped in to chase Celestia and Luna, the Clowns, while riding a unicycle. Quite fun.

If one was wondering how he was watching such a thing, the answer was simple. He was watching it from his newly-made mansion in the Fourth Dimension- very similar to the Astral Planes in looks, only spinny-er. The mansion was a rather plain thing at the moment, having made it on a whim just before this little special. He'd decorate it later…or get rid of it.

The fight really was quite a show, up until Starlight went into a sob story about she lost her first friend due to his cutie mark. He was more sympathetic these days, but that didn't even tickle at a heartstring. He shrugged, watching it play out as Starlight threatened to rip the spell up, before she ultimately accepted Twilight's offer of making new friends and the two returned to their true timeline.

"About time, pun intended," He said, tossing his bag of popcorn over his shoulders and into a time-stream, causing it to randomly reappear to several ponies throughout history who wanted a bag of popcorn for whatever interesting event they were watching.

Paying no mind to the Omni-Temporal-Popcorn, he stood from his chair and used his lion claw to rip a hole in time, literally. A bit cliché, but no one would know. _*wink*_ Holding out his talons, he grabbed an incoming object, the tear healing behind it. He smirked as he held the spell in his grasp.

Time Travel was one of the few things he had not mastered. He could observe a time-based battle and he could peer into the past quite easily, but moving his existence one way or another along the river of time was not as easy as turning reality on its head.

Why, he had no clue.

"Ohhh, you are soooo lucky, Celestia. If I had gotten this spell before Tirek betrayed me, I would have been tempted to undo your victories against me," He said with a chuckle, smiling softly, "Then again, you were already warming up to me before that. You always said you wondered what it would have been like if we hadn't been enemies," He mused as he calmly brought his tail up to his head, put the fluffy end in his ear and promptly pulled his brain out.

Not at all bothered by the loss of his cranial organ, which was pure white as it was an albino brain, Discord summoned up a triangular flask. Holding the organ with both hands, he squeezed and twisted it like a dishrag, making green goo ooze out of it and fill the container. With that done, Discord tossed his brain into his mouth and swallowed it whole before putting a cork in the flask.

"This should be interesting," Discord decided as he snapped his claws, the spell page glowing briefly before a portal in the time-space continuum howled open. He grinned and wished on the vial for a moment before throwing it into the portal, "Have fun, other me," He said simply before turning away, the portal closing behind him. He had a few princesses to mess with.

 **Negative 1200+ Years Later**

Discord the Draconequus grinned wicked on his horned throne. The landscape around him was as bizarre as his own form: Flying pigs, sky fish, purple-black checkerboard ground, floating islands, trees of all the wrong colors, birds digging tunnels and burping up seeds that rapidly grew into trees of animated fruits, Timberwolves walking upside down in mid-air and so much more. Anything and everything he desired.

And, more interestingly, a large group of ponies had recently moved into his favorite playground. He hadn't had playmates in a while- he wondered how long until they ran off. Shame they vaporized the Windigos, even if they were little leaches, feeding on his disharmony. Unless he was wrong, he smelt two immortals as well and they were coming his way. Well, this would be fu-

He blinked, very much in shock, as something hit him in the back of the head, bouncing off him. He effortlessly caught it with his talons, but looked behind him in confusion to find no one there. Nothing should be feasibly able to sneak up on him. Any being that could escape his immediate senses would not be able to stop him from detecting they were nearby, even for a second.

He looked curiously to the flask of green liquid, wondering what it was and why it assaulted his skull. If he could, he'd ask it.

And in fact, he did, "Who sent you?" He asked suspiciously.

"You did, fool!" The mouthy flask answered in a deep baritone, "And let me tell you, you don't get any prettier in a thousand years!"

"Why thank you, I do like to- wait, what?" Discord started off boastfully before looking surprised, "A thousand years? Timetravel? How'd I pull that off?" He asked curiously.

"Why don't you just drink me and find out. Preferably soon, so I don't have to look at your ugly mug much longer," The flask retorted grumpily.

Discord scowled as he examined the mouthy container. He could indeed feel his own chaos magic mingled in with cosmic residue from the fourth dimension…and memory magic. Why would he be sending himself spoilers?

"Hey, hey, easy now!" The flask protested as the Chaos Lord undid the cork and gulped down the liquid memories like a tall glass of hard cider.

The flask, now unanimated, fell from his grasp, shattering into shards of glass. Discord the Draconequus stood there with wide eyes for a long moment or two, well over a thousand years of knowledge and memories rammed into his head. Albeit, most of it was encased in stone, but that didn't detract from the fact that he had been self-aware the entire time. That wasn't why he was stunned though.

 _ **He had made friends.**_

Deep in the yet-to-be-named-Everfree, a certain tree sung happily as it sensed a certain immortal's change of heart.

The now non-disharmonious creature of chaos smiled as he lowered his gaze and smiled, looking out into the distance, "Well, I best get ready. Not often even I get to redo first impressions!" He cheered, snapping his tail as the area was enveloped in a flash of light.

 **Negative Thirty Minutes Ago**

Celestia and Luna were much different than their potential-future selves. A pony from that version of Equestria might scarcely recognize them. Luna was merely tall for a pony, still with a cyan mane that was short and unkempt. Celestia was on the giant size already but her wings were a bit smaller, which caused her occasional growing pains. Her pink mane was like the rosy tips of dawn, or like a cotton candy cloud as Discord once would have and still might, opined in the future. Even more striking would be the lack of their regalia and their lack of Cutie Marks.

"Celly, are the pony tribes sure settling here is a good idea?" Luna asked curiously as she tapped on a rock with her hoof. To her surprise, it was apparently a rock-crab, as it stood up with its pinchers, snipping at her in annoyance before it...spun away into the distance was the only way to describe it.

"Luna, we've been over this," Celestia said with a sigh, "The frozen north extended down and when the infighting started, the Windigos hounded them until they moved south and chased them still."

"Shame we were off guarding the east from bandits spilling over from the Draco-Griffon war," Luna mused absently, eyeing an island floating high but directly above them.

"The tribes FINALLY managed to get put aside their differences before an all-out war began, then this happened to their new home," Celestia said, scowling a bit at the abstract world.

"That is actually what I'm referring to," Luna pointed out, "Why would they fight over this?"

"They said it was a very beautiful and bountiful realm before the strangeness happened," Celestia answered with a sigh as they stopped in front of a hill.

"Sister?" Luna asked in concern, putting a supportive hoof on her withers.

"I'm just...tired, Luna," Celestia admitted, "I know we agreed to become the Guardians of Ponykind, but it seems like the whole world is against ponies sometimes. And ever since Starswirl and the other mages joined together to keep the sun and moon going, it's mostly been against just the two of us."

"T'would be nice have somepony else to rely on and trust," Luna agreed.

"GERONIMOOOOOOO!" A loud voice echoed in their ears, making the sisters look around in alarm.

To their right, in the distance, was a mountain with an oddly ramp-like curve to it covered in a strange white material that was decidedly not snow. Near the top of said mountain, they saw a figure speedily sliding down on two finely made planks strapped to his feet. As this was before its invention, the Alicorns didn't know they were called skis.

"Who and what is that?" Celestia asked in surprise.

"I don't know, but whatever he is doing looks very entertaining," Luna said in interest, watching as the creature sped down towards an upturned segment of the mountain, his momentum sending him flying into the air towards a floating island. As he passed over it, he grabbed a tree branch and held on as it stretched like rubber. He was still for a fraction of a second before the tree shot him back into a crescent cloud. He rode his skis sideways on the curve, making a grinding sound as he went up toward- they couldn't believe this one- a floating set of piano keys.

As he sped across it, a tune played from the piano as he did tricks and flips along the up-and-down-and-loopy path of the keys until he went down a sharp curve, sending him on a nose dive...which landed right on top of the hill in front of them. He grinned at them cockily, "And that was all without a single drop of chocolate milk," He bragged, summoning his throne and lounging in it as they stared in bewilderment at the mismatched creature.

"...Couldn't you have just flown down?" Luna asked after a moment.

"Wouldn't have been as fun," Discord answered with a grin, "Ahh, where are my manners! Please, have a seat," he said with a wave.

The immortal siblings jumped around in alarm as one ski embedded itself in the ground behind each of them. As they stared at them, the objects morphed into the high backs of chairs while the cushions and legs seemed to rise out of the checkerboard ground. The surprise and movement resulted in them both falling backwards and landing with their backs on the floor.

Discord grinned as he leaned over them, "While I appreciate the nonsensical and unconventional, I'd like to think two lovely mares like you would prefer looking at my charming mug a bit more than at chair cushions," He said cheekily.

Said mares shot up in surprise and alert, eyes on the stranger cautiously, "Who are you? And what manner of chimeric creature are you?" Celestia asked evenly.

Discord smirked at that, "That'd be like me asking what manner of zebra you are, Celestia," He retorted smoothly.

Silence reigned to Discord's amused annoyance. Or annoyed amusement, either or.

"How do you know my sister's name?" Luna asked with a small glare.

"Now, now, if you make looks like that, your face will freeze that way, Luna," Discord chided playfully as he flicked his tail, lowering the hill behind him and jumping back into his throne, "When you're as powerful and old as me, learning who someone is can be child's play," He assured, pretending to hold an invisible piece of paper- or maybe he wasn't pretending, "Celestia and Luna, Alicorns for three hundred sixteen years now. Lulu ascended when she created dreamwalking magic whereas Tia accidentally invented the unmasterable art of future sight when she was trying to self-learn astral projection. Current Occupation: Guardians of Ponykind."

He looked up and blinked, finding Celestia covering her ears and scrunching her eyes closed. Luna was looking very, very nervous though, "H-how do you know our ascensions?! We never told anyone, not even Starswirl!" She yelled in disbelief and fear.

"Before I answer that? What, by the deliciousness of cotton candy, is your sister doing?" Discord asked, both confused and interested, stroking his beard and making small pieces of candy fall out of it…pieces which then began to crawl on the ground near his throne bottom.

Luna blinked, looking to Celestia and deadpanning, "She's...trying to stop you from reading her mind," She informed.

"Oh...Oh! Let me guess, trying to think an annoying noise over and over again?" Discord asked with a smirk, getting a nod, "Well, she's in for a rude awakening: I am the Uncontested King of Annoying Noises!" Discord declared.

Luna watched in fascination and horror as Discord reached down and pulled off his own draconic leg, leaving no visible wound on either end, Now, dragon scales were already one of the strongest things in the world. Add god-tier magic supporting it and one essentially has adamantium. Thus, when Discord brought his claws across his legs, it made one of the most horrendous noises one would ever hear. It was like nails on a chalk board multiplied by the most high pitched bird call in history plus the ringing in your ear that really isn't there and all taken to the power of an orchestra of amateur violinists playing an entire symphony.

"MAKE IT STOP! FOR THE LOVE OF THE MOTHER, MAKE IT STOP!" Celestia yelled desperately as she withered on the ground.

"Your wish is my command, Princess," Discord teased, putting his leg back on, rolling it a full time around with the clicking of gears in the air and patting it once he was done.

Celestia groaned as she got to her hooves, fearing her ears might be bleeding. She looked to her sister unsteadily, finding the blue Alicorn sitting there calmly, "Sister, how could you stand that?"

"Hmm, you say something, sister?" Luna asked curiously, looking to her sister, who only now saw the fluffy black earmuffs on her ears.

Celestia gaped at her sister in disbelief as Discord let out a loud laugh, "OHHOHOHO! The look on your face! Priceless!" He declared with applause as the earmuffs disappeared, making Luna blink in surprise.

"Yes, yes, yes, hilarious," Celestia said with a scowl as she righted herself and rubbed her ears a bit more, "Are you quite done?"

Discord rolled his eyes playfully, "Spoil sport. Have a seat then," He requested with a hand wave. Cautiously, they did so, sitting on all fours. He wondered if they had even yet seen a bipedal being sit like he did before now, let alone with one leg crossed, "Well, now that we got some silliness in our systems, allow me to introduce myself: I am Discord the Draconequus, King of Chaos, Lord of Mischief, Baron of Nonsense, Count of Ponty Mython, Creator of Cotton Candy, etc, and etc," He introduced cheerfully, reaching out to shake their hooves. After a moment of surprise and hesitation, they took the greeting, "Pleasure to make your acquaintances, Princesses," He added on cheekily.

"...Pleasure is all ours...your majesty," Luna answered cautiously, fairly sure most or all of those titles were fake or self-appointed.

"No need for formalities, Luna," He assured with a chuckle, "Not like I have any subjects to complain about decorum," He pointed out, waving to the strange realm around them.

"I imagine most would find it hard to live in such a place," Celestia pointed out cautiously.

"I can't help it if others can't enjoy my choice in decorations," Discord said with a huff, chin in the air, "So, what are a pair of adorable and budding immortals like you two doing in my lands?" He asked in a curious yet knowing tone.

"Your lands?" They both asked in sync.

He shrugged his shoulders at that, "I've been using this as my on-and-off playground for five hundred years now. I've shoved off a few dragons, a pack of diamond dogs, the occasional bugbears, tatzelworms and even a serpopard once. I like to think that all the time and effort gives me some claim to the place," He answered bluntly.

"...What's a serpopard?" Luna asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Pray you never find out," Discord said with a deadpan stare, making Luna's spine shiver...with bubbles coming out of her back. And…were they making a giggling sound as they popped?

Celestia, ignoring Luna's soapy incident, bit her cheek a little, "Lord Discord," She addressed, gaining his attention, "If your talents for information are as impressive as you say, you must know why we are here?" She pointed out politely and respectfully.

"Indeed I do, Princess," Discord said with a grin, "Those pony tribes are finally getting along some, but need a new home now after their original ones got a bit...snowed in."

"They had thought this to be that new home, Sir Discord," Luna added on, pointed yet hopeful.

"Until I started spreading my chaos magic over the lands again, shocking their little hearts," Discord finished the thought playfully, "Which leads us to the situation that you ponies moved onto my playground without permission, albeit unknowingly," He summarized.

Celestia raised an eyebrow at the choice of words, wondering if it was just that simple, "...May they live here, Lord Discord?" She asked slowly.

The Draconequus chuckled, "Of course! After all, it's a lot of land, Celestia. I wouldn't mind you all livening up the neighborhood some. Just consider the "strangeness," as the ponies are calling my artwork, a lesson in making sure a place is vacant before moving in," He assured cheekily.

"...That's it, just like that?" Luna asked in surprise.

"Well, we'll work out the exact details with the tribes a bit later. Though...," He paused for effect, smirking wickedly at them, "There is one thing I'd like from you both," He informed, licking his lips.

Luna blushed with wide eyes as Celestia stiffened, images running through their heads, "...If possible, Discord, I would appreciate you leaving my sister out of such an agreement," Celestia said solemnly, glaring lightly.

"Oh? I didn't take you for the greedy type, Celly," Discord joked.

"Sister!" Luna hissed with a glare.

"Luna, please," Celestia pleaded, keeping a straight face, never looking away from Discord.

"I am not about to let you sacrifice yourself to spare me," Luna added on stubbornly.

"Sacrifice?" Discord repeated, feigning being hurt with a claw over his heart, "I'd like to think being friends with me isn't _**that**_ bad, Luna!" He mock-protested.

The mares blinked and stared at him, "...Friends?" Celestia repeated, "That's it?"

"Well, if you want more than that, I wouldn't protest," Discord answered teasing as they eyed him oddly still, "But as I said, not a lot of subjects...," He reminded, waving his lion paw off to one side, smiling widely, "Besides, we immortals need to stick together, no?"

For a brief moment, Celestia stared at this being and pondered what he had said: An immortal, clearly older than them by some margin with a most unusual form and all he wanted was companionship? Strangely, that didn't surprise her. Without the ponies, as short as their lives seemed to them at times, she and Luna would probably wander from land to land aimlessly. Without Luna? Celestia shuddered to think of that, the centuries without her dear baby sister.

Discord managed to keep his smile from turning sad. He didn't need to read her mind to know what Celestia was thinking.

Luna coughed lightly, getting his attention, "...Sir Discord, not that we do not appreciate the offer and wouldn't mind being on friendly terms with you, but I must ask: What exactly are we agreeing to?" She asked curiously.

"Just Discord, Princess. And nothing much really. As a sign of good faith, I pulled back most of my magic from where the ponies have settled," Discord explained with a grin, "Really, all I'm doing is informing you of my intent to befriend you two lovely mares," He informed with a purr.

"..." Celestia's eyebrow twitched, resisting the urge to say something rude to the apparent ruler of these lands.

"...Well, it's less than what I was expecting as appeasement for trespassing," Luna said with a smirk.

"Oh? And what were you imagining?" Discord asked in amusement.

"Virgin mares," Luna answered, grinning as Celestia gaped at her and Discord blinked with wide eyes.

"..." The King of Chaos said nothing for a moment before pulling a peacock-feather quill from his nose and a scroll of parchment from his ear before setting the former to the latter, the quill writing on its own, "Note to self: See if I can't get an offering of virgin mares from tribe leaders," He whispered loudly to the enchanted writing device.

"Luna, stop giving him ideas!" Celestia hissed at her sister.

 **End of Chapter**

There we are, first chapter! Discord, or another version of Discord, gets a second shot at things, and gets to make a good impression and relationship with them. Don't worry, his deviousness isn't gone, just directed elsewhere. And the Tree of Harmony, apparently, approves of this all, so that should say enough about this Discord's new mindset.

And while the sisters are still very weirded out, they are warming up to him...maybe not his flirting, but still.

Anyway, next chapter will have Discord introduced to the ponies proper, seeing their reactions to him and how negotiations go between him and them...and if some virgin mares are getting "sacrificed" to Discord.

PS I'm planning on writing a fic that has the Mane 6, Princesses, and Discord watching and commenting on this fic(seen to them as a video). Not sure if I should put it as its own fic or post it in here as something like an Omake. Opinions?


	2. Ground Rules! The Negotations Begin

Discord's Rewrite

I don't own MLP

Summary: Thanks to Starlight's spell, Discord sends himself a present, two thousand years in the past: his future memories. This timeline will witness Discord, the Benign-Chaos, aiding the young princesses. Still, the ponies are going to have to learn to live with a bit more Chaos in their lives. Oh well, builds character.

Regular Speak

 _Thoughts and Flashbacks_

 **Demonic or Animalistic Speak**

 _ **Demonic or Animalistic Thoughts**_

It was a grand yet odd thing to watch as the " _Strangeness_ " flowed away like the tide on a beach. Normality seemed to creep back into things gradually: floating islands lowering back into place, flying fish soaring back into lakes, twisted creatures and plants slowly untwisting to their normal selves, the checkerboard ground making way for green grass, etc.

Many of the ponies, regardless of their race, started little celebrations over their Guardians solving whatever problem had been ailing their new land amongst the sea of tents and makeshift huts…many, but not all.

"I don't like this," Commander Hurricane commented grimly, his near-black blue coat almost blending in with his armor, while his mane of multi-shaded blue was cropped short with a piece of it fashioned on as part of his helmet- a pegasus military tradition, of sorts, "It's too easy..."

"Oh posh, Cane, don't be such a pessimistic feather-duster," Princess Platinum said with a smirk, her mane a silvery platinum and her coat a lavender shade.

"What'd you call me, Wand-Head?" Hurricane all but growled at her.

"You two just can't get along, can you?" Puddinghead, her white-pink coat with a mane of cinnamon red, questioned with an eye roll,

The trio of Clover the Clever, Smart Cookie, and Private Pansy sighed as they watched their leaders bicker once more. While they had managed to banish the Windigos and convinced their three tribes to do more than just coexist and share this new land they all found, tensions were still high between most members of each subspecies.

"This'll never last," Smart Cookie murmured in resignation, fixing her feathered hat over her short green-and-yellow mane.

"Don't say that," The forest-maned and white-coated Clover countered with a concerned frown, "We knew this wouldn't be easy and that those three wouldn't get along great."

"At least the Guardians helped tide things over for a while," Pansy spoke up softly, her long amber locks escaping from her metal helmet, "They looked so happy too..."

"Well, none of the tribes have ever gotten along greatly in the past, that we know of at least," Clover mused, "This must be a huge step forward for us in their eyes."

"Or might be our biggest tragedy," Smart Cookie muttered again, sighing at the annoyed looks her friends gave her, "I'm sorry, I'm just...out of optimism right now."

"That might not be a bad thing...," Pansy agreed cautiously, getting raised eyebrows from both of them, "While I'm not much of a fighter, I know the Commander is right. Something seems...off about how easy this was," She elaborated in worry.

Smart Cookie hummed to herself before turning to Clover, "Witch, what kind magic does all of...that?" She asked with a scowl.

"Must you call me that?" Clover asked with a glare.

"Huh? Isn't that what you call a female magic user?" Smart Cookie asked in confusion.

"Yes, I thought that too," Pansy added in curiously.

Clover sighed at that, "No, that refers to a rogue female mage, with a very negative stigma held onto it, unlike most wizards," She elaborated.

"Hey, not our fault your lot have been on the secretive side," Smart Cookie pointed out defensively.

"...Fair enough, I suppose," Clover begrudgingly admitted. Non-magic species, at least ones that didn't do outright spell-craft, often tossed terms like that around at their own convenience.

"...You never answered the question, though?" Pansy reminded cautiously.

"That was intentional," Clover answered, biting her lip, "I don't know what force in all of Terrum could have caused all that...chaos."

Pansy blinked, looking around in confusion as Smart Cookie looked skeptical, "You horn-heads raise the sun and the moon, a fact your tribe hangs over everypony's heads, but this all seemed impossible to you?" She asked with a raised eyebrow.

Clover let out a long, suffering sigh, "That is using magic to move objects on a grand scale, little more. This? This was utter reality warping and rewriting the laws of nature! No pony, not even the Guardians could do all of that with one spell. You'd have to cast hundreds, if not thousands of spells! Such a challenge should leave any arcane creature drained and the spells easily counterable. But these...transformations held fast even under my mentor's attempts to undo them!"

"Wait, wait, I'm confused. What do you mean, held fast?" Smart Cookie inquired, scratching her chin.

"If a powerful unicorn cast one spell and maintains it, they could hold it for hours, if not days- even if the average unicorn interferes. But if another powerful unicorn tries to interfere with a spell, it will be more draining and depending on the two power levels, might fail quickly. Have a powerful unicorn do the same thing, but with a dozen or two spells? Then the average unicorn can cancel the spell out, maybe even a filly if they know how," Clover elaborated, a bit more patiently now.

"So...whatever we're dealing with has a lot of magic?" Smart Cookie summarized.

"I...don't know, to be honest, if magic could even do all of that," Clover confessed, sounding defeated, "Most likely, it's a group of creatures that found a way to pool and combine magic, almost like how we did with the Unity Flame."

"...Well, I only have one question left: Where'd Pansy go to?" Smart Cookie asked, looking around for the pegasus.

Clover blinked at that, "Huh? She was just here a moment ago..."

"Here I am!" Pansy called with a sheepish grin as she walked from behind the Royal Tent that Princess Platinum had elected, in one of her more diplomatic moments, to allow the other two leaders to sleep in. Needless to say, they were all happy it was a giant tent, "Sorry, had to use the little filly's room," She answered sheepishly.

"What little filly's room? Use it for what?" Smart Cookie asked while Clover tilted her head.

"Huh? Oh, right. It's, um, a metaphor for using a chamber pot," She elaborated, furthering their confusion, "I'll explain later," She added on with a sigh.

"Hey, everypony!" Somepony yelled loudly, "Look, the guardians have returned!"

All heads looked to the sky and sure enough, there were the white and blue shapes of the Alicorns getting closer.

"We'll finish this later," Platinum hissed with a flat glare as Puddinghead huffed, refusing to look at the unicorn princess while the pegasus commander snorted, waiting for the two immortals to reach them.

From the moment they touched down, a small crowd gathered around the sisters, greeting them with praise and questions.

"Welcome back, Lady Luna, Lady Celestia!"

"Thank you, Alicorns, thank you!"

"Guardians! What caused this? What happened?"

"Miladies, are you well? You both look tired."

Celestia unfurled her wings briefly, a common tactic she used to draw silence without raising her voice, "Thank you for your concerns, but please hold your questions for now. My sister and I must speak with the leaders of the tribes about what we discovered," She requested, trying not to show that she was a bit annoyed.

"Do not worry," Luna spoke up with a genuine smile, "We bring only good news, in our own opinion."

The ponies murmured curiously as they made way for them to pass, allowing them to meet with the leaders and their companions.

"Celestia, Luna," Platinum greeted evenly, "It seems fortune favors you well today, vanquishing whatever accursed thing that plagued these lands so quickly and without injury. Or is invincibility another gift of your race?"

"Princess!" Clover hissed with a glare to the unapologetic royal.

"Thank you, Princess Platinum," Celestia returned civilly, "However, I regret to inform you that there was no vanquishing today," She added on with a smile.

"Say what?" Smart Cookie asked in surprise as the crowd of ponies watched on with quiet murmurs.

"What Smartie said," Puddinghead repeated with wide eyes.

"We met with the individual responsible for all the recent happenings in these lands," Luna explained happily, "While unapologetic about doing so, he merely wished to draw us to a meeting with him, it seems."

"I'm sorry, Guardians," Hurricane spoke up with narrowed eyes, "But you are saying that this is a single entity that caused everything to change, from the very earth and plant life to the clouds and waters and he did that...just to talk with you two?"

"Oh no, of course not," Luna assured with a head shake, "By 'us' I mean representatives of the ponies seeking to live here. And of course he didn't do all of that JUST for a meeting...he also did it for fun."

"For...fun?" Hurricane repeated slowly, raising an eyebrow.

"Hahaha, n-nice joke, Celestia, Luna," Clover commented with a nervous laugh, "One creature being capable of doing all of this? That's a stretch, but a being of that magnitude wouldn't throw such power around just for the fun of it. It j-just doesn't make sense. B-b-besides, if such a being existed, what would he even want to talk to us about?" She asked rhetorically with a strained smile.

"Hehe... _hehehe_... _ **HAHAHAHA**_!"

Everyone turned to stare with wide eyes at Private Pansy, holding her gut in fully belly laughter, "Wha-what's the matter, Clovey? Did they strike a _Cord_?" She asked with a wide grin, howling with laughter again as the surrounding ponies backed away slightly from the seemingly deranged pony.

"Oh no," Celestia murmured with an exasperated sigh while Luna just grinned.

"Something wrong with your soldier, Hurricane?" Platinum asked with both eyebrows raised.

"Private! What has gotten into you!?" Hurricane barked, looking at her sternly.

Pansy suddenly stopped laughing and gave her superior a half-lidded smirk, "Well, certainly not you, Hurry-Cane," She said with a teasing drawl.

"...What..?" Hurricane said with a small blush on his shocked face.

"Pansy, by all the fruits of the earth, what's wrong with you?" Smart Cookie asked in alarm.

"Oh, I just don't know, Smarty," Pansy said with a pout as she strolled right up to the slightly disturbed earth pony's side, "Maybe I just want to taste your Cookie?" She asked suggestively, Hurricane gapping with an almost broken expression.

"Since when are you a fillyfooler!?" Smart Cookie asked in alarm, blushing heavily.

"That's NOT Private Pansy," Celestia spoke up flatly, getting gasps and chatter from everywhere.

"Not Pansy? But it clearly is!"

"Have the guardians lost it?"

"Maybe it's a spell? Pansy IS acting weird."

"Oh, ruin my fun, Celly," Pansy pouted childishly.

"I think these lands might be spreading madness to us ponies," Platinum whispered to the others. Clover just stared with wide eyes at the scene playing out while the earth ponies rolled their eyes.

"Just couldn't stand to be without us for another second, Discord?" Luna teased, walking up to the 'mare's' side.

"Ohhhh, you are _sooooo_ too young to be trying to get me to blush, little Alicorn," Not-Pansy countered with a wicked smirk.

Hurricane scowled, his composure regained, "Guardians, have you both gone daft? This is obviously-" He started, only for 'Pansy' to look at him with a bored expression, steel blue eyes flashing to scarlet red briefly, "... **not** Private Pansy," He agreed with wide eyes, now truly alarmed.

"Seems the bird half of a pegasus is a parrot's," PansiCord joked with a smirk, raising her right wing out...

...and prompting Luna to hold it still with her magic, "Now, Discord, doing...whatever you're thinking of doing would probably be a bad first impression," Luna reminded, unable to stop grinning.

"Impersonating one of my soldiers isn't helping either," Hurricane seethed, glaring down at the imposter as four pegasus soldiers joined their commander and surrounded their "comrade" as two unicorns and earth ponies stood near their respective leaders, just in case.

"Commander, I would advise against threatening him," Celestia cautioned evenly.

"And why is that, Guardian?" Hurricane asked as he stared at the doppelganger and the other immortal next to it. Luna cast a slightly disapproving look at the soldiers, even if they were clearly pointing their spears at the disguised Discord and not herself.

Speaking of whom, he was staring right at the point of one, looking up it into the wielder's eyes, "Spears? How barbaric," Disansy teased in a mock scandalized voice, making the spear colt growl lightly.

"Commander," Luna spoke up, giving him an unamused look, "May I introduce you to the source of the Strangeness, along with being the current occupant of these realms: Discord," Luna introduced.

"...What?" Hurricane demanded with a glare as he marched up to the duo, "And just why has this so called source infiltrated our camp, mare-napped one of my own and taken her form?" He asked through gritted teeth as he stood eye to eye with PansiCord, glaring into those amused eyes.

"I was bored," Discord answered with a shrug, Hurricane gaping for a moment. Discord seemed to have that effect on him.

Celestia face hooved at that as Platinum rose an elegant brow, "Celestia, are you sure this isn't some manner of prank by your sister?"

Discord snorted, tossing his currently-feminine mane over his shoulders as he glanced at the royal, "This is obviously a prank! Just one by me, not Bluna here," Discord corrected with a chuckle.

"Enough!" Hurricane roared, "Where. Is..." He trailed off as the eyes suddenly got higher as the equine body slowly turned more serpentine, "Pri...vate...Pan...sy?" He continued numbly as the guards took a step back in alarm, all the ponies gasping and staring at the chimeric giant towering over them all now, " _What_...?"

"Hello, Commander," Discord greeted with a lazy smirk.

"Wha-what is _**that**_!?"

"H-how did it do that?!"

"Look at those _claws_! And that **fang**!"

"Did He _**Eat**_ Pansy!?"

"WE'RE ALL-" ***SNAP!***

Everypony suddenly found themselves muted as Discord snapped his fingers, causing their fear to turn to confusion.

"Yes, sorry about that, ponies!" Discord called over them all, getting their attention once more, "Before you all start besmirching my character, I do not eat ponies. I am here to have a talk with your leaders. That is all," He announced, snapping his fingers again.

"...How did you do that?" Clover asked in shock.

"Magic!" Discord answered...popping out right behind her, making her and the other pony leaders leap in shock as they looked at him floating effortlessly off the ground.

"H-Hey!" Hurricane yelled, turning to the warriors...who were all hogtied with deceptively strong balloon-versions of their own spears.

"Commander, please calm yourself," Luna scolded lightly, "I promise you, Private Pansy is fine, if not better."

"Discord, please settle down," Celestia requested as she approached him, "You're still scaring everypony."

"Oh, come on, Princess! I kept it tame!" Discord complained as he summoned up a glass of chocolate milk, "It's not like I brought all their tents to life to start singing backwards Opera. Lemon cake, by the way?" He offered, a slice floating near her

"...Tempting," Celestia admitted, "And we appreciate that, but you should probably hold it off a bit longer, at least until it's been made clear who you are and why you're here."

"Oh, fine...Also, you still have that list?" He asked curiously. Celestia merely rolled her eyes as her horn ignited...and a roll of paper came out of her ear, to the amusement of several fillies, "Good, add this to the top of the list, in big bold letters: In-door Plum-bing. Then circle and underline it. Repeatedly," He instructed bluntly as she summoned a quill.

"...Plum _MING_ or Plum **BING**?" Celestia asked with a raised eyebrow as Luna rejoined them.

"Bing, as in Bingo," He answered with a grin, getting confused looks, "...Oh, right, this is before that," He murmured to himself thoughtfully.

"I'm still far more interested in those you mentioned, Discord. What were they again...Vid Of Games?" Luna asked curiously.

"Lulu, we are a **LONG** ways away from that!" Discord informed as he held out his eagle talon and pulled a string down with his tail to reveal a calendar, which he folded several thousand years up to a random date and year sometime- okay it was flipped to the thousandths Summer Sun Festival, not that they knew that.

"...Princess Platinum, you have any idea what is going on here?" Chancellor Puddinghead asked with wide eyes.

"I'm not sure, beyond the fact that the guardians are conversing with this strange creature and Hurricane is once more making a fool of himself," Platinum answered, glancing at the pegasus, working on getting his troops unbound, "Clover?"

"They said he's the source of the Strangeness...," Clover the Clever murmured in disbelief, eyes still wide as she watched Discord's move, "M-master Starswirl might have a better idea of...what he is."

"Excuse me!" Smart Cookie called, standing a few paces behind the newcomer, scowling lightly.

Celestia tilted her head to the side to get a better look at the mare while Discord removed his head with a pop, to the shock and horror of many, before putting it on backwards as his body turned around without moving, a clanking noise in the background, "Cookie?" He asked, and offered, holding up a chocolate chip one in her direction.

"...Yes I am, and no thank you," Smart Cookie answered carefully, trying not to let her hooves shake as she addressed him, "I-I would appreciate it if you told me where Pansy is, S-sir..Discord, was it?" she demanded respectfully.

Discord smirked, "A little respect, how refreshing. Yes, that is me, my dear. As for your friend, I just let her take a dip," Discord assured with a grin.

"...What did you do?" Luna asked with a smirk of her own.

In response and to the confusion of many ponies, Discord snapped his tail. A flash of light later and they were all staring at...

"Discord, what _**IS**_ this?" Celestia asked in honest confusion.

"What does it look like, Celly?" He asked with a smirk.

Princess Platinum tilted her head as she approached the object, "It...looks like a pond or pool of some sort, but above ground," She noted in interest.

"And made of...this almost feels like leather..." Hurricane noted suspiciously, feeling it with his hooves.

"Vinyl, actually and don't scratch," Discord supplied, grinning at his inside joke…or time joke, whichever.

"And is that...chocolate?" Puddinghead asked in disbelief, smelling the delicious liquids.

"Chocolate milk, to be precise," Discord answered, raising an eyebrow as he looked at it, "What is she-oh, well, I'm glad I added those in now," Discord mused with a massive grin.

Luna rose an eyebrow, "What are you-?"

* **SPLASH** * _drip*drip*drip*_

And in that moment, Discord unknowingly got on Commander Hurricane's good side as said pegasus ingrained the image into his mind for all eternity. There was Private Pansy, bare of all armor, half way emerged from the pool, her fur and mane drenched in chocolate milk that freely washed off her coat like water, clutching a cookie-fish in her forelegs...and head tilted back with her eyes closed as she spit a stream of milk out of her mouth...and falling right onto Princess Platinum's head, drenching her crown and all.

"Oh...s-s-sorry, your majesty," Pansy apologized nervously as the princess glared at her, "...Fish-cookie?" She offered hopefully.

"No, thank you," Platinum said through gritted teeth.

"I'll take that," Puddinghead volunteered, taking the living confection.

"Chancellor, wait it might not be safe to eat!" Clover warned urgently.

"But I've already eaten three...," Pansy pointed out.

"...I left you alone for less than ten minutes- _how fast do you swim_!?" Discord asked, honestly a bit impressed by that, _'She might be an ancestor Fluttershy_ AND _Rainbow!'_

"Pansy has a unique gift for being able to make her feathers go rigid and stay together, making it easier to swim," Hurricane answered, still looking too pleased with the current situation. Pansy blushed as she caught her commander's gaze.

"You planned this, didn't you?" Celestia whispered to Discord accusingly.

"Not nearly as much as you might think," Discord whispered back with a sly grin.

"Discord, was it?" Hurricane asked with a smirk, looking up at the giant, "I believe we got off on the wrong hoof."

"Which is too bad, since I have only one of those," Discord quipped, now balancing on his tail and holding up said hoof in his hand, leg and all.

While most other ponies reeled back in shock and horror, Hurricane just went a little wide-eyed, "If only we didn't have to worry about our limbs like that," Hurricane commented in interest, "So, why are you here exactly?"

Discord grinned in approval as he popped the limb back on and snapped fingers on both hand. The pool vanished and was replaced by a long table. On one side sat the three leaders of the tribes, Platinum blinking to find herself dry and spotless once more, with their advisors at their backs. On either short side was one of the Alicorns, looking much less bewildered. And on the opposite end of the leaders sat Discord in his horned throne.

"I'm here, ponies, so we can negotiate the living arrangements here for you and your tribes," Discord answered bluntly while smiling disarmingly.

Silence reigned at that implication.

"Well, this feels awkward," Luna commented absently.

"Might as well as make it a public hearing," Discord answered with shrug.

"Negotiate? Why would we negotiate with you?" Chancellor Puddinghead asked when it was obvious that no one else would.

"Because I'm the ruler and owner of these lands," Discord announced with a small smirk, his voice carrying over the area.

"What!? By what right do you claim ownership of anything? I see no subjects, no castle to mark _**you**_ as any form of nobility or royalty!" Princess Platinum retorted in slight outrage.

Discord stayed cool as a cucumber, which he restrained himself from turning into, as Celestia scolded the unicorn with a frown, "Princess, please be civil. Lord Discord was more than willing to come to the table on this matter and pulled back the chaos spreading throughout the land as a show of good will."

Platinum stuck her nose up at that, "I doubt it was his doing alone, according to the words of Clover the Clever," She rebuked, making her adviser stiffen a bit, "He probably merely ordered some other spell casters to undo it."

"So, which is it?" Discord asked with a raised eyebrow, "Do I have _no_ subjects or do I have **several** subjects that apparently can manipulate reality?" He asked toyingly. Platinum clammed up, realizing her error in logic, prompting Discord to look to the Pegasus Commander, "Tell me, Hurricane? What allows someone to be recognized as the ruler of any lands?"

The blue stallion raised an eyebrow before answering evenly, "The ability to exert influence, authority, and control over the region," He answered solemnly.

"Exactly," Discord said as he rested his head in his talon...

...Something _**changed**_. The tribe leaders weren't sure what it was, but something was different about the beast before them

They and the crowd turned around in shock as they saw trees of a nearby forest rise and bark, somehow bark, like mad dogs. The ponies took fearful steps back, before looking down to see the grass uprooted itself and used their blades to do battle against the relatively giant flower-monsters.

"That's...That's _impossible_!" Clover yelled in disbelief.

"Think that's proof enough, Princesses?" Discord asked a smirk.

"Yes, yes, that's enough, we believe you!" Platinum answered in slight fear.

"Sorry, but you're not whom I'm asking," Discord retorted smugly, looking to Luna and Celestia.

"I think they get the message, Discord," Luna answered with a smirk.

"My Lord and Ladies?" Celestia asked, trying to stay neutral.

"Aye!" Puddinghead agreed readily.

"..." Hurricane was busy watching the grass fight…rather well too. Perhaps he could ask Discord for some troops to…

"Hurricane!" Platinum hissed.

"Hmm?" The pegasus looked up curiously, "...Well, obviously, if you can bring the plants to life and fight, along with everything else we saw happen the past few days, then yes, you certainly have some claim of dominion over these lands," He acknowledged with a shrug.

"That's all I wanted to hear," Discord answered with a grin as he sat upright, the trees settling down and the grass diving their roots back into the earth, "So, down to business?"

"What, exactly, do you want from us?" Puddinghead asked cautiously.

"Not a lot," Discord answered with a shrug, "First, I just want you to acknowledge that you're living on my lands. I think I deserve at least that considering that I've fought over it with Ursas, dragons, meganticores, sauritans, rabidogs, and everything else," He mused idly, "And that's just these past few centuries."

"...Centuries?" Pansy spoke up in surprise as everypony else tried not to imagine those creatures.

"Oh? Did I forget to mention?" He asked coyly, "I'm an immortal, like Celly and Lulu here. Only _waaaaay_ older," He answered, holding his hands apart and stretching his arms beyond their length to do so.

"An immortal?"

"Another one?

"What is he? A...chimera?"

"Draconequus, my dear," Discord answered loudly, glancing right at the mare in question, "That's the best word for what I am," He explained with a smirk.

"Discord the Draconequus...," Clover mentally noted.

"I do have a few loose rules about living here, however," Discord informed with a frown.

"And what, exactly, would that be?" Platinum asked, still looking unhappy about the situation.

 ***BOOP!*BOOP!*BOOP!***

All three leaders found their noses being poked...by the same lion-finger, somehow, "I don't want to find your tribes at war with each other," He warned.

"And if there's a dispute?" Hurricane asked evenly, while the other two looked to be somewhat agreeable to this point.

"Then we'll mediate it," Discord answered flatly, waving to Luna and Celestia, before sitting back in his seat, back to only having one paw now, "Speaking of them, this next rule is actually something these two requested," Discord explained, getting raised eyebrows, "You three tribes have to live together."

"What?!" The three yelled in slight rage, as did several other ponies.

" **SIT** _DOWN_!" Discord barked, his eyes ablaze for a moment. Immediately, a good hundred or two flanks went straight down, including the leaders and their aides. Even Celestia and Luna looked shocked as their new friend instantly returned to a more pleasant tone, "Look, you lot beat the Windigos. I didn't particularly have a thing against them, but I give you props for that. And I want to give you ponies a break, I honestly do. But if you're not going to play nice, you'll have to play rough...with me," He warned gravely, "You can all have your Tribal centers or whatever, but since you're sharing this land, you can't just go back to ignoring each other outside of that flimsy trade agreement you all had."

"...That'll take some work," Puddinghead warned, "The three tribes have been at odds for a long time...Lord Discord," She added on carefully.

"That's what these two are for," Discord said, thumbing toward Celestia and Luna, who blinked.

"Wait, what?" Luna asked in surprise.

"You want the tribes to get along, you're both helping," Discord explained with a shrug.

"Is there anything else?" Platinum asked curiously

"Well, obviously, I'll still have my chaos outside your towns and a bit inside when I come visit," Discord mused, scratching his beard, "That just leaves one question: How are you going to pay your rent?"

"Rent?" The three asked at once.

"Well, you're living here, so I'd like to get a little something out of it occasionally," He explained.

"...Are these terms set in stone, for the record?" Clover the Clever spoke up.

Discord gripped his tail with his draconic foot to stop from laughing, "Nope! That'd make it boring. You can all sleep on it. I have all the time in the world, literally, so we can negotiate this for quite a while if you want," He answered, poofing away the table, chairs and his throne, "For now, you're all still free to stay."

"...Just like that?" Puddinghead asked curiously.

"You're my guests for now," Discord answered with a grin, "I'm not about to throw my guests out into the cold while we try to work something out."

"Though, if you want to end the talks quickly...," Luna spoke up with a smirk.

"Luna, don't you dare," Celestia whispered to her sister.

"He said he'll take a virgin mare every decade as payment!" Luna finished.

"What?!" Several ponies asked in alarm.

"That's an outright lie!" Discord denied before grinning, "I said every eleven and a quarter years."

Celestia facehooved at that. She just knew she'd be doing that a lot in the future.

 **End of Chapter:**

Here we go, new chapter! Took me a little while, but I got it done and am satisfied with how the three leaders and their advisors turned out.

And the negotations have begun...obviously, by the titles. Those are all the opening point, but there'll be more to address. And Discord has exerted just enough power to show that yes, he does have a right to these lands by most standards. However, he hasn't pulled out the big guns just yet. After all, controlling plants like that is impressive, but its not God-tier exactly.

And yes, Discord of all beings is setting down ground rules. If for no other reason than to establish that yes, he's top dog here, and to make the alicorn sister happy...and probably get the timeline's Equestria on track to existing.

Next chapter, Discord meets Starswirl, and a great wizard meets a god.

 **Review Responses:**

 **code R.R-** That's me, always thinking up what others don't. XP

 **FlamingFoxNinja** \- Yep! He basically gave himself the script and than tossed it out.

 **The Richmaster** -Glad to here. And you're probably right.

 **Guest** \- Discord MOV?

 **nightmaster000** \- I can only imagine...a lot.

 **ShiningShadow1965** \- Mad a mental note of itt.

 **UnsanMusho** \- Oh, there'll be a few things to give him trouble. And you'll see. XP

 **duskrider** \- Probably a good idea.

 **Reishin Amara** \- That's always been my headcannon. They had to come from somewhere, but the Mysterious South and Undiscovered West seem unlikely. So does the East with the griffons and the dragons, so that just leaves the north, which makes sense with the ...

 **The Keeper of Worlds** \- Glad to hear!

 **booklover41** \- Thanks!


	3. Divine Revelations? Discord's Sundown

Discord's Rewrite

I don't own MLP

Regular Speak

 _Thoughts and Flashbacks_

 **Demonic or Animalistic Speak**

 _ **Demonic or Animalistic Thoughts**_

"Well, that went better than expected," Celestia commented with a tired smile, walking through the lightly wooded hills, near enough to the camps to walk but far enough to be out of the way.

"Celestia, reminded me to give you a _**long**_ vacation after things with the tribes get smoothed over," Discord commented, giving her a dry yet sympathetic look as he floated between the two Alicorns.

"A va-what?" They both asked in confusion.

Discord face-palmed, pulled off his face, and threw it back on, "It means to take a relaxing break from your job," He elaborated, a bit annoyed by the past's lack of modern terms...or the present's lack of future terms, either or.

"Hey, why don't I get a vacason?" Luna asked with a pout..."And why are you carrying me in your tail?" She added on, staring at the length of his tail around her barrel while keeping her head leaning back to try to keep the puffy end away from her nose.

"Luna, I do in fact have eyes in the back of my head," Discord scolded playfully, as three eyes appeared on the back of his skull, giving her a playful look, "And because you decided to imitate a cat and start pouncing after my tail."

"Only because you started tickling my nose," Luna retorted.

"Lulu, if I want to tickle you, you'd be tickled," Discord countered with a grin, "But to answer your question? If you go with Celestia, then I'll end up there at some point, and then she'll spend the entire time face-hoofing over our fun and won't get to relax at all," He explained.

"Worst part is that he's not wrong," Celestia murmured to herself.

"...We really need to get you you're first mare sacrifice to...preoccupy yourself with," Luna commented with a smirk.

"You dirty mare you," Discord teased with a smirk as he placed her down. Luna returned the smirk...trying not to notice or blush at how his tail brushed by her flank.

Celestia sighed at that, "How long are you two going to keep that joke going?" She asked in exasperation.

The draconequus and younger alicorn rose an eyebrow each before looking at each other, "She thinks we're joking?" Discord asked in a whisper, getting a shrug.

"So, Discord? Have you always lived here?" Celestia asked curiously.

"Oh no, just for a long time now," He admitted with a smile, "Nice little spot that has a bit of everything: mountains, plains, swamps, deserts, tundra, jungles, canyons, rivers, lakes, and just about everything else," He answered genuinely. True, the Tree of Harmony was a factor, but there was a reason he liked Equestria.

"Where'd you live before?" Luna asked curiously.

Discord chuckled mysteriously as he floated on his back, "Trust me, Lulu, you wouldn't believe me if I told you."

Luna pouted at that as Celestia perked up, "We're getting close," She informed, looking to the top of the hill.

Discord didn't need to be told that, sensing the unicorn magic in the area. He lifted his gaze upward, relative to himself, as he looked to the hill top where some trees had been taken down for a small campsite for about a clawful of ponies. There were tents, an unlit fire pit, some logs around it, and a few other knickknacks.

"What a cozy little campsite. I would make a joke about hobos if I thought either of you'd understand it," Discord mused, picking up an empty wooden bowl.

Luna started snickering with her head poked in a tent before pulling out, "Hobos? Now you're making stuff up! No chance that's a real word!" Luna accused as she held back giggles.

"Any other time you might be right," Discord murmured, holding the bowl up to his ear like a conch shell, "We just missed them...and they have horrible taste in bonfire stories," He informed idly.

"Hobo. Ho-bo," Luna repeated in amusement, "Hobolocosonoromodojotowo..."

"They must have left to end the day," Celestia reasoned, looking up at the sun, wings shielding her eyes, "...It's still fairly high in the sky though.

"...vogofoyo- oh, maybe we'll get a decent sunset this time," Luna commented hopefully.

"Luna, that's not very nice. Starswirl and the others work hard to keep those two balls of light turning," Celestia scolded lightly.

"So many jokes I could make, but no time to get them all in," Discord lamented, tossing the bowl over his shoulder. The others legitimately didn't notice it spinning and drilling a hole into the ground.

"You know what I mean Sister," Luna countered with an eye roll, "Most dawns and dusks are just run of the mill, but every now and then, they pull off something...beautiful," Luna elaborated with a whimsical smile, something Celestia couldn't help returning, "Oh, maybe we'll see a bit of green tonight," She mused with a grin.

"The Green Flash?" Discord asked with a raised eyebrow, smirking lightly as he snapped his fingers to let loose a small wisp of a green, fire-like substance.

"Now you're just showing off," Luna teased.

"Only now?" Discord asked in mock surprise, getting a chuckle from both sisters this time, "Lot of races used to believe that meant someone, or something, left the underworld," He remarked ominously

"Remind me to never let you tell scary stories to fillies and colts," Celestia commented dryly.

"Why, worried my tales will traumatize them?" Discord asked playfully.

"I'd be more worried you were telling them the truth, to be honest," Celestia admitted.

"A valid concern," Discord consented before sighing, "So, is the mare in the bushes going to come out or just keep watching us like a voyeur?" Discord asked with an unimpressed look.

"Yes, Clover, it's much warmer and less brambly over here," Luna offered with an amused smile.

Clover the Clever, wide-eyed, poked her head up to see everyone staring at her, completely unphased by her appearance, "How'd you know I was here?" She asked in surprise.

"Hmm? Were we not supposed to know you were following us since we left the main camp?" Celestia asked with a raised eyebrow.

Clover gaped as Discord smirk, "You may have a knack for magic, my dear, but a ninja you are not," he quipped with a chuckle.

"A what?" The three mares asked in confusion.

Discord pinched the bridge between his eyes and groaned, "Ohh, you uncultured equines," He bemoaned, knowing he'd have to either throw out all his current material for the older stuff, wait a thousand years for it to make sense, or teach it to them. None were very appealing for varying reasons.

"...But why didn't anypony say something earlier?" Clover asked curiously.

"I thought you were just having...difficulties defecating again," Luna answered with a shrug.

"I thought you were just nervous about him," Celestia explained, motioning to Discord.

Who was now missing and replaced by a sign in the ground with the words written on it: _**"I just wanted a distraction!"**_

"...Distraction for what?" Celestia dared to ask.

"Jackpot!" Discord declared loudly as he zoomed out of a tent, holding a very...jingly object, "Oh, what a hat!" he praised with a grin.

"W-wait, don't touch the hat, please!" Clover the Clever requested urgently, running up to the hybrid and too worried at the moment to wonder why she couldn't grasp it with her magic, "Starswirl hates it when others mess with his hat! And besides, your horns..." She pleaded.

Discord raised an eyebrow and scowled at the mare, "My horns? Really?" He asked condescendingly, placing the hat on his head, his horns phasing through the fabric harmlessly.

"...Okay, I suppose I should have expected that," Clover admitted sheepishly, looking back to the Alicorns, "How are you both so calm about him?"

Celestia shrugged, "We're immortal, but we haven't seen much of the world. We're not surprised there are others, far older and more powerful than us," She admitted calmly.

Luna nodded in agreement, "Besides, this is nothing compared to what we did earlier," She mused before her expression turned nostalgic, "I never knew paradoxical hide and seek could be so fun...or possible."

"I have to admit..."" Celestia started off with a smile, "It was rather fun, Melt-Army-Tag."

"Hurricane would get obsessed with that," Discord mused with a smirk, "Remind me to introduce you both to ashpods."

"...My brain," Clover lamented to the amusement of the trio, "My poor, poor, logic driven mind."

"Says the mare that defeated winter spirits with friendship fire," Discord quipped with a raised eyebrow, tilting the hat up with a claw.

"...Point," Clover conceded with a sigh, "But could you _pleeeease_ take the hat off?" She begged.

"Not until I get his opinion on something," Discord refused with a huff and his arms crossed, his ears twitching.

"Clover? Are you there? I thought I heard Celestia and Luna?" A stallion's voice called from just outside the tent

"Speak of the Wiz, there he is," Discord murmured in amusement as the stallion came in view from between two tents. He found it rather amusing with how much the wizard's ground-long white beard was played up in the old timeline, especially since it was currently very much brown with only a bit of greying and only barely went lower than his withers.

Discord didn't stop grinning as Starswirl came to an abrupt halt and slowly turned to stare at him, "What in the...?" Starswirl asked with wide eyes.

"Hello~! I'm Discord," He greeted with a chipper tone.

"Ummm, hello," Starswirl returned in bewilderment before turning to Clover, "Am I drunk?" He asked curiously, "Because I usually know when I am."

"No, Master Starswirl, you're not drunk," Clover assured with a sympathetic look.

"Then I probably will be soon, but why is there a floating...what I can only describe as the love child of a chimera and a manticore...in my camp and wearing my hat?" Starswirl asked calmly.

"I'm just a tiny bit insulted by that, if only for the lack of imagination," Discord commented patently.

"I'm a bit drained at the moment, my apologies" Starswirl said with a sigh.

Luna smiled widely as she made the introduction, "Discord, this is Starswirl the Bearded. His beard is still recovering from an alchemic mishap," She explained, getting a blank glare from the wizard in question, "Starswirl, meet Discord the Draconequus: King of Chaos, Lord of Mischief, Baron of Nonsense, Count of Ponty Mython, Chieftain of Pranks, Supreme General of the Grass Root Armies, Admiral of the Chocolate Seas, Warlord of Rock Crabs, Duke of the Growling Willows, and Consul of Balderdash," Luna introduced.

Before anyone, even Discord, could comment, Celestia cleared her throat, "Despot of Disarray, Margrave of Cakes, Knight of Disorder, Earl of Illogic, Viceroy of Wits, and Master of the Strangeness," She listed off, giving Discord a small smirk, "Satisfied?"

Discord was wide-eyed as he looked between the two for a moment before he and a million ant-sized copies of himself clapped in applause, "Bravo, ladies, bravo. I'll be sure to return the favor and give you both a host of titles as well."

"Oh please, I doubt we're that interesting," Luna retorted with a snort of amusement.

Discord smirked knowingly as Starswirl blinked and shook his head, "I'm sorry...I'm still processing all of that, but did Celestia just said you were controlling the Strangeness?" Starswirl asked curiously.

"Controlling, causing, inspiring, generating, etc, etc, ali-ali-etc," Discord answered idly, "Hey, answer this for me: Horns or No Horns?" He asked with a smirk as he grasped the front and back of the bell covered hat, pulling it back and forth ever so slightly, causing his horns to disappear into and reemerge out of the hat.

All at once, Starswirl started grinning and clapping, "Oh, I like that! And horns, definitely horns...but I still want my hat back," Starswirl reminded.

"Yes, yes, I just need to check something," Discord assured as he pulled off the hat and started looking over it, "No spells?" Discord asked in mild disappointment.

"No spells, enchantment, or anything else," Starswirl answered, raising an eyebrow as Discord put his head into the hat.

"Really Swirls, I expected more," Discord's head commented, popping out of a hole…the same hole that had been drilled earlier by the bowl…in the ground before popping away. Clover rushed over to stare down the hole...only to be hit with a geyser of bubbles, leaving her with a bubble beard, "You should always be careful when playing with strange holes, my dear," He scolded playfully to the annoyed unicorn, his head out of the hat.

Starswirl, ignoring his apprentice's predicament, scowled up at the Draconequus, "I'll have you know I'd never risk that hat! It is the hattiest hat that ever hatted!" He declared proudly

 _'Hellllllo Pinkie Pie's great-something grandpa!'_ Discord mentally declared with a grin, taking off and returning it...by shrinking it down and putting it on Starswirl's horn, "There we go! A Horn Hat!"

"Ohh, yes, yes!" Starswirl agreed before stroking his beard thoughtfully, "Though, I feel like we can do better. Horn scarves?"

"Oh no, those would just keep getting in the eyes or tickling noses," Discord pointed out as they both scowled thoughtful before a figurative and literal light bulb went off above Starswirl's and Discord's respective heads.

"HORN SOCKS!" They both declared, pointing a claw and a hoof at each other. With a snap of Discord's claws and a burst from Starswirl's horn, Discord suddenly had a red plaid sock over his deer antler and, of all things, an orange and blue houndstooth on his blue horn. Starswirl, meanwhile, had his normal sized hat back along with a midnight blue sock over his horn, decorated with golden stars, white crescents and blue swirls.

"Oh, I think we are going to get along marvelously," Discord predicted with a smirk.

"BWAHAHAHAHAHA!" Luna, meanwhile, was rolling on the ground and laughing her ass off.

"Great, now there's two of them," Clover remarked dryly.

"Perhaps this meeting wasn't the best idea," Celestia noted warily.

""H-horns socks! Hahaha!" Luna yelled between laughs, pounding her hooves on the ground, "Ohhhh, I shall never look at s-socks the same way again!"

"Hmm, I don't think I've ever heard you howl like that, Luna," Starswirl noted with a smile.

"But you **have** heard her howl?" Discord asked with a teasing smirk as the socks disappeared, _'Hmm, well, looks like I'm making progress in the_ 'preventing Nightmare Moon' _goal,'_ Discord mused with a small smile.

"Not in the manner you're thinking, but yes: She has a thing for wild beasts," Starswirl explained before smirking as well, "I suppose that's why she seems to like you."

"Try harder next time, Horn-Hat," Discord quipped.

"If you're all quite done accusing each other of sleeping with my sister," Celestia prompted evenly, Luna snickering for new reasons now.

"Right, right, we did get a bit sidetracked," Starswirl agreed, raising an eyebrow at Discord now, "So, back on topic...are you claiming to be the singular cause of all the things that have been happening in these chaotic lands?"

"Well of course! They are my lands after all," Discord informed with a grin.

Starswirl blinked, looking to each of the mares who all gave him individual nods, Clover's being a bit more nervous and uncertain, before looking blankly back at Discord, "Ah...oh, runes, we're trespassing," He realized with wide eyes.

"Don't worry, don't worry!" Luna assured quickly before puffing out her chest and taking on a posh voice, "Emperor Discord I of the Chaoslands has mercifully granted ponykind a home in his dominion!" She declared overdramatically

"You are abusing my ego, you know that?" Discord asked with a smirk.

"Only because there's so much of it to abuse," Luna quibbed innocently before sticking her tongue out.

"I can't help feeling there's a catch," Starswirl noted cautiously.

"Well, yes, there is," Clover spoke up, "He actually met with the Chancellor, Commander, and Princess today."

"I...can't imagine that went well," Starswirl commented dryly, feeling a headache form just by the thought of it.

"He's on Commander Hurricane's good side," Celestia informed flatly.

Starswirl blinked once, then twice as he shook his head, "I'm...sorry, how the sard did you manage _**THAT**_?!" Starswirl exclaimed in shock.

"You want the long version or the short version?" Discord asked casually.

"I'll take the easy version," Starswirl answered flatly.

"Well, if you must know, it's because an armor-less and dripping wet Pansy spit...spitted...spat all over Platinum," Discord summarized.

"...What's the long version?" Starswirl asked in confusion.

"That is the long version!" Discord answered with a smug grin, "The short version is: I'm Discord!"

"...I have got to start staying in the main camp," Starswirl said after a few moments.

"Yes, I was wondering about that," Discord commented, eyeing the place, "Let me guess, Platinum?"

"Oh, so you've met her," Starswirl noted with a dry scowl, "She's really something, that arrogant, whiny, greedy, snobby, elitist, bratcess..." He grumbled.

"I'm detecting massive levels of resentment," Discord noted, holding up what looked like a metal detector to Starswirl's head, beeping like crazy.

"She once told us to not raise the sun until she woke up," Starswirl answered flatly.

"Don't worry, you're not alone anymore," Discord assured with a comforting pat on the back as he floated over to the wizard.

"Speaking of the sun, isn't it about that time?" Celestia asked, the mares having gotten comfortable to listen to the interesting talk.

Starswirl let off a suffering sigh at that, "Yes, me and the others just took a break. The sun is being exceptionally stubborn today," He muttered tiredly

"The sun gets stubborn?" Celestia asked curiously.

"It does, our magics don't want to sync up, some of us are accidentally pushing the wrong way," Starswirl rambled a bit, "It gets very complicated and tiring on us."

"I can only imagine," Luna commented idly.

"I've tried to join them sometimes," Clover started with a scowl, "But my magic reserves are just too small to reach either of the orbs."

"...Would you like some help?" Discord offered with a raised eyebrow.

As if on cue, all eyes snapped to him, "You can move the sun and moon?!" Everypony asked in shock.

"Ummm, yes?" Discord answered with a raised eyebrow, "Is it that surprising at this point?"

"Is there anything you can't do?" Luna asked curiously.

"I plead ignorance," Discord answered with a shrug, making Luna blink.

"Wait, wait," Celestia called with a scowl, "If you're older than us and can move them, why haven't you before now?"

"Older than us?" Starswirl asked in surprise.

"She means herself and Lady Luna," Clover explained, realizing this hadn't been mentioned yet, "He's immortal."

Starswirl gaped a bit at that as Discord answered, "I did a few times in the past, but you ponies seemed to have been handling that decently these centuries," Discord elaborated with a shrug.

"I feel just a bit invalidated now," Starswirl commented evenly, before sighing and smiling, "Still, yes, my fellow mages and I would deeply appreciate the assistance, Lord Discord."

"Swirls, Alicorns excluded, if there's one pony I want to be informal with me, it is _**you**_ ," Discord informed with a grin, "Our personalities have too much fun to be tied down by such flimsy conventions."

Starswirl laughed heartily at that, "V-very well, Discord! Follow me, I'll lead you to the others," Starswirl offered with a grin of his own.

"Oh, that won't be needed," Discord assured with a mysterious smile.

"Hmm, what do you mean?" Starswirl asked curiously.

"Ummm, ponies?" Luna called in disbelief, staring up at the sky, "Look up!"

The equines all turned their gaze skyward. Their jaws dropped as they saw the sun moving at a very steady pace toward the horizon. They looked back at Discord and saw him tilt his head, as if asking them why they were staring. There was no extra movement, no detectable magic, and no apparent effort to...whatever he was doing. They watched as the orb of burning light vanished under the distant horizon, bathing the world into darkness and starlight.

"...How much?" Clover asked numbly, "How much power can one being possess...?"

"Hmm, that's odd," Discord mused in mock confusion as he stood upright on the ground, ignoring Clover and the stares he was getting, "The moon seems to be rather sneaky tonight. I wonder where it went off to?" He asked rhetorically.

"You...you lost the moon?" Celestia asked absently, still trying to process what she just saw.

"Oh, not lost, just misplaced a bit," Discord retorted with a grin as he paced around a bit before looking at Luna curiously, "Why, Luna! What's _that_ in your ear?" He asked in astonishment.

"My...my ear?" She asked in surprise as Discord reached for her ear and pulled out...

"Well, I'll be! It's the **moon**!" Discord declared in mock surprise as he held the shrunk satellite in his lion paw, glowing in all its crater-dotted glory. Luna, closest to him, stared at the moon with awe and wonder...until Discord threw it into the air like a Frisbee, landing home among the stars, "There, right where its supposed to be," He said with a small grin as he turned back to them, still gawking at him, "...Too much?" He asked curiously.

"You...that...I...this...we...those...," Clover tried to force out, " **GRRRRR,** _What Are You?!"_ She yelled loudly into the now-night sky, echoing throughout the area and scaring a few birds.

Discord actually looked a bit surprised by that outburst, but before he could respond, Starswirl beat him to the punch, "Well, I think it's obvious now what he is, Clover," He answered slowly.

"Really? Please, Master, do share?" Clover requested, all but pleaded.

"Well, obviously, he is a god," Starswirl answered bluntly and honestly.

Clover made a strangling noise before face-hoofing with both hooves and flopping backwards with a defeated sound.

"...Does the idea of giving him virgin mares still sound like a joke, Sister?" Luna asked slowly.

"No, Luna, but I still loathe that you suggested it," Celestia answered, much the same.

"Wait, what about virgin mares!?" Starswirl asked in shock.

"That was YOUR idea?!" Clover asked in disbelief as she sprung back to her feet.

Luna smiled sheepishly at that while Discord looked curiously to Celestia, "That wasn't obvious?" He asked with a head tilt.

"That you're basically a god?" Celestia repeated with a raised eyebrow, "Up until now, you were just an extremely powerful magical entity. When you can do stuff like toss around the sun and moon without effort? Yeah, denying you're a god at that point becomes fruitless," She explained.

 _'I'll remember that, Celly,'_ Discord privately archived, "...Does that bother you?"

"No, but it...takes a little bit to soak in," Celestia answered, shaking her head briefly, "I'm friends with a _**god**_."

"Would it make you more comfortable if I call you a goddess?" He asked with a cheesy smile.

And thus, Celestia's cheeks went as pink as her hair.

"Well, at least we know you won't have any issue charming and seducing your sacrifices," Luna quipped teasingly, her sister blushing more to the delight of her and Discord.

Clover stared flatly at the " _Guardians of Ponykind_ " before leaning over to Starswirl, "I'll recommend just giving them to him at the next meeting," She whispered.

"Don't get your hopes up," Starswirl retorted in slight amusement, eyeing Discord curiously.

"Aww, and here I was thinking about charming you first, Clever mare," Discord whispered into Clover's ear, making her tense up with wide eyes...

"Hey, hey, hey!" Starswirl said, teleporting Clover to his other side, "God or not, you have to go through _**me**_ before you can lay a claw on her," He informed with a glare.

Discord stared at him before reaching out with his eagle talon, phasing right through Starswirl and poked a bewildered Clover on the nose, "Boop."

Starswirl stared at the Draconequus as he retracted his claw, before face-hoofing.

"Welcome to my life as of the past seven hours," Celestia commented with a smirk.

 **End of Chapter:**

Surprise! New chapter already! Now, I just want take this moment to thank all of you, including my beta, **DragWiz91** , who also added in a few bits- including the ego retort from Luna. Anyway, thanks to you all, this fic is now in the **triple digits**! In fact, it was at **330th** at one point, but flew back down to the **700s** with the third down vote.

Either way, I'm still overjoyed with the amount of love this fic has received.

So, yes, Discord has met Starswirl and very much proven that he's a god. Take this literally or in comparison as you desire- personally, I took/meant it literally. Remember, at this point, it has taken six of the best unicorns to raise and lower the sun and moon, and that's still not easy. Discord doing it like nothing is magical herculean in their eyes.

Still, as seen by the ending, their acknowledgement of Discord's "divinity" doesn't change much in terms of attitudes for these individuals, but the rest of ponykind is another story.

That's about it, hope you all enjoy the quick update, next chapter we'll get back to the tribes and possibly some OC players that, yes, have to appear.

 **Review Responses:**

 **FlamingFoxNinja** \- Well, it WAS her idea.

 **UnsanMusho** \- Be happy once more! And trust me, there will be plenty to come in those regards.

 **ShiningShadow1965** \- Virgin Mare Ceremony...I'm not sure WHAT I'm imagining, just that its making me grin.

 **Fox Boss** \- If it wasn't funny, it probably wouldn't be Discord.

 **Reishin Amara** \- And the wizard will fall on the new trope, "Discord Did It!" And true, there is a thought about them.

 **MinarMaster** \- ...Like a good natured/friendly version of a dark(not evil) Discord?

 **nightmaster000** \- I think so too. And you are right, this will throw interesting curves at the villains. And yes, the dazzlings are a bit up in the air right now

 **The Keeper of Worlds** \- We're assuming he's planning much of this at all. XP But yeah, Tirek best stay home. His brother might be more welcomed though.


	4. She's In? Asterordo: Unemployed

Discord's Rewrite

I don't own MLP

Summary: Thanks to Starlight's spell, Discord sends himself a present, two thousand years in the past: his future memories. This timeline will witness Discord, the Benign-Chaos, aiding the young princesses. Still, the ponies are going to have to learn to live with a bit more Chaos in their lives. Oh well, builds character.

Regular Speak

 _Thoughts and Flashbacks_

 **Demonic or Animalistic Speak**

 _ **Demonic or Animalistic Thoughts**_

Beta: Dragon Wizard 91

"So...a god?" Clover repeated with an exasperated scowl as they sat around the magenta camp fire, courtesy of Discord, "How, exactly, am I supposed to rationalize that?"

"I'm sorry; do I come off as an entity of rationality?" Discord asked in mock surprise, "If so, I _**do**_ apologize. I try hard not to false advertise."

"Clover, have you even bothered to ask _how_ his magic works?" Starswirl asked with a raised eyebrow.

Silence and smirks all around.

"In fairness, neither did we," Celestia added in with a shrug.

"We still don't understand how we're immortal and everything," Luna elaborated while eating what she didn't know to be called a marshmallow, "So it doesn't bother us as much," She mumbled out past the confection.

"It doesn't **bother** you that he defies all known rules of magic?" Clover reiterated in annoyance.

"Nope," Luna, Celestia and Starswirl all answered in sync.

Clover's eyebrow started twitching at that, "You know-"

" _STARSWIRL_! GET OUT HERE NOW!" A voice yelled urgently, followed by the trampling of many hooves, "SOMETHING HAPPENED WITH THE SUN AND MO-OH **SARD**!"

Save Clover, no one else was particularly alarmed by the outburst. But they were amused by the stallion toppling over Clover when he galloped into the camp, four other unicorns frozen with wide eyes not far behind him.

"Was wondering when they'd get here," Starswirl murmured as he drank from a bowl of chocolate milk.

"Oh...Hi, Clover," The dirty orange coated and white maned stallion greeted sheepishly, their noses almost touching.

"Copper, get off me," Clover said flatly.

"Sorry, sorry!" Coppercode apologized as he quickly helped her up and awkwardly dusted her off.

"That normal?" Discord asked offhoofedly, using chopsticks to eat something he only referred to as 'The forsaken Mexicolt child of Ramen and Gummy Worms,' whatever that meant.

"Is Celestia uptight?" Starswirl answered pointedly. Celestia chose not to dignify that with a response…or try the black and orange "salad" Discord had given her. Mostly because she was sure something was moving in it.

"I'd say she's just a tad... _grim_ ," Discord said with a smirk at the mare, enjoying his inside joke.

"...Discord, you got the right voice there, but that's not a line to try and seduce a lady with," Starswirl informed with a raised eyebrow.

"Oh, right, **STARSWIRL**!" Coppercode yelled, suddenly remembering why he was here, rushing over to the elder mage, who calmly put his empty bowl down, "Starswirl, the sun went down on its own! And the moon just... _ **popped**_ right into the sky! Did you do that?! Did the Guardians!? Did-rmrmmrhrm!" he asked rapidly in alarm, only for Starswirl's hooves to physically jam his mouth shut. The bearded stallion said nothing, but smirked as he slowly turned Coppercode's head to the only non-pony in the group.

"Yo," Discord greeted with a peace sign. He cocked an eyebrow as he looked at the group, looking back into his relatively-ancient memories of the original time line, _'Asterordo, the colt-band name Starswirl gave this merry band when he formed it to help him keep the day and night cycle pedaling on. Thanks partially to me, partially to Nightmare Moon, the aftermaths of both and partially to everything else these five mostly ended up forgotten last time around. Of the near hundred unicorns from across the lands that volunteered to aide Horn-Hat the Swirly, these were the six picked from the twenty-some that had the skill and power to actually be of any help.'_

"...Somepony want to explain why there is a giant whatever-it-is in our camp?" A mare asked for the new arrivals.

Starswirl chuckled at that, "Unicorns of Asterordo, meet Discord the Draconequus. He's an Immortal, the ruler of these lands, much crazier than me, the one who dealt with the sun and moon for us tonight...oh, and he apparently is the local god around here," He explained nonchalantly, before going back to his chocolate milk.

Stunned silence, and face-hoofing from Celestia and Clover.

"Not going to lord it up?" Luna asked curiously, tilting her head.

"No, we're just going to calmly sit here and watch the fireworks of their freak-out," Discord answered with a small smirk as he slurped his saucy, gummy, noodles and mentally went over who these ponies were.

 _'Silkdial: Originally Silk Dialect, but shortened it after joining this motley crew- not an uncommon practice, really, ponies slightly modifying their names to fit their occupations. She is a grey mare with a very dark red mane suffering from microcornus, a birth defect that gives her a very tiny horn but has no significant effect on her ability to use magic. She originally only tried to join for the reactions of an "earth pony" trying to be part of a unicorn group and was completely stunned by getting accepted. Starswirl was soooo happy when he found out she was powerful enough to keep on with the others. Dies from a bad pie at an eating contest a year after I was turned to stone. Though, she still won, to my eternal amusement. Cutie Mark:...It's a yellow ball. Easily top ten vaguest marks I've ever seen.'_

"You...had me up until the "god" part," She commented with wide eyes as they slowly wrapped their head around all of that.

 _'Nodus "_ _ **Azimuth**_ _" Style: Who are we kidding? This stallion was born and named for this job. Bears a strange resemblance to Time Turner, AKA Doctor Whooves, but with a bit of grey to his coat and a lighter mane. Starswirl took one look at this pony and hired him on the spot. Currently in the process of ironing out a spell for long range, instant communication- note to self, make sure that spell doesn't get lost this timeline. Cutie Mark: Do I really need to say it? It's a bucking sun dial!...At four o'clock, for some reason.'_

The brown stallion snorted at that, "Speak for yourself, Silk. The god part I get, but crazier than Starswirl? Is that even Equus still?" he answered with a small smirk, despite his confusion

 _'Count Lumen: Last member of a noble unicorn house that has lost all of its wealth and influence, but is still held in somewhat high regard by unicorns, nobles and commoners alike, due to past actions. White coat, short striped mane of dark golden and sunny yellow, wears a red coat of rare Evergraze cotton. You can just smell the "nobility" coming off this one when he walks in. He became a member of this astromagic club purely just to be of help. I spoke too soon, you can smell the altruism too- though, both smell like pickles. He goes off into retirement and winds up as the inspiration for many ponytales. This gentlecolt has the esteem of having the grand and majestic oil lantern as a cutie mark.'_

"Well, the Guardians certainly have not spoken out against...any of that," Lumen pointed out, carefully and diplomatically, stroking his chin, "I do not think they would joke about something this serious..."

 _'Lily Frost: The youngster of the group and very much Twilight's equal in raw power. Her snow white coat and soft green mane with icy blue strips fit her name all too well, predictably enough. Also gained her cutie mark before her first word, said mark being- you guessed it- a frozen lily. Ancestor of Twilight's Canterlot friend, Minuette, discovered the island between Equestria and Griffinstone and founded Tigguo Coltbuck, which would eventually be renamed Trottingham.'_

"I think they would joke about it, Lumy, but you're right, I don't think they'd let a lie like that go,"" The young mare commented with a grin at the Alicorns, which Luna returned.

 _'Coppercode: Named so for his coat with -code likely added on off the top of his parents heads to feign originality. Curiously, he's a direct ancestor of Twilight Sparkle, but he lacks her "need to understand" issue and merely desires to know what caused something rather than why. Joined up after losing a drunken bet and went on to create spells for identifying metals and co-create a long-lasting anti-rust charm. I wonder how long I'm going to be triggering his bipolar personality until he gets used to me? Cutie Mark: A gushing melting metal furnace.'_

"Oh? Okay than. I'm Coppercode, nice to meet you," The brown-orange colt greeted with a smile.

"Just like that?! None of that even phases you!?" Clover exclaimed in frustration and disbelif.

 _'And of course, their leader…Starswirl: The Legend himself. Originally named Stars Whirl, but came to accept Starswirl as his name after it became well known. Long time yet mysterious friend and advisor to Celestia and Luna before and at the beginning of their reign. While never able to take me on himself, this coot always seemed to know more than he should. Unknown, unpredictable and many other things I like. Not even "I" am really sure what ultimately happened to him...but I'm fairly sure he found out about the Tree of Harmony before Lulu and Celly did, somehow.'_

The elder mage laughed heartily as Copper shrugged in response to Clover's outburst, "You're bucking at the barricade, Clever! Code couldn't be bothered with details like that if his flanks were on fire!"

"He'd be more worried about why they were on fire than the fire itself," Celestia quipped good naturedly.

Coppercode pouted at that, "Now that's just taking it a bit too far," he protested with a huff.

"...Discord, don't even think about it," Celestia warned, glaring at the tent nearest Copper, an eagle claw sticking out of it. Everypony turned and blinked as Discord's claw shot back in, a _'shclurp_!' sound erupting as it did. They turned and saw him, still sitting where he had been, grinning and waving his talons at them.

 _'They're no Elements of Harmony like Fluttershy and company, but an interesting enough group nonetheless,'_ Discord mentally summarized to himself.

"I'm still not convinced you're a god," Silk refuted with a raised eyebrow at him.

"I said the same thing about ponies being sentient for the longest time," Discord retorted with a shrug.

"What? That is a horrible claim to make!" Lumen accused with a scowl.

"How long ago was that?" Luna asked in interest.

"Oh, about...ten, twenty thousand years ago? It was whenever Boar-Lions and Scorpion-Dragons were still a thing," Discord answered thoughtfully.

"Hahahah!...Oh shit, you're serious," Starswirl said in surprise.

"Occasionally, if only to keep you all on your hoof tips," Discord answered with a smirk, twirling his chopsticks on a probably impossibly long worm…one which seemed to now be crawling up his arm as he twirled his utensil.

If Celestia had been eating or drinking, she would have spat it out. As it was, she sputtered for a moment, "...Sacred sard, we are infants to you," she realized in shock.

"Celly, I'm not a foalphile," He retorted bluntly, pointing a talon at her.

"You're pulling our horns," Coppercode denied with a grin, "There's no way you're **that** old."

"What part of immortal are they not understanding?" Discord asked with a raised eyebrow, "Should we change it to Unmortal or something else more blunt? Or should I just use the word Eternal?"

"Don't look at me, I just work with these heretics," Azimuth responded with a sly smirk.

"Don't worry, I don't judge by association," Discord assured cheekily, pointing a chop stick at him…the same one with the worm, which was now changing colors rapidly, red to green to hot pink…

"You five can debate his godhood all you want," Starswirl interrupted sharply, "But the tribes already more or less acknowledged him as the ruler of these lands and are negotiating with him," He pointed out with a smirk, "So keep that in mind."

"...Okay, he's the king here," Silkdial admitted with a shrug, "And he can raise the sun and moon, which is impressive. He's immortal, even more impressive. But I'm not seeing any proof of divinity yet."

"He got on Commander Hurricane's good side," Starswirl informed bluntly.

"...Nice to meet you, your holiness," Coppercode greeted with a smile, sticking his hoof out.

"It involved Private Pansy spitting all over Princess Platinum," Luna added in wickedly.

"I reserve judgment for after I have inquired with the Commander on that story," Count Lumen answered calmly.

"I'm with the Count," Silkdial answered, trying and failing to imagine that scene.

"...Discord, can I borrow the sun?" Celestia asked blankly.

"Wait, _**WHAT**_?!" Everypony else asked in shock, even her sister.

"Hit the deck!" Nodus yelled, jumping into his tent.

"Sure thing, Princess," Discord answered cheerfully as he pushed the chopstick deep into the bowl, sticking his whole arm into it, before plucking out a roaring ball of burning light that lit up the camp light like day.

"...I was expecting a bit more," Copper commented cautiously as Luna peaked from over the log she was hiding behind.

"Are we dead? Are we burned to less than ash yet?...Are we fireproof?" Nodus asked as he reemerged from his tent, shoving off a colorful scarf back into it, "Oh thank buck, he contained it."

Discord rolled his eyes, which kept spinning as he tossed the sun up and caught it with his blue feather tips, "Ponies, who the buck do you think I am?" He asked pridefully, putting on a pair of shades to sell it while his bat and bird wings tossed the orb between their farthest tips...and eventually began playing keep away from his tail, "Even at that size, it'd still blind and charbroil most of the world if I wasn't holding most of its power behind a sphere of magic."

"Oh, that makes sense," Starswirl decided idly, checking his pulse just to make sure he hadn't died of a heart attack without realizing it.

"You Mean We Have A _**Fire Ball Of Death**_ Here?!" Clover exclaimed in fear and shock.

"Oh, sard, you're right!" Discord exclaimed in shock.

"Wait, I am?" Clover asked, surprised he was taking her concerns seriously.

"No, he is!" Discord corrected, pointing to a blinking Starswirl, who stared back at his lion finger, "You see what you ponies do to me!? I'm supposed to be _**NON**_ sense! Stop making me make sense!" He yelled

"Then stop making us make no sense!" Lily Frost yelled with a grin.

"Fair enough," Discord granted begrudgingly, "Hey, Celestia, you still want this?" He asked over his shoulder, waving his tail tip with the sun nestled in it.

"No, no, I think we made our point," Celestia answered in amusement.

To that, Discord shrugged and ate the sun whole, "Tastes like peppers…or maybe Siracha…"

At this point, Coppercode noticed that Clover's eye twitch was turning into a full blown seizure.

"Celestia pulling a prank?" Lily Frost mused with a smirk as she sauntered up to Discord, "Now you're definitely a god. It takes divine work to get her loosened up," She joked.

"Really? All I had to do was offer her cake," Discord asked in mock surprise as he floated off the ground effortlessly.

"...Okay, I'll admit, that is cool," Copper admitted as the serpentine being floated on his back, doing a backstroke through the air.

"Discord, you threw cake at me. With a catapult," Celestia reminded evenly.

"Offer, assault. Potato, tomato. Albino, cappuccino," Discord responded dismissively, waving his talons back and forth.

"Discord, slumlord, whipcord, smorgasbord," Starswirl listed off smugly.

"A player that can keep up," Discord mused, stroking his beard in interest with his tail while continuing his mid-air swim, "I feared they all went extinct."

"Aren't you supposed to be the one worrying about Discord being a bad influence on me, Sister?" Luna asked with a raised eyebrow, sitting next to her sister, "Because currently I'm worried about that with you."

"On you? Luna, I'm more worried about you being a bad influence on him," Celestia countered plainly, giving her sister an accusing look, eliciting a pouting glare.

"Count Lumen?" Nodus asked with a small smile as he watched the Immortals.

"Yes, Nodus?" Lumen answered, having a good idea where this was going.

"Have you ever seen them this happy and relaxed before?" The brown unicorn asked curiously.

"...The Guardians do seem to be in cheerful moods," the count agreed with a smile of his own.

"I wasn't talking about just them," Azimuth informed, nodding towards an amused Starswirl the Bearded, sitting and leaning back in a strangely bipedal-like positioning.

 _ **"WEEEWOO! WEEWOO! WEEWOO!**_ **DANGER, DANGER WILL DISCORDSON!"**

"What the actual sard is that?" Silk asked in alarm as Discord pulled a pocket watch out of a pocket that shouldn't exist in his fur.

"Your name is Will?" Celestia asked with a raised eyebrow.

"No, no, it's a joke," Discord answered, distracted, waving her off as he stared at the watch. If anypony saw it, they'd noticed it had five hands, the numbers were all out of place and the hands spun around and stopped at seemingly random points, "Oh, yippee, something pissed off an Ursa Major again," he muttered in annoyance, "I'll be back later. Celly, Lulu, I'll see you in the morning. Horn-Hat, ponies I still need nicknames for? It was nice meeting me," He bided farewell with a smug grin before vanishing with a duck's quack.

"...Celly and Lulu?" Silkdial repeated with a knowing look.

"When's the wedding?" Lily teased, getting glaring blushes for her remark.

"Don't you mean the sacrifice ceremony?" Clover corrected in annoyance.

"Huh?" The entirety of Asterordo, sans Starswirl asked in confusion.

"Luna promoted to our new _glorious_ **overlord** the _**wonderful**_ idea of asking for _virgin mares_ _ **sacrifices**_ as part of the negotiation," Starswirl informed with an eye roll and heavy sarcasm.

"Milady, I didn't know you had it in you," Lily praised with a giggle.

"...Why Would You Do That?" Coppercode asked slowly, and alarmed.

Luna shrugged, "The tribes were technically trespassing, he was being very nice about it all and he called off the Strangeness," She listed offhoofedly.

"...Wait, what do mean "called off" the Strangeness?" Count Lumen asked with a head tilt.

The Alicorn duo and master-apprentice duo all blinked before face hoofing, "I knew we forgot something," Clover murmured.

"In fairness, we've told this story three or four times now in less than a day," Celestia pointed out with a sigh.

"The Strangeness was caused, controlled and stopped by Discord's power," Luna explained bluntly.

"...Next time you want to prove he's a god? Lead with that," Nodus suggested blankly.

"Also, about the mare sacrifice thing?" Lily asked slyly, "Do they **have** to be virgins?"

Luna looked thoughtful at that, "Well, no, Discord said that was more of suggestion than-"

"Wait, why?" Celestia asked suspiciously, narrowing her eyes at the mare.

"I'm in," Lily declared with a raised hoof.

"...What?" everypony asked numbly.

"I'm in," Lily repeated with a wide smile.

"For being a mare sacrifice to...whatever he said he was?" Sundial asked skeptically.

"Umm, let's see, do I want to be sarded, _repeatedly_ , by a **god**?" Lily asked in mock consideration before staring at the elder mare flatly, "Yes, very much so."

"Are you even sure it would work, you know him putting his...you know, in you?" Coppercode asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Copper, he shrunk the sun down to grape size and **ate** it. I'm pretty sure he can change his dick or my cunt," Lily pointed out.

"...You're crazy, you know that?" Clover asked in disbelief

"Why? Because I'm attracted to the most powerful male I've ever met?" Lily asked with a smirk, "Why do you think I joined this group to begin with?"

Nobody commented about Starswirl going wide eyed and stiff at that confession.

" _Oooooo_ kay then. Assuming Discord goes for her, we officially got a voluntary sacrifice," Luna summarized, still surprised, before looking to her sister, "I...legitimately have no idea what to do now."

"...Sard it all," Celestia grumbled as she got up and trotted to a tent, "I'm going to sleep. If anypony wakes me up, I will drop you in a lake from above cloud level," She warned tiredly, deciding to just give up on the day. Luna looked between the unicorn and the tent her sister went into before trotting after her, somewhat awkwardly.

"So, Starswirl? What's the plan now?" Nodus asked curiously.

The mage yawned and stretched, "Well, I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm going to move back in with the rest of ponykind and watch this madness unfold," He explained contently.

"Huh...I just realized we're pretty much out of a job," Coppercode realized.

" _ **THAT**_ is what you're concerned about?" Clover asked with an annoyed scowl, "Not the mare sacrifices? Not the supposedly omnipotent ruler we have to live under now? None of that bothers you?!"

"A colt's got to eat, Clove," Copper reminded, patting his belly.

"Look at it this way, Clover," Azimuth spoke up with a smirk, "With him being so much older than the sisters, why, just imagine all the knowledge in that skull of his," he pointed out temptingly.

A light seemed to go on behind Clover's eyes, "...He might have the very secrets and answers to life as we know it," she finally realized in curious wonder.

"Nodus, stop playing my apprentice like a fiddle!" Starswirl scolded territorially, "That's my job."

"...I am _not_ becoming a mare sacrifice," Silkdial stated flatly.

"So you claim," Lily Frost acknowledged mockingly.

"That said...give me details afterwards?" Silkdial asked, unwillingly curious.

"If my mind isn't reduced to goop from sacred sarding," Lily promised with a smirk.

"...What strange times we live in," Count Lumen summarized, looking up at the moon.

 **End of Chapter**

New chapter! Not quite as fast as the last one, but still fairly quick. Anyway, this scene chapter was kind of a must- Starswirl had a small team of Unicorns that helped him move the sun and moon before Celestia, so it seemed impossible for Discord to meet Starswirl, turn day to night, and not run into this merry band. Hope you liked them all, especially Discord's...fanmare? Potential concubine? Lily Frost.

Next chapter we get back to negoation and other good things.

Now, I would just like to take this moment to thank you all. Discord's Rewrite is now my most popular fimfic far none, andthanks to all of you, it now ranked 120 last I checked.

And get this, its the SEVENTH top Discord Fic here!(Fimfiction) Meaning it might be in the top rated section soon. I...I was not expecting that, ever, to be honest, let alone so quick and soon. Thank you all for your support, interest, and comments. I have plenty more planned for this: Lots of it funny and a bit epic.

Merry Christmas, Happy Heath's Warming, and Happy Holidays everypony!

 **Review Responses** :

 **Deleter** \- Possible, yes, but they might not need the elements if Discord can help it. XP

 **duskrider** \- Good to hear!

 **Hamster22** \- Very possible, yes. And if they were violent, he'd probably deal with them in some way.

 **nightmaster000** \- Thanks. In the comics, Luna compares him to Pinkie Pie.

 **UnsanMusho** \- Well, Luna did say Pinkie reminded her of him a bit. And be happy yet again!

 **ShiningShadow** -I am taking notes for the ceremony. XP Anyway, glad you'reenjoying yourself.

 **The Keeper of Worlds-** Thanks and you'll see. XP

 **coduss** \- Its T until I need it to be M. XP

 **MinarMaster** \- True, and agreed. I've imagined Evil Discord before, even Serious Discord...its terrifying. And Iwasn't confused, jsut making a joke.

 **Redentor** \- Finally! Someone who understands me! Brother, read Reign of Chaos! No, seriously, with a review likethat, you'll probably love it. XP That made my day, seriously.


	5. Harmony Remembers? Canner Pass Miracle

Discord's Rewrite

I don't own MLP

Regular Speak

Thoughts and Flashbacks

Demonic or Animalistic Speak

Demonic or Animalistic Thoughts

 **The Six of Mages, The Ghosts of Winter, The Fires of Friendshi-**

 _"Wait, they're still calling that The Unity Flame right now," Discord murmured to himself as he lazed about on a tree branch while examining the cards floating in front of him, as opposed to the myriad assortment of other cards floating listlessly around him in a cylinder shape, all with a pink and grey-purple checker pattern decorating their backsides._

 _"I really should come up with a better design for these back sides," He mused with a hum, grasping the Fires of Friendship card. It depicted the iconic heart made of bright pink flames that was the bane to all Windigos. He tilted the card back and forth, the name switching back and forth between Fires of Friendship and The Unity Flame. With a shrug of indifference, he settled on_ **The Unity Flame** _ **.**_

 _"I'll change it if they do," he mused, tossing it back among the rest. His ears flickered as he waved his claw dismissively. "Oh nothing, just a little side project for future generations to enjoy," Discord answered, smirking over his shoulder as he took on a playful tone, "Really, you didn't need to get an Ursa riled up to have a chat with little old me, Harms."_

 _Should it have been mentioned that this branch was connected to a certain tree in a specific cave in a forest named Everfree?_

 _"What, I've been busy!" He defended with a grin at the "silent" tree, floating up to poke the center of the star shape on the tree. The tree gave no true sound when it "spoke" yet the more powerful and magically inclined may hear a buzz if they listen carefully. "But I'm sure you're aware of that," He added on playfully._

 _This time Harmony had a visual response, its glow getting a bit brighter, "Yes, yes, I make for an_ _ **amaaaazing**_ _friend," Discord gloated smugly. His face quickly turned into a scowl as the light returned to normal, Discord swirling around the tree before pointing a Twicane at it dramatically, "And as for you!" Discord declared loudly, only for the head to pop back on the cane and expose a thin treat, "Gum?" He offered to the tree with a grin, whose light dimmed a bit in response, "Suit yourself," He said with a shrug, popping it into his mouth as fudge bubbles seeped from his mouth._

 _Discord rolled his eyes as the bubbles popped simultaneously, the light shifting as if it was focusing on him a bit more._

 _"Yes, I_ have _to do it this way, Harms; A because if I play nice, I still play my way and two because...," Discord stopped midway through of his scolding with a literal screeching halt, looking at the Tree in suspicion, "Wait a minute. Do you...even remember_ ANYTHING _from the original timeline?" Discord asked skeptically._

 _Logically the answer should be no, but the Tree of Harmony wasn't an entity to make assumptions about. After all, the map it created in Twilight's castle had been a central point in Twilight's time-warping battle against Starlight Glimmer. It may be entirely aware of everything Discord had done in the previous timeline, or it might be entirely ignorant..._

"Lord Discord?"

"Hm?" Discord answered with a raised eyebrow as he floated on a cloud of marshmallow. It looked like a completely normal cloud, but that was the joke.

In front of him was Chancellor Puddinghead, standing at the other side of the Meeting Table, still right in the middle of the camp and in front of the tent for the Chancellor, Commander, and Princess were using. Had he made that immobile? Maybe, but that was unimportant either way. While the guards kept most ponies away from the big tent the pony leaders used, some still came close enough to watch him a bit. They were curious, so he'd let them stay curious for now.

"I was just asking where The Guardians were. You did you come to...continue the negotiations, correct?" she asked awkwardly.

"Possibly. Honestly, I'm just here for the welcome party," he answered with a shrug as he held up a tarot card, _'The Cautious Chancellor? The Gluttonous Chancellor?'_ He mentally mused before shrugging as the card multiplied into an entire deck, allowing him to start doing card tricks.

"Welcome party?" Puddinghead asked with a furrowed borrow, "For you...?"

Discord smirked disarmingly, "As flattering as that would be, I meant for the rest of the tribes finally showing up," he explained in amusement as the cards danced from claw to paw, spinning in midair as they did so.

A fun fact that got lost to history was that the tribes arrived in Equestria in three waves: The scouting parties that found the place, the advance group that fought over it until the Windigos were defeated and then the final bulk of the three tribes arrived together as word of peace and co-existence spread back to their still-frozen homelands.

 _'Technically I could defrost those places a bit, but that'll result in more ponies heading back to resist becoming part of Equestria, and likely leave more ponies for Sombra to get his fangs into when he goes on his enslaving trip,'_ Discord mused to himself, keeping the scowl off his face.

"The rest of the tribe? But they're not supposed to arrive for another week!" Puddinghead exclaimed in surprise, getting a raised eyebrow from Discord as he stopped playing with the deck and held it in his paws

"He's right!" Commander Hurricane called as he flew down into the area, "Scouts say they found a large group of ponies approaching, some with wings and others without," He explained with his mouth n a neutral line.

"How on Terrum did they get here so fast?" Puddinghead asked in bewilderment.

Hurricane shook his head, "Even without the snow storms and The Strangeness, it still should have been a three day walk here," he summarized.

Discord looked between the two with a scowl, a strange suspicion growing in his skull, _'Something's not right. I can feel that much. I thought it was just the tribe ponies not getting along yet, but there's something else ahoof here. And I don't like the smell of it,'_ The Draconequus mentally realized, chin in his paw, before speaking aloud, "The question then is what made them run here?"

The two leaders looked at him, the earth pony with surprise before frowning at the thought and the pegasus nodding in agreement, "Would you have known if anything did happen to them?" Puddinghead asked cautiously.

"Any other time, probably, but I was busy yesterday- and I don't mean just with you ponies, for the record," Discord answered idly as he tapped his claw again the wooden table.

Only to blink as he found it wasn't wood. Glancing down, he furrowed his eyebrow at the tarot card that had slipped off the deck, somehow. Slowly, he picked it up and examined it...

"Lord Discord, what's wrong?" Puddinghead asked in alarm as she saw his expression go completely still, his eyes dilating and his lips twitching back in the beginning of a snarl.

He vanished without a sound this time, save for the intense rushing air pushing toward where he had been seating, nearly knocking off Puddinghead's hat and Hurricane's helmet. They looked forward, finding no trace of their host.

Save for a single card on the table, evaporating into blue ashes.

"What just happened?" Puddinghead asked in confusion as Hurricane stepped up to the Meeting Table, looking at the card.

The image was gone, but he saw the title at the bottom just before it too vanished.

"It seems our chimeric overlord came to the same conclusion I did, more or less," Hurricane answered grimly.

Before Puddinghead could inquire into that, a pegasus guard galloped up to them, "Co-commander Hurricane-"

"Arcus has arrived with the tribes in tow and wants to see me," Hurricane guessed, not even looking up until the second time he spoke, "Am I wrong, soldier?"

The pegasus shook off his surprise before nodding, "Yes, Sir! He said there was an incident on the way here."

"I'm sure he did," Hurricane acknowledged under his breath, "Chancellor, get the Brat up and ready. This truce might have just ended."

"...What the sard is going on?" Puddinghead asked to the pegasus guard, who just shrugged in honest confusion.

 **Meanwhile**

"Paaaapa! Paaaapa! Where are you, Papa!?"

The earth colt's desperate cries echoed over the new boarder of the Frozen North, the nigh-windless clear skies leaving nothing to interfere with his call for his father.

The young pony with a soft brown coat stepped through steep snow, engulfing his short legs with every step, "Papa!" He yelled again, looking around the steep bowl-shaped area he was in. With a sniff, he stopped, "Where'd everypony go...?" he asked to no one.

 ***bzzzz***

"Huh?" His ears perked up at the strange humming noise, "That noise again...," He spoke to himself, remembering it before things got...loud.

"UGH! AHH!"

The colt jumped up in shock as he turn around and saw a pony, a stallion, rolling down into the snowy depression and landing ungracefully with a pained gruff. The child hesitated only a moment before galloping to the stranger. He faltered only once, tripping in the snow and rolling forward. He landed on his stomach, snow caught in his fur and blond mane. He snorted, shaking the white powder off before running the rest of the gap, "Mister! Mister, are you o-?"

The colt stopped with wide eyes as he got closer. The stallion was a dark grey pegasus in armor, with a black tail and mane hairs in his helmet, his spear laying nearby.

His parents had always told him to stay away from pegasi and unicorns...but the three tribes had all been traveling together, and the pegasi had been guarding them. It should be alright, right? And besides, he needed help anyway.

"Mister?" he called again as he stepped closer, seeing the stallion breathing deeply.

"What...?" The soldier replied, turning his head with great effort before looking shocked at the sight of the child, "...Hey, kid," He greeted weakly.

"Mister? Are you okay? Can you help me find my father?" the colt asked hopefully.

"What's your name, son?" The stallion asked with a tired smile. He winced, but refused to raise his left wing. If he did, the colt would see the bloody wounds in his wing.

"Herald, sir. Herald Meshen," The colt answered softly, looking at the elder pony in concern.

"I'm Private Gust. S-sorry Meshen, but I'm really beat up here. I don't think I can help you find your father," he apologized, hoping there wasn't any blood dripping out of his mouth.

"Is...is there anything I can do to help?" Meshen asked quietly.

Gust forced a chuckle to hide a cough, "Sorry, but I don't think so. Probably just need a good nap," He feigned assurance. "Go on and-"

 ***BZZZZZZ!***

Meshen's head snapped up, looking about in confusion for the strange noise, while Gust just paled as if he lost a quarter more of his blood, "What is that...?!" Meshen questioned, the buzzing getting louder

"Kid, get over here!" Gust ordered quickly, holding up his good wing.

"What?" the colt asked in alarm and surprise.

"Quick, just get under my wing!" the pegasus urged desperately, looking around in terror.

"Why? What's That Sound?!" Meshen asked skeptically, raising his voice as it got louder and louder

"For Terrum's sake, just-!"

 _*STOMP*STOMP*_

Silence.

Meshen saw the absolute dread and terror in Gust's eyes, looking straight past him. Slowly, hearing the snarling breath behind him, he turned his head left to look behind. His eyes dilated as he took in the large legs of black fur with yellow stripes. He looked up and saw two arms with white fur...then two more arms with black fur again. And all six limbs were adorned with sharp claws. He could faintly see bug-like wings on the back and antennas on the head, but the maw of razor teeth was a bit distracting. To a lesser extent, so were the dark purple-red eyes.

It was like...a big Bee-Bear. A Beear? A Bearbee?

 _*Sniff*Sniff*_

Meshen glanced to the side a bit more.

Two Bearbees.

When did he start crying again?

"Kid, listen to me. Just run. Just run and don't stop running, you hear me?" Gust's hissing voice sounded very far away right then, "Kid, come on, nod or something!"

Why were they waiting? Why didn't they do anything? Were they expecting something?

How long had he been standing the-?

 ***ROAR!***

"MESHEN!"

"PAPA, HELP!"

 _ ***THUMP*THUMP***_

Silence.

Heavy Silence.

Herald Meshen wasn't sure what just happened.

The large predators had roared and made a swipe at him.

The pegasus soldier jumped over him, clutching his spear in one hoof towards their deaths.

And the Bearbees struck...stone?

Meshen slowly lifted his head up, Gust still frozen in disbelief, even as his blood slowly dripped onto the snow. Even the Bearbees looked bewildered by what they were seeing.

Indeed, two thick pillars of stone had appeared between the pairs of duos, side by side, looking as though they had always been there.

As the Bearbees eyed the rockwork suspiciously, Gust's darted left and right as he realized something very, VERY important.

They were not alone with these monsters.

The snow around them had moved to form an odd semi-circle snow pile around Meshen and himself. Against his better judgment, he turned his head around...

The snow had eyes…large, yellow orbs with two red irises of different sizes.

And thus snow became flesh. It didn't fall to one side or melt; it literally faded into fur and scales, among other things…a serpentine body of mismatched parts, from puffy ended snake tail to bat wing to lion's paw.

Meshen must have seen it too or he found another reason to grip onto Gust's hoof now.

But the eyes weren't looking at them. This...creature was laying there and looking at the Bearbees.

With a look of annoyance at that.

"You know, I usually don't resort to physical violence," The voice came; clear as day and sounding shockingly normal.

"Gust, look," Meshen whispered, pointing at the predators.

The soldier did, remembering the main threat here...and didn't know whether to be relieved or shocked that they had backed up with worried expressions on their maws.

"And over a pair of hunters just looking for a meal?" Discord added in, suddenly in front of the pillars, one elbow on each and his chin in his palms, the two hybrids quickly taking guarded steps back from the chimeric god.

Gust quickly looked back at where the creature had been a second ago, only to find not even a trace of him ever being there, not even an impression, "How did he...?"

Meshen was too busy watching on in wide eyed wonder.

"Well, I'm not going to start over something like that," Discord continued with a smirk. As if they understood him, the Bearbees looked confused, "That's what he's for," he finished with a point of his talon.

The insect-mammal crossbreeds actually blinked before they realized that now they were the ones not alone.

With a roar of fright, they found themselves quickly and violently lifted into the air by...snow.

Looking down, they found both of them were in the grip of tentacles made completely of snow, connected to a...giant octopus made entirely of snow.

The two ponies watched dumbstruck as the creature of sentient snow crawled rapidly over to a catapult, which had never been there, before cranking it back and throwing the two beasts into the catapult.

"Now," Discord said, as he appeared with a flash, right in front of the bears, almost nose to nose with them as they withered and whimpered under his stare, "When you get the-"

 ***ROAR!***

Discord stared with an even, displaced look at the Bearbee that swiped at his face, the claws going through his head like water.

The innocent one of the two smartly scooted away from his now terrified companion.

Discord, calmly yet quickly, reached out and squeezed the offending beast's nose, making a loud honking noise...and shrinking him down to be about two or three times the size of a normal bee. The other one gently grasped the shrunken Bearbee in concern before looking up at Discord with a gulp, "Be sure to show him to the rest of your friends when they think about trespassing in _**my**_ territory," Discord warned, his eyes glowing red for a second. With a snap of his fingers, he was standing behind the ponies again, "Let It Rip, Hank!" Discord called to the Arctopus.

"Hank" gave a salute before one of his snowtecles slammed down on the lever, sending the Bearbees flying with overdramatic screams.

Meshen and Gust watched as their would-be predators got farther and farther away before disappearing with a twinkle of light. Slowly, with gaping maws, they looked forward again to their apparent savior.

Discord grinned down at the ponies, stopping a laugh from emerging as Gust dropped his spear in numb amazement, "Awwwwesome," Meshen whispered with wide eyed wonder.

"Discord, actually, kiddo," said Discord, suddenly where the spear had been, making Gust jump in shock and fright.

"Wa- **OWOWOWOW!** _ **SARDING OW!**_ " Gust exclaimed as he instinctively unfurled his wings, agitating his wounds and rekindling the pain. The soldier nearly fell over between that and the surprise

"Gust!" Meshen yelled in concern, seeing the pegasus's face contort in pain, "You're bleeding...," He realized uneasily, noticing the blood for the first time.

"Looks like he's been doing that a lot," Discord commented, wearing a doctor's jacket, stethoscope, and holding a clipboard as he adjusted his glasses, "Normally I'd suggest a bit of chaos magic to make it right as rain, but they'll have to wait for another time," Discord mused _professionally_ before the getup disappeared with a flash of light.

"Please, sir, can you help him?" Meshen asked, hopeful and meek, convinced at least that this being wasn't going to eat them.

"I can do a bit more than help," Discord countered with just a touch of smugness.

Gust eyed the creature oddly, "What... are you?" he asked in strained suspicion.

"Its always what and who. I'm also a how, sometimes a when and the nightmare of any and all whys. Don't think I've ever been a where though," Discord answered with a chuckle as he pulled his blue horn off with a pop, to both of their disbelief. He turned it upside down and held it down to the stallion's face level, revealing a green liquid with blue spots, "If you don't want to keep decorating the snow, I'd drink that," Discord strongly suggested.

Gust eyed the horn-cup skeptically, but figuring he had little to lose, he grasped it with one hoof and took a cautious sip. The pony stopped, blinked, and gulped down the rest in one go, "...Why does it taste like cherries?" He couldn't help but ask as a numbing relief buzzed through him.

"Lucky, I always taste swamp water." Discord mock pouted with his arms crossed.

"...Thank you," Gust said after a moment as he stood back up, "Is there any chance your...friend over there could help us? There are a lot more ponies under the snow," Gust asked grimly as he glanced over at the Arctopus…which was currently tearing apart and eating the catapult with vigor.

"...The snow monster eats wood?" Meshen asked slowly.

"It's made of chocolate now," Discord informed offhoofedly before grinning, "And I have a better idea!"

 **Meanwhile**

"So...that's your story, Lieutenant Arcus?" Commander Hurricane asked evenly in a private tent they were borrowing from a few pegasi guards.

Lieutenant Arcus was not a pretty sight for most ponies to look at. He was a light blue stallion, as large as Hurricane himself, but the entire left side of his face and neck was littered with scars with the rest of his body having a few as well. The scars had been accumulated from a long life in service to the tribe, much like how his armor was dented and scratched until it needed to be replaced when it started to become useless. He refused to hide them, be it by eye patch or using his steel-grey mane, wearing them like a badge of honor. That, if nothing else, was one thing Hurricane respected about him.

If only there was much else for him to consider respecting.

"It's what happened, Commander," Arcus answered in a cold tone, his face expressionless.

"The tribes were marching, together, down Canner Pass," Hurricane started off, slowly pacing back and forth before the lieutenant.

"Everything was fine for the first day. Between the lack of...strangeness and the snow thinning without the Windigos around, we were covering twice as much distance than we originally expected," Arcus narrated, staring straight ahead.

"Yes, yes, then part of the herds got blocked off by an avalanche," Hurricane filled in, "And you say you were chased off by a swarm of...flying bears?" Hurricane asked with some skepticism.

"Bugbears, sir. Four arms, bee stinger, bug wings," Arcus described, "The others will vouch for it, Sir."

"I'm sure they will," Hurricane agreed vaguely before turning sharply to stare into the stallion's one good eye, "So, just like that, you left behind a good fourth of the " _entire_ " group you set out with?" He demanded with a glare, mentally adding, _'Which was almost entirely unicorns and earth ponies.'_

"Commander, as I said, we stayed and fought until noise triggered another snow-slide. I couldn't see any that were spared the cold burial, so I made a judgment call and pulled everypony out. I believed that any survivors would either be dead by the time we could get to them or killed by the bugbears before we could fend them all off," Arcus argued, his voice almost gaining a bit of heat before he finished.

Hurricane stared at him for a long moment before snorting, "For your sake, I hope that story holds up. Platinum and Puddinghead are both ready to cry foul play on our part," Hurricane warned ominously as he backed off.

Now Arcus raised an eyebrow at that, "So...this "uniting the tribes" thing is true?" he asked with a scowl.

Hurricane snorted as he leveled a glare at his next in command, "While not the biggest fan of the other races myself, I'll be bucked if we go down in history as the ones destroyed the first real sign of peace and co-existence for all ponykind," He stated bluntly, "Do I make myself clear, Arcus?"

"Like the Crystal Empire, Commander Hurricane," Arcus saluted, face like stone, betraying not a thing.

"Good. As you were soldier," Hurricane dismissed evenly.

Both eyebrows went up at that, but Arcus nodded all the same, "Thank you, sir," he acknowledged before turning to leave the tent...

And got knocked to the ground from a hoof to his face's blindside.

The lieutenant growled low in his throat as he leapt to his hooves, "What the sard do you thi-" He yelled, the words dying in the throat as he stared incomprehensively at the offending pony.

Private Gust glared right into his superior's face, " **Flank**! _Hole_!" He yelled in anger.

"But...you...how...?" Arcus stuttered, his form rigid as he looked at a pegasus he knew should be dead. By the wounds on side, Arcus was ready to believe this was the ghost of a fallen comrade.

"Soldier," Hurricane spoke up from behind Arcus, who refused to move still, "Do you have something to report?"

Gust saluted, now ignoring the pony he just attacked, "Commander Hurricane, Private Gust reporting in. The remainders of the tribes have arrived after a...delay," He explained, sending Arcus a seething glare.

Arcus's eyes dilated as he glanced around the camp. Only now did he see all the ponies having cheerful and teary reunions, of wounds being tended to…and several pegasi soldiers glaring at him. Pegasi that, much like Gust, should be dead.

"Why are you reporting in, Private, instead of an officer?" Hurricane asked calmly.

It almost sounded to Arcus like the commander had expected this, had known this would happen. But that had to be just paranoia, right?

"The officers that were conscious and mostly uninjured agreed that I should be the one to do so since I am the only clear witness to what happened after the avalanche," Gust explained carefully.

"I see. Still, I'm glad to see you're all alive, Private," Hurricane noted with some relief, "Your full report can wait. For now, all I want to know is how many casualties and how you all survived?"

"Sir, there were no casualties from the initial avalanche, but we lost twenty-three when the Bearbees attacked. I don't have the exact ratio of deaths between the tribes at the moment, but a third was our soldiers," Gust explained with a scowl, "As for the second, larger avalanche?...Two."

"What?" Arcus asked in disbelief, seemingly snapping out of his trance to glare at the private.

"Only two, soldier?" Hurricane repeated with a raised eyebrow.

"One elderly unicorn died of a broken neck and a pegasus mare was stabbed by a piece of wood and bled out," Gust elaborated with a small smirk, "All of the rest managed to be saved and tended to before they could freeze or suffocate."

"...Seems rather strange, being able to pull that miracle off, Private," Hurricane stated with a knowing smirk.

"VERY strange, Commander," Gust agreed with a nod.

"I think I understand then. You are dismissed for now, Private. I'll get a full report from you and the officers later. For now, get those bucking wounds treated," Hurricane dismissed with a nod.

"Sir!" Gust saluted against before heading off, Arcus watching him go with a disturbed look.

"...Would you like to explain?" Hurricane asked evenly.

"I...I don't understand how they're alive and here, Commander," Arcus answered, trying to keep his calm.

 _ **"Ohh, but he wasn't talking to you."**_

Arcus felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand straight up as he sucked in a breath of shock.

He spun around and stared into the red eyes of a monster.

"You look like you've seen a ghost, _**Lieutenant Rolls Arcus,"**_ The snaggle-toothed mouth mocked with a coy smirk.

"Who...what are you!?' Arcus yelled, glaring to hide his momentary fear.

"I'm _complicated_ ," Discord answered with a smirk.

"Lord Discord, do refrain from intimidating my soldiers," Hurricane ordered before smirking lightly, "That's my job."

Discord chuckled as he floated over to Hurricane with his arms crossed, "Just giving him a...proper greeting for a pony of his character," He assured with an undertone of mocking.

"Commander, you know this...beast?!" Arcus asked in shock.

"Beast? Do you see a magic rose anywhere?" Discord asked with a raised eyebrow.

"What?" Arcus asked in confusion.

"Again, yes, I am a What," Discord said with an overdramatic sigh, "Most ponies only want the what these decades."

"Lieutenant, this is Lord Discord, a resident of these lands," Hurricane introduced calmly, "I suppose we have you to thank for saving those rest of our tribes?" He asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Saved them...him?" Arcus questioned in confusion, still trying to process this creature and Hurricane's apparent acceptance of his presence.

"Oh, not just me. Meshen held the tanning board," Discord explained casually.

"I'm going to assume that makes sense to you," Hurricane decided wisely, "Unless you have anything new to add, Lieutenant, we'll be on our way."

"Sir?" Arcus asked numbly.

"Your boss and I have to go smooth over things with the other two tribes," Discord informed with an eye smile, devoid of all sincerity, "After all, if I didn't know any better, it almost seemed like somepony wanted a tragedy to befall that mostly-earth-ponies-and-unicorns group. Like somepony planned the avalanche and pulled the winged soldiers out a bit too quickly? Somepony with a grudge against unicorns, perhaps?"

Arcus's eyes only barely widened as he forced his body not to shake.

"Of course, we don't want that," Discord added on, his empty smile now just mocking, "Right, Hot?"

Hurricane openly glared at the Draconequus for that one, "If you know my full name, you know I hate being called that," He said in annoyance before walking off, a snickering Discord trailing after him.

"...What has happened in these lands?" Arcus asked with a heavy scowl as he watched his commander leave with the abomination, detesting how that thing shook him so easily.

Hurricane lowered his voice as they got out of Arcus's earshot, _"The Ugly Lieutenant?"_ He questioned pointedly.

"Was the card too on the snout?" Discord asked with a grin.

"How did you know about my lieutenant before meeting him?" Hurricane asked suspiciously.

"Ask Celly and Lulu, they'll have a good idea," the chimeric god answered dismissively, "...If you don't deal with him, I'll have to."

If Hurricane was at all intimidated by that, it didn't show, "I'm counting on that," He answered coldly.

Discord hummed, glancing back at the distant stallion out of the corner of his eye, _'Lieutanent Rolls Arcus, Second-in-command under Commander Hot Hurricane. Both of whom personally all but hate each other, mutual respect being the only thing that keeps one from lashing out at the other. He's also one of the biggest tribalists that fell out of history's eye. He personally was against the joining of the tribes and had several plans to separate the tribes, or at minimum form his own pegasi city-state. He was, and is, popular enough amongst his own tribe and supports amongst his comrades. Not to mention there were several similarly minded ponies among the earth-ponies and unicorns who wouldn't mind working with him to seperate the tribes again,'_ Discord recalled with a scowl, remembering how easy it had been to turn ponies on each other in the previous timeline _'Only one thing kept ponies like him in check, only one thing really washed away the old scars:_

 _ **Me.**_

 _The Tyranny of Chaos was, ironically, the single most unifying event in ponykind's history. Ponies of all races, and even non-ponies, had to work together to even try to stay sane in my land of madness. And my defeat legitimized Celestia and Luna to all but the most stubborn of ponies, taking the wind out of the sails of any anti-uniting movements before they could even become public. I was the common enemy that made them have rely on each other. Without that they're just a punch of ponies with decades of bad blood on all sides. I have to protect these ponies from each other as much as anything else..._

 _Not my usual kind of fun, but I'll make due._

 **End of Chapter**

Well, there you go: Discord meets with the Tree, and we get an eyeful of a potential villain. I figured there were plenty of ponies against unifying but after Discord? I'm pretty sure a lot of grudges were forgiven and forgotten, a long with the rest of their history.

So, yes, three new ponies this time: Rolls Arcus, Private Gust, and Herald Meshen. Hope you enjoyed all of them as they'll play more roles later on, especially with this rocky patch Arcus has cause for Pony-peace.

PS Yes, I made Commander Hurricane's full name to be Hot Hurricane.

 **Review Responses:**

 **AZalmega** \- Coincidentally, that's what happened this chapte

 **Hamster22** \- Pretty soon now that they're all there.

 **ShiningShadow1965** -Hahahaa, love it! Love it all!

 **duskrider** \- Thanks!

 **nightmaster000** \- It's possible, yes. As for entities, yes, there are some things Discord rather not coming to his lands-for the sake of the ponies if not himself.

 **FlamingFoxNinja** \- Clover is basically Twilight in this situation. And yes, discord's reaction will be fun no matter what.

 **UnsanMusho** \- Thank you for the kind words. And yes, eventually this will work to the present.

 **The Keeper of Worlds-** Yeah, that sounds about right on all ends.

 **MinarMaster** \- True. XP

 **Redentor** \- Could be both, knowing him.


	6. Tragic Karma? The King Has Come

Discord's Rewrite

I don't own MLP

Regular Speak

 _Thoughts and Flashbacks_

 **Demonic or Animalistic Speak**

 _ **Demonic or Animalistic Thoughts**_

Beta: Dragon_Wizard91

"Discord, there you are!" Luna yelled as she galloped over to them, "Commander," She greeted with a polite nod and smile.

"Lady Luna," Hurricane returned with his usual impassiveness before heading on, "I'll let you get the Guardian up to speed, Lord Discord."

"Oh? Did we miss something?" Luna asked curiously, looking around in concern as she saw some injured and shivering ponies among the now-full population of the three tribes.

"Oh, not much. I saved a couple hundred ponies, possibly prevented a new war between the tribes and as a bonus? I made a new species!" Discord explained with mock-casualness.

"..." Luna stared at him for a moment before blinking, "You're...serious? By buck, we can't even leave you alone for a morning, can we?" Luna asked in disbelief.

"You can, it's just ill advised," Discord joked with a smirk, looking around in search of something, "Where is that sister of yours? I thought I'd see her a mile away?"

"She's with Starswirl and the Order, heading for the Meeting Table as well, but for different reasons," Luna explained with a smirk of her own, "We have a surprise for you as well."

"Ohh, already giving me presents? Really, Loony, you're spoiling me!" He teased back.

"You have _**no**_ idea," Luna said mysteriously.

"Hmm?" Discord asked, stroking his beard as she trotted on smugly, "If it is a prank, there shall be war," He murmured to himself before following after her.

As he went, he couldn't help noticing quite a few ponies whispering as he went by. Only when he glanced at them, most of them smiled or waved or nodded.

Was there a saying about saving a pony's life and having a friend forever? If not, there should be.

Or maybe not just yet, he mentally backpedaled, seeing a few looks of fears or eyes averting his gaze, even a couple of subtle glares.

It's easy to forget how xenophobic ponies could be sometimes and pre-Equestria was some of the worst times in that regard; justifiably, but still.

"Lord Discord~" Came a voice with a deliberate drawl to the tone.

He stopped just short of where the area of the Meeting Table was located before glancing to his right to see Lily Frost waltzing up to him, her gaze half-lidded as she flicked her green hair over her cloak.

To him, it was a bit interesting yet still forgettable how physical modesty was apparently a dying trend with ponies. In just ten centuries, going naked or mostly naked would likely be the norm, same as the other timeline. But for now everypony wore a cloak, a shirt, a dress, or armor in public.

"Hello, Frosty," He greeted with a small smirk, wondering what she was up to, "Here for the meeting?"

"Among other things," The mare answered, eyeing him up and down for a second-or right to left, since he was floating.

"Well, you better get a seat, because this might turn into a _loooong_ show," He forewarned, getting a curious look from her.

"...Is this about Canner Pass?" She asked in concern. Unlike others, she had taken the time to overhear gossip and such on her way here. The rumors painted bad news, but an interesting image of Discord if even some of the things were true.

"You have no idea," Discord murmured as he continued on into the guarded area around the head tent, the mare following him in. Either because of himself or knowing who Lily was, the guards didn't make a move to stop her.

Discord was neither surprised or thrilled by what he saw, but it still amused him on some level.

It was utter ponidemonia around the table, really. Platinum was waving her hooves about and making wild yet somewhat justified accusations against the pegasi in general, Puddinghead was either berating or questioning what Discord assumed were the unicorn and earth pony soldiers in command of guarding the migration, Silkdial was trying to keep the Chancellor calm for some reason, Clover the Clever was actually in a screaming contest with Starswirl while Coppercode held her back, Count Lumen was TRYING to get some answers from Private Pansy over the commotion, Celestia sat resigned to the madness around her and Luna looked so lost that she almost seemed scared.

The only truly calm ones were Nodus Style, standing at the sidelines with a fake smile as he watched the train wreck that inter-tribal relations was steadily becoming and Commander Hurricane, content to stand like a statue until they wore themselves out. The fact he was standing on Discord's side of the table, opposite of his fellow leaders, spoke highly of how Hurricane viewed this situation.

Ponies losing their heads. No matter how much he tried to be good, it was still entertaining to watch. At least now he intended to help get things under control if he was needed.

Considering civil war was on the line, he was very much needed.

Without a sound, Discord materialized his throne at the table and floated into it. He raised his talons to snap away their mouths...but stopped as he realized that they had all fallen silent, looking at him with surprised looks. Well, it was nice to know he could get their attention so easily.

Still, best not to let their attention slip, "Oh no, don't mind me. Do carry on, I'm sure things will get better if you yell long and hard enough," He mocked lightly, idly noting Lily Frost taking a place to the right of his throne, opposite of Hurricane.

If he were anypony else, that line would have started another shouting match. As it was, all of them had nothing to say or bit back their words to the one that saved a good portion of their tribes.

"For future references, it is **not** a good thing when _I_ am the voice of reason," Discord added on flatly as he held up a can of soda and opened it, a small stream of orange bubbles flying out afterward.

"Leave us," Puddinghead ordered to the soldiers she had been questioning, obviously still displeased with them. They left without a word, equally unhappy for their own reasons. Mainly shame, if Discord had to guess.

"I want him dead," Platinum stated factually, nearly frothing at the mouth, "I want that sarding pigeon-back of a mule's head on a pike."

"And I would just love to replace the core with spaghetti and meat balls, but I prefer not to deal with the complications that would cause," Discord retorted casually before taking a sip of his fizzy drink.

"...What core?" Luna asked with a scowl.

Had ponies even figured out the world was round yet? Not important, so Discord pressed on and raised an eyebrow at royal unicorn, "For the record, how up to speed are you all? And which him are you referring to?"

"I'm talking about this flankhole's Lieutenant!" Platinum roared, slamming both hooves on the table. Discord said nothing. That was rather interesting, really. He didn't take spoiled Platinum to be so riled up over this, at least not this much.

"Platinum, calm your withers already!" Starswirl snapped as he walked up to the table, Clover still seething at his side while Platinum turned to the wizard in outrage but held her tongue nonetheless. Now just what had the student-master duo been fighting about? "We know that this Arcus fellow pretty much abandoned a LOT of ponies after they were buried in snow once some Bugbears showed up."

"The earth pony and unicorn soldiers were completely cut off after the avalanche and couldn't even attempt to help," Puddinghead added in with a frown, "Everypony trapped in there was left to die."

"We-well...until you saved them, that is, Lord Discord," Pansy offered with a smile.

Discord hummed at that. They knew that Arcus was responsible but not to what degree. Good; that would make things easier for now.

"How exactly _did_ you do that?" Celestia asked with a raised eyebrow, "The account of it isn't entirely...reliable."

Discord raised an eyebrow, wondering when they had time to question Meshen and Gust...and why was Puddinghead glaring at Celestia?

Either way, he snapped his claws...

 _ **Flashback**_

 _"Paaaapa! Paaaapa! Where are you, Papa!?"_

 _The earth colt's desperate cries echoed over the new border of the Frozen North, the nigh-windless clear skies leaving nothing to interfere with his call for his father._

 _The young pony with a soft brown coat stepped through steep snow, engulfing his short legs with every step, "Papa!" He yelled again, looking around the steep bowl-shaped area he was in. With a sniff, he stopped, "Where'd everyp-"_

 _ **(Too far back, fast-forward! CLICK)**_

 _The insect-mammal crossbreeds actually blinked before they realized that now they were the ones not alone._

 _With a roar of fright, they found themselves quickly and violently lifted into the air by...snow._

 _Looking down, they found both of them were in the grip of tentacles made completely of snow, connected to a...giant octopus made entirely of snow._

 _The two ponies watched dumbstruck as the creature of sentient snow crawled rapidly over to a catapult, which had never been there, before cranking it back and throwing the two beasts into the catapult._

 _"Now," Discord said, as he appeared with a flash, right in front of the bears…_

 _ **(Little bit more! CLICK)**_

 _The glass shattered in his claws, the glass turning to dust in midair and the milk into something foul and bile._

 _Then he stood up. He didn't float or teleport, he just rose._

 _He looked away for a moment, almost in thought, before looking at the equine with a shaky smile. Not a shakiness of fear though._

 _"You know, I find myself at a loss," Discord said in a too-calm voice, snapping his tail to send the throne hurtling off to one side in pieces. "In all my long life, I have managed to-_

 _ **(Sard, I pressed skip! BACKBACKBACK!)**_

 _Gust eyed the horn-cup skeptically, but figuring he had little to lose, he grasped it with one hoof and took a cautious sip. The pony stopped, blinked and gulped down the rest in one go, "...Why does it taste like cherries?" He couldn't help but ask as a numbing relief buzzed through him._

 _"Lucky, I always taste swamp water." Discord mock pouted with his arms crossed._

 _"...Thank you," Gust said after a moment as he stood back up, "Is there any chance your...friend over there could help us? There are a lot more ponies under the snow," Gust asked grimly as he glanced over at the Arctopus…which was currently tearing apart and eating the catapult with vigor._

 _"...The snow monster eats wood?" Meshen asked slowly._

 _"It's made of chocolate now," Discord informed offhoofedly before grinning, "And I have a better idea!"_

 _ **(Finally!)**_

 _Next thing the ponies know, they were on one of the hilltops, overlooking the pass- and Hank, for that matter was still eating his chocolate catapult. Chocopult?_

 _Gust turned around, finding their apparent savior standing a few paces from them, his arms impossibly deep into a small square object of some sort, made of a flimsy brown material, "...What is that?" Gust asked curiously._

 _Discord blinked, looking to the stallion before following his gaze, than glancing back at him, "It's a box?" He answered in a questioning, obvious tone._

 _"Made of...?" Gust prompted with a wave of his hoof._

 _"Oh, right, you ponies haven't made this stuff yet: Its cardboard," Discord answered before grinning as he pulled out what looked to Gust to be three rectangular mirrors attached together, "And this is how I deal with snow; Today at least," He mused as he approached them._

 _Meshen, who had been engrossed with watching the giant Arctopus, jumped slightly as Discord placed the mirrors firmly right in front of him. He looked up to see Discord's lion paw ruffling his head._

 _"Hold this up for me, Kiddo," He instructed, not even giving the colt time to register before pulling away. The young earth pony frantically shot up, hooking his front hooves over the top of the mirror to keep it upright. He was just big enough to peek over the top and see what was happening._

 _Everything seemed normal for a moment, then his eyes went wide with awe as the snow began to melt- quickly too, the firm white powder turning mushy and lumpy, "Woooooow," Meshen said quietly._

 _Gust had to agree, personally, but he did spot a problem, "I think your...snow-thing is in trouble," He informed without looking away. After a moment of silence, he turned and found Discord's talon elbow deep in...the puff of his own tail, somehow._

 _"Oh, right, forgot about Hank," Discord realized, snapping his lion claw, making the melting Arctopus appear nearby, "Sorry about...that?" Discord started half-heartedly, only to blink as he saw that the snow-cephalopod was observing three tentacles made of water it was now sporting, still connected to its snow-body with only a small section of ice between them._

 _"Was it supposed to do that?" Meshen asked, staining to look over his shoulder at the creature of snow and water._

 _"It wasn't_ _ **not**_ _supposed to," Discord answered curiously as he pulled out a hairdryer from his tail. With a grin, Discord aimed it above Hank for a quick test._

 _ ***WOOSH!***_

 _"WHAT THE SARDING SARD!" Gust yelled as he jumped back in shock, staring in disbelief as fire poured out of the object like it was a dragon's maw._

 _"Bit too much," Discord mused with shades over his eyes, turning a tiny dial on the side, replacing the inferno with hot air. He turned his attention to Hank, who was now all water, "Huh, you're an Aquapus now! Rad!" He joked with a grin, waving his pinkie and thumb talon about before turning back to the valley below._

 _By now, the valley was starting to flood a bit while ponies tried to pull themselves out of the melting snow. The tops of several domed shields of varying colors could be seen, indicating some unicorns had tried to save themselves and others. Without another word, he aimed the drier at the valley._

 _Miraculously or chaotically rather, the liquid started to evaporate without boiling, even off the coats and mains of the ponies._

 _With a satisfied smirk, Discord let off the trigger and blew imaginary smoke off the end of the device. He glanced down at Private Gust, staring at him in awe and disbelief...and looking to the hair drier repeatedly._

'...Buck. Ponies don't have hair driers yet, so now he's going to think this is some kind of mystic device,' _Discord realized, not sure to be amused or annoyed by that. Amuyed? Annosed?_ 'I am sooooo going to buck up the minds of these ponies! And I'm not even trying...mostly.'

 _With a shrug, he tossed it over his shoulder, landing it in the cardboard box...which closed shut and fell apart, revealing an empty interior. "Well, time to get to work!" He declared with a snap of his tail, reappearing down below amongst the ponies..._

 _Flashback End_

From an outside perspective, all the ponies present had glowing eyes of moving colors, staring blankly in frozen positions. With the sound of a film roll running out, the glow faded away as they all started to blink and shake away the stuffy feeling of the memory-dump.

"And that's about all the interesting bits," Discord explained, shocked faces staring at him numbly. They only barely registered the bubbles of soda around him, "I patched up a few of the really injured ones, then teleported them all here and kindly hurried everypony else to get off their flanks and help tend to the wounded," He explained before looking thoughtful, "Oh, yeah, and I let Hank go free to start his own race of Artcopi," he added on with a grin.

"...How?" Puddinghead asked slowly.

"Well, I did make it so that each of his tentacles will fall off and form another like him, but only once per tentacle," Discord elaborated with a dismissive hand wave.

"Not that! How did you just...show us all that!" Puddinghead reiterated, her mind still reeling a bit from processing...that.

"Yes, that was most uncomfortable," Platinum agreed, adjusting her crown out of habit and nerves.

"Oh, that? I just planted a third-person version of my memories in your minds, right in the part regulated to recording current events into memory," Discord explained with a shrug.

"Okay, at least stop pretending you don't realize how impressive and alarming stuff like that is," Luna requested flatly.

"Would you have rather I done it through theater?!" Discord asked, in an instant donning a Shakespearean outfit covered with frills and ruffles and striking a faux-dramatic pose.

Several of the ponies fought down snickers at his appearance, "Yes!/Yes/Yes?" Pansy, Platinum, Puddinghead, Clover and Silkdial all answered in various ways.

"Certainly makes keeping secrets easier and giving reports," Hurricane noted stoically.

"And saves time- how long were we...watching that?" Starswirl asked curiously.

"About a minute or two," Discord answered as he dematerialized his suit, "Now that we're all caught up to speed, what the buck are all you yelling about?"

"The guards for abandoning their comrades and tribe mates," Puddinghead answered in a stony voice.

"The pegasi for running off at the first sign of trouble," Platinum elaborated with a snort.

"Clover and I had a...disagreement about how to handle this matter, is all," Starswirl answered, glaring at his student who glared back.

Discord stared at them all for ten long seconds, the soda bubbles popping as he did so, before he did something even he wasn't fully expecting.

He _clapped_.

It wasn't thunderous applause, but slow, echoing, sarcastic smacks of the palms, "Congrats. I left you all alone for less than twenty minutes, you're already at each other's throats for the slightest reasons and the only calm ones are from the tribe you are accusing," Discord mock praised.

"Of course they're calm! They orchestrated this travesty!" Platinum accused hotly even as Puddinghead wavered a bit from the insult.

Hurricane subtly glanced at Discord, wondering just how he planned to expl-

"At this point, it doesn't really matter if they did."

The entire area went dead silent at that pronouncement, while Discord scowled; even Hurricane looked a little taken back.

"...What did you just say?" Celestia asked in disbelief, wishing she had heard her "friend" wrong just now, "How...how can you just say that the lives of those ponies don't matter!?"

"Guardian," Lily Frost spoke up coldly, before Discord could retort, "Shut your trap."

"Lily?!" Silkdial and Coppercode yelled in shock as Celestia and Luna stared. It had been a long time since any mortal had spoken to them in such a manner, save perhaps Starswirl.

"Lord Discord obviously cares about the lives of ponies or we would be preparing a mass funeral for corpses instead of treating the wounded," Lily pointed out factually, "Perhaps you should listen to what he is actually saying instead of making your own conclusions, Celestia."

 _'Someone is trying to win brownie points quickly,'_ Luna, Celestia, and the rest of Asterordo thought with sweat-drops.

Discord, all the while, stared down at the unicorn that came to his defense in utter surprise. Of all the unexpected things he might have imagined, this was not on the list. She caught his stare and gave him a small smile. Filing that away for later, he turned his attention back to the group, "Listen to Frosty, Mares and Gentlecolts," He suggested with a grin, patting her on the head- and making sure she wasn't drunk, mind controlled, or drugged to be on the safe side. Interestingly, he found none, "As I was saying, it doesn't really matter because, if the pegasi did plan this, they've already paid for it," Discord informed confidentially.

"What are you talking about?" Clover asked, very curious now.

Discord's tail stretched high into the air above him and grabbed a string that led to...nowhere...and pulled it down to reveal a large chart with the image of an ancient scroll on it, depicting a scoreboard with four columns. At the top in big bolded letters was the title **"Death Board"** and the columns were labeled as _**Pegasi, Earth Ponies, Unicorns,**_ and _**Others**_.

 _ **Others**_ got many odd looks, but he didn't give them time to question it.

"Baring the now-unlikely event of more dying from their injuries, these are how the death toll pans out," Discord started off, allowing himself to be appropriately grim for this, "Twenty-seven ponies died out there, mostly to Bearbees. Five of them were earth ponies, all soldiers that died to Bearbees," He paused as five tally marks appeared in the specified column, "Unicorns lost two troops and a mare to bugbears, one guard and one noble from magical exhaustion caused by holding up the shields under the snow, one elderly mare to the avalanche itself, and one stallion died choking on a snack- I'm not even joking on that one," He assured with a dry smirk as the unicorns gained seven marks, "The pegasi, in comparison, lost _**fifteen**_ in all: Seven were soldiers, the other eight were the ones that the Bearbees caught when they tried to fly away. Three of them were kids: One filly, one foal and one tiny little foal died in the mother's hooves," Discord finished, crossing his arms and leaning back in his throne as the third set of marks appeared on the board, "Shall I go on and start listing off names?" He offered as he observed them all with a cold look in his eyes.

Puddinghead look properly reprimanded while Platinum looked away with a conflicted look on her face, clearly not quite ready to give up her crusade. Celestia and Luna had sad, tearful looks of...shame and regret. They were blaming themselves, but he'd deal with that after this. The rest just bowed their heads in respect for the dead. Except Hurricane, who was making an almost convincing show of pretending like he wasn't quivering with rage. Pansy's comforting hoof on his as she stood next to him probably had something to do with it.

"...What exactly does this prove?" Platinum asked begrudging, still not making eye contact.

"That either the pegasi _**did**_ plan this and instantly received karma for it, suffering more casualties than the other two tribes combined or this is simply a tragedy for all that you two are now exploiting," Discord answered frostily, continuing on before Platinum could make her own rebuttal, "More to the point!...Pudding? Could you tell me who informed both yourself and Platinum that they suspected something went wrong with the migration?" Discord asked, keeping his eyes on Platinum.

"...Commander Hurricane," Puddinghead answered with a scrunched eyebrow.

"And do you believe said Commander was pretending to be suspicious and concerned over the early arrival of the tribes?" Discord asked pointedly.

Puddinghead paused to stare at the pegasi leader, who gave her nothing back, "...No. Hurricane doesn't act beyond being a stone wall. If he was suspicious, he didn't know what happened," She agreed with a sigh, speaking from years of knowing the stallion in the worst of diplomatic relationships.

"And concern speaks for itself," Discord added on, "So, _**if**_ it just so happens that all this is a grand scheme by the pegasi, then not only did it backfire oh so fantastically, but also it seems their own leader wasn't aware of it. Any want to protest that?" He asked, actually daring them to give him something else to shoot down. Luckily, none did.

"Not to add fuel to the fire?" Luna spoke up, pausing briefly to get their attention, "But why is it that you have not said a word in your defense, Commander Hurricane? I have never known you to let anyone fight your battles for you?" She asked curiously, finding his silence rather strange.

"What would you have me say, Lady Luna?" Hurricane asked, almost sounding tired behind that unchanging expression of his, "Either my soldiers are scheming under my snout or they fled from a fight they couldn't win? Which one of these two, probably Platinum, will translate into either a lack of competency in me, suggesting I pass on my position, or my soldiers, calling their training and discipline into question," He pointed out bitterly.

Platinum didn't even bother to deny the accusation, choosing instead to just glare lightly at the pegasi commander with a huff.

"I'll be very annoyed if I have to explain why those are both horrid opinions to express in this situation. Somepony else do it, I've made enough sense for the day," Discord requested as he pressed the formerly-empty soda can to his head. He really didn't care they didn't see it had frozen chocolate-milk inside of it.

Besides, he wasn't going to do all their thinking for them.

"Well...obviously, insulting the soldiers also insults the seven that died facing the bugbears...and adds salt to fresh wounds in general, generating resent among the pegasi," Coppercode answered awkwardly.

"But why would doubting Commander Hurricane's ability be bad, exactly?" Clover asked with a raised eyebrow," No offense, Sir," She added on quickly. The pegasus stallion just nodding, knowing it was a purely intellectual question in this instance.

"...Because that gives grounds for ponies in his ranks to push for just that, a new commander," Celestia summarized with a grim look on her face, "Unless I'm incorrect, your second in command is fairly popular amongst your tribe and the leader of the pegasi soldiers that were guarding the tribes when the bugbears attacked."

Discord couldn't stop the pleased grin on his face if he wanted to, _'Well, heeeeello, Celestia! There's that brilliant mind of yours,'_ He thought, relishing this moment a bit. Grim Celestia just wasn't the same or as fun if she wasn't on some level of chess-master, even if it was only a budding one in this case.

The rest of the ponies grew silent, looking between Celestia and the pegasi in shock, "Wait, are you implying that your Lieutenant-?" Count Lumen started with wide eyes as the pieces were finally all present and falling together.

"We're not implying anything," Discord stated sharply, crushing the can flat into nonexistence, _""I"_ am saying get the facts straight and actually think about what things mean before dropping accusations like lemon cards," He stated with a frown, "Seriously, you lot should have been worried about getting everypony accounted for and well, **than** looking into foalplay."

"...He's right," Puddinghead conceded with a bowed head, "We're so use to blaming one thing or another on each other and we've come to do it on instinct. Instead of a tragedy, all we could see was a conspiracy," She admitted before looking to Hurricane, "Commander, you have my apologies. My behavior has been highly unbecoming, both as the elected leader of Earth Ponies and a representative of a supposed ally," She apologized solemnly.

Hurricane really did stink at acting. A foal could see how his eyes widened and his jawline became loose, while his wings rested much more at ease by his sides, "...Apology accepted, Chancellor," he answered, and even his voice sounded pleasantly surprised.

After a peaceful silence, all gazes fell upon Princess Platinum. She looked away for a moment before facing Discord and Hurricane again, "...What about this Lieutenant?" She asked, still intending to see if a pound of flesh couldn't be gained from this.

"What about him?" Hurricane asked, already expecting this question but decided to let them lead the conversation. He hated politics.

"What? Are you saying you'll do nothing against him?" Puddinghead asked in disbelief.

"On what grounds?" Hurricane asked with a raised eyebrow.

"How about failure to complete his task?!" Platinum suggested vocally.

"Because unless you have proof otherwise, punishing an officer for saving and protecting the lives he could instead of continuing a hopeless situation is not the actions of a good Commander or a wise Queen."

Everypony turned to stare at the newcomer to their tent, all except a frozen Platinum.

From the entrance emerged a unicorn in his late prime, the brilliance of his golden mane and silver coat withstanding time well and only blemished by old scars. The cloak upon his back was black with a line of faux fur colored as purple and red stripes. Upon his head was a golden crown, simpler than Platinum's, but grand none the less. His eyes were a striking solid white that made him appear to have only pupils.

As this stallion trotted forward, all eyes were fixed squarely on him, Discord's included. Said Draconequus smirked as he saw the respect and slight fear that even Starswirl himself had in his golden eyes. Luna and Celestia, to their credit, looked more uncertain than scared as the unicorns bowed in respect to the newcomer

"...King Bullion," Hurricane greeted with a nod of acknowledgment and respect for the warrior-king.

"I'm glad to see you're well, your majesty," Puddinghead welcomed as well.

"Arise, my friends and subjects," Bullion address with a small smile as he stood next to the still unmoving Platinum. If he had a bit more facial hair, it'd probably look perfectly grandfatherly. As the unicorns rose, he turned his attention to the other tribe leaders, "Hurricane, Puddinghead. You have my condolences. I'm sorry that I couldn't have made a difference in this situation," He offered sincerely with a nod, which they returned after looking briefly surprised. With that done, he looked towards Platinum, staring at her unceasingly.

Slowly, the mare looked up and she was clearly not a princess anymore, but a daughter worried she had disappointed her father, "F-father, I thought you were resting sti-"

Platinum never got to finish, as King Bullion embraced her with a smile, "I'm so happy you're safe," He whispered in her ear as he held her tight. The princess took only a moment to melt into his embrace and return it earnestly.

If anypony thought now was an inappropriate time for a family moment, they kept it to themselves. After another second, Bullion broke the embrace and turned to the Alicorns, "Lady Luna, Lady Celestia? Guardians or not, thank you for watching over my subjects and daughter, along with the rest of the tribes and their leaders," He thanked with a nod.

"It was no trouble at all, King Bullion," Luna assured with a smile, Celestia nodding in agreement.

"We only wish we had been there to protect those that needed us," Celestia added on sorrowfully.

"Aye, and if you had ventured back to protect us, the forward party might been attacked and we would have come into a trap while tired and weary from travel. Leaving me without a daughter and the other two tribes in need of new leaders," Bullion retorted with a knowing smile, telling them to stop doubting their decisions, "Besides, I hear you've both been busy..." he mused, casting his gaze to the Draconequus on the horned throne.

Discord smirked with his chin in his eagle palm, talons tapping against his chin as he and the king stared at each other, "Well, well, if its isn't Papaking himself," Discord greeted playfully. He received several looks of disbelief and pleading at that, mostly form the Alicorns and unicorns.

"Lord Discord," Bullion addressed evenly as he walked to the side of the table, eyeing the chimeric entity. The air was thick as the two titans sized each other up. Discord really did wish he had met this stallion last time around. He would have been a grand opponent, "I've heard much about you."

"Oh? And just who is telling stories about little old me?" Discord asked with a grin...before blinking as something nudged his leg. He looked down under the table, getting the curiosity of the others, "What the buck?" He asked in surprise, reaching down to his feet and pulling up...

"Meshen!?" Puddinghead hissed in disbelief and alarm.

"When did you get here, Meshen?" He asked curiously, holding the little one up with both paws. And filling away how the Chancellor knew him as a question for later.

The earth colt grinned as everyone else stared at him, except for the amused King Bullion, "Me and Gust have been telling the Horn King how you saved everypony from the Bearbees and snow, Lord Cord," He answered happily.

"You're only calling me that because it sounds funny," Discord accuesed with a teasing grin.

"Huh? I thought your name was Dis Cord?" Meshen asked with a confused head tilt.

 _'...Meshen is best colt, end of discussion,'_ Discord thought with a deadpan tone in his head, infinitely amused, "It is for you, kiddo," He answered with a chuckle, letting go of him in midair. Someponies, notably Puddinghead, gasped in alarm...before seeing the wide eyed colt floating weightlessly where he had been held. Discord smirked, waving his finger to the left with a twirl to it, making the young pony move in said direct with a small spin.

Everypony couldn't help watching the colt moving slowly but helplessly through the air in pure defiance of gravity, until he was plucked out of the air by a grey wing, "Told you he'd do something like that," Gust scolded playfully as he put the child on his back while standing near an amused Bullion, the pegasi soldier nodding afterward at Discord and Hurricane.

"Hehe, that was fun," Meshen answered with a wide grin on his face, before turning to wave at the earth pony leader. Puddinghead gave an exasperated sigh but smiled and waved back none the less.

 _'A unicorn king, a pegasus soldier, and an earth colt. Didn't see that one coming,'_ Discord noted in interest. Saying this had potential was like saying Pinkie Pie was hyper. AKA, obvious to the power of drop-dead-stupid.

Bullion chuckled at the youthful antic before turning back to their host, "I've heard the stories around the camp and these two painted a very vivid tale of what happened at the Pass. I must say, they really don't do you justice, especially if that vision was anything to go by, Lord Discord."

Platinum's eyes widened as she looked at Discord, realizing he had known her father had not only been outside the tent, but listening the entire time.

"I could say the same, King Bullion," Discord answered with a laugh in his throat, his eyes flashing for emphasis, "Really, if your magic was any stronger, I might just mistake you for an Alicorn."

The king smiled disarmingly, "High praise, but I fear you must be thinking of a younger me," He returned with a chuckle of his own.

 _'Bullion...Unicorn King, last of the true battlecorns and one of the strongest unicorns to exist, period. He surpasses Starswirl, dwarfs Twilight as a unicorn, is rivaled only by King Sombra in terms of mortals(assuming Shady still counts as mortal) with his skill in offensive magic, making even the mighty Alicorns a bit uncomfortable. Not to mention his white-eyed pupils are a bit disturbing to the average...well, almost anything. Ahhhh, I wish I had met this old goat before he up and vanished in the last timeline,'_ Discord mused to himself as he stroked his beard.

Safe to say, no one agreed with or believed that self-evaluation much.

 **End of Chapter**

You would not believe how little there is about King Bullion. Okay, maybe you would, but I swear there was a picture of him once that I can't find anymore. Still, yes, Platinum's father has just arrived and, if it isn't obvious, he and Discord are sizing each other up...and enjoying Meshen being Meshen

Well, hoped you all enjoyed seeing Discord play through a round of politics in his own unique way. Next chapter will wrap up the meeting with Discord getting some answers to his early questions/observations, which means finding out about Lily Frost being his first sacrifice.

PS About the "everypony wears clothes back than" thing? One, that seems to be true in the Hearth Warming Eve play if you look at the commoners and such- they all have some form of clothing, curiously enough. Might just be winter bt, eh, I like the idea that it became less of a thing with time.

Two, it hasn't come up before because Discord is the main point of view, and its not something he pays a lot of attention to unless it amuses him.

 **Review Responses**

 **Dragonblaze66** \- One of them, yeah.

 **Thaqif** \- -.- Really? Here?

 **TheLastNanaya** \- Haha! Ahh, that wonderful feeling of getting someone to enjoy a fic in a fandom they normalyl don't like. Its a good feeling. XP

 **FlamingFoxNinja** \- Oh, I think he'll godownas a bit more than just a good guy. Still, glad you're enjoying it. Andit does look to be shaping up like that with Gust and Meshen.

 **nightmaster000** \- Well, oldhabits like hating each other don'tgo away overnight without outside influence. As for how he'll deal with Tribalists and such? As he needs to.

As for the Discord-is-Naruto thing, nothing at the moment- trying to figure some stuff out on that end.

 **ShiningShadow1965** \- Not every problem is so easily dealt with, even Discord knows that. Especially Discord knows that.

 **Drakolf** \- Glad to hear!

 **duskrider** \- Yep. Against something like him, you don't get picky with your allies and help.

 **UnsanMusho** \- Both in and out of context, yes. XP Thank you, and no. We're going to see old Cordy using that "Return of Harmony" cunning and manipulation that he seemed to bury for his canon reformation to get ponies toget things done without him sometimes.

 **The Keeper of Worlds** \- Technically, he always was that. No, no, there will be no grand paradox in the foreseeable future. But as stated a while back, the canon verse might start watching this fic as a movie. XP


	7. We're All Mad Here! End of the Meeting

Discord's Rewrite

I don't own MLP

Regular Speak

 _Thoughts and Flashbacks_

 **Demonic or Animalistic Speak**

 _ **Demonic or Animalistic Thoughts**_

Beta: Dragon_Wizard91

"Well," Luna spoke up with a small smile, "Now that our heads are clearer, we should move on to any other matters that need to be discussed before making arrangements for the dead," She suggested with a look around at the assembled group.

"Are there really any other matters of importance?" Hurricane asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I believe Lord Discord has one," Platinum pointed out, looking oddly at the Death Chart's fourth column.

"Hm?" Discord asked, looking back briefly, "Oh, right, _that_. I was going to set up a lighthearted account on the dead for the bug bears and other animals, but the mood never presented itself," He explained with a shrug as the chart vanished with a poof, "Your jarheads got four of them, by the way," He added on, glancing at Hurricane.

"How exactly would that lighten the mood?" Celestia asked dryly.

"Dark humor has its place, making ponies laugh through sheer absurdity or something like that," Discord explained dismissively. He wasn't completely tactless, especially when it came to joking about death- that needed the right moment and delivery.

"Well, now that King Bullion and the rest of the tribes have arrived, we'll probably have to talk more about the arrangements between you and us, Lord Discord," Puddinghead reminded.

"I have time, I can wait," Discord assured offclawedly.

"Yes, I believe I've heard something about a...proposal for our, what was the term, rent?" Bullion asked, giving Discord a look. Amused, mostly.

"It was a suggestion, but you should have seen the looks on their faces," Discord said with a grin, handing a white square card of sorts to Bullion.

"What is that?" Platinum, Celestia and Clover all asked in sync, with mixtures of dread and curiosity.

"It's a photograph," Discord answered flatly as Bullion blinked before chuckling fondly.

"Oh, you will have to show me how to conjure these up: That way I can look back on when my little Num-Num was just a little filly-foal," Bullion said nostalgically.

"Father!" Platinum hissed in horrified embarrassment.

"Wait, I'm confused, what rent?" Gust asked, feeling strangely left out since everypony else seemed to understand what was mentioned.

Many a pony exchanged looks, both amused and awkward. Discord just watched as the show unfolded. Ultimately, it was Lily Frost that generously decided to fill the private in, "As you may have heard, these lands we have migrated happen to be the realm of our chimeric ally," The mare explained with a smirk, "And while he's not against our settling here, there are certain rules he and our leaders are working out. One of which being payment for living here and for restraining his Strangeness from effecting our new home, more or less."

"Oooookay, that makes sense, mostly," Gust mused as he stroked his chin. After what he saw at the Pass, he had no desire to see this entity become their enemy. And if these were his lands, well…as long as the price wasn't too over the top, things should be fine.

"We're still working out the details, but as Lulu over here said, the standing offer would probably end the talks rather quickly," Discord commented with a smirk...but turned curious as he saw the smirk Luna was giving him, and Celestia's sigh of resignation.

"...Lulu?" Bullion repeated with confused intrigue as he glanced at the Alicorn.

"Said offer being a virgin mare as a sacrifice every eleven years and nine months," Hurricane supplied dryly to his fellow pegasi.

"...Really?" Gust asked with wide eyes as he looked to the Draconequus, who renewed his smirk. It wasn't exactly over the top, but still.

"What's a virgin?" Meshen asked innocently from Gust's back, making everypony freeze and remember he was present as the colt looked between the adults, "Can I have one?" he asked with a head tilt.

The silence that followed was broken by Discord standing from his throne, eyes wide and expression unchanging as all eyes followed him curiously. He walked over to Gust, his movements stiff and eerie, before wordlessly picking up a very confused Meshen. He then deposited the colt in his throne, "Kid, keep that warm for me," He requested politely before walking behind his chair, putting a few steps between himself and the group...,"BWAHAHAHAHOHOHOHOHOHEHEHEHE!"…before proceeding to collapse on the ground, withering with uproarious laughter, pounding the earth ceaselessly with his fists and tail. Everypony else watched on in shock, one part alarmed, two parts unsure of what to do.

Eventually the god managed to get his laughter under control, with a few last giggles, "H-he...He actually-!...Oh dear sarding ice cream on a Tuesday monkey, that was good!" He chortled as he sat up, wiping the tears from his eyes.

"...Are you done?" Celestia called evenly from nearby.

"Yes, yes, I'm quite-" Discord answered as he stood to face them, only to stop dead in his track, looking at the rather large female white wolf with pink phoenix wings, a golden cat tail and a vaguely sun shaped mark on her chest, "...Celly? You're an Aralez?" He asked blankly, brain not quite catching up with his eyes or mouth.

"If you mean a winged wolf, then yes, I am," She answered with an annoyed scowl.

He took a moment to look her over again, "... **Bow**. _Wow_."

She gave him a flat look before another voice caught his attention, "Discord?" Luna called with a whimper from the table.

Discord turned...and suddenly had the urge to write a book.

The Meeting Table had gone from a simple wooden rectangle to a grand, royal round table made of marble, the sides covered with masterfully carved scenes depicting various beasts and monsters, while almost everypony sat in seats of dark oak with purple cushioning.

Luna now had metal bat wings, hair made of blue snakes, and silver armor with the insignia of a shattered moon on the front, "Help?" She requested as her serpents moved about, having no idea if they would bite her or not.

"What have you done to me!?" Platinum yelled in alarm, turned into a holeless changeling with white eyes, a crown of tiny horns and a silver layer of chitin running from the top of her head down her neck and back, including the protective shell over her wings.

"Don't fret, Platinum. Your form looks rather cute," Bullion assured softly, seated to her left in the form of what could only be called a pony-shaped dragon, with grey scales and a crest of red and black upon his head, along with a tail that had a small club at the end.

The imperial changeling princess withered in embarrassment under the fatherly gaze of her drapony sire while Puddinghead the Weaselipede(Weasel-Centipede) curled around her own high back chair, with her long body of tanned fur as many brown feet clung to the oak. She observed the rest of her fellows curiously while her antenna-like appendages moved up and down her back in a wave-like pattern, "I suppose it does, in a rather feral fashion," She agreed tentatively.

"Why don't I get a chair?" Silkdial asked in annoyance, grunting as her grey winged, bird-faced form climbed on the table, "And what the Sard am I? A Griffon-pit bull?" She asked with a glare at her red body.

"I believe that would be a skunk bear or wolverine's body you have," Count Lumen commented curiously, now a serpent with sun-kissed fur floating on what the others could only describe as being concentrated black-light, "So...Grifferine?"

"Shut it, Fur-rope," Silkdial snipped in annoyance.

"Settle down, Silk," Starswirl instructed with a sigh, now a four eyed lime-stripped purple tiger with the tail of an snake, "Copper, help Clover pull herself together," He instructed to the stallion, looking completely unchanged as he stood over a pile of crystals.

"Why didn't he change?" Puddinghead asked, her front most left paw stroking her chin and the one below it stroking her elbow.

Coppercode looked sheepish as he held up a hoof...which promptly turned to sand, "Clover is having a bit of trouble keeping shape...I barely am," he confessed nervously, the crystals clattering loudly a bit before settling down again.

"This...this isn't permanent, right?" Pansy asked, looking over her pony-bat form nervously. It was literally more bat than pony with her forelegs and wings fused together, extra joints formed in her rear legs, her tail gone, and her teeth turned to fangs.

"It better not be," Hurricane grumbled...now a seaweed monster in the form of a pegasus, steam rolling off his body with glowing red eyes.

 **"...I have absolutely no complaints about this,"** Gust commented with a smirk, showing off a slasher-toothed smile of razor fangs.

"What The Sard _**Are**_ You!?" Silkdial yelled in alarm, only now getting a look at him.

"Umm..." Discord spoke up as he floated over, taking in their forms with wide eyes, "He's basically the miniature version of a primordial lizard god," Discord explained idly, examining Gust's scaly form with multiple large dorsal fins, round-footed hind legs, a long thick tail, short arms with clawed hands, and he was now about as tall as Discord himself, "...Just call him Gustzilla," He quipped, grinning slowly.

 **"Sounds fine with me!"** Gust agreed with a hearty laugh.

"Discord," Celestia called as she retook her seat, giving him a pointed look, "Can you please change us back now?"

"Yes, yes, sorry about that, but I did manage to keep it from spreading to the rest of the camp. Though...I seriously feel the urge to write a book! Which is new for me," He mused with a chuckle, "Now, where are the others...?" the Draconequus wondered, looking behind him to see Nodus Style sitting where he had been before, giving Discord a small smirk. The God of Chaos scowled playfully before repeatedly giving the unicorn an "I'm watching you" gesture, to which Nodus just chuckled in his throat. With that done, Discord turned to his throne, leaning over to look in it.

Meshen was as enamored with the changes as Discord himself, now sporting the form of a brown-orange foal-sized iguana with a black mane of fur. In his hands was a glass scepter, the head shaped like two dragon heads fused to have three eyes and two jaws, "...Lord Cord? Why do I feel like I **really** want cake?" Meshen asked curiously.

"..." Discord said nothing, his eyebrow twitching. This...this was just too much, "I'll explain when you're older, Meshen," He said slowly as he picked the colt up and put him on the arm of his chair.

Giving them all one last look over to drink it all in, he snapped his talons. A flash of light erupted and all the strange beasts at the round table were replaced by ponies around a rectangle table- and, also, a stunned Lumen falling out of the sky and landing on Silkdial.

"...Get your flank off my face," Silkdial grunted loudly from under him.

"Sorry, sorry!" Lumen apologized quickly, helping the grey mare up as she dusted herself off, "Are you alright?" He asked in concern for her.

"...Strangely, yes," Silkdial answered, raising an eyebrow at Discord as she rubbed a hoof over her unharmed nose.

He merely shrugged at that, "I made the ground soft," He explained vaguely.

"Right...," Silkdial acknowledged as a gasping and panting Clover rejoined the table.

"Falling to pieces... **not** a fun experience!" She declared with a distant look in her eyes.

"Is that normal for you, Lord Discord?" Coppercode asked curiously, and a bit of worry.

Discord hummed in thought before answering, "Not really, but I'm also not surprised. Been a while since I heard something that funny," He mused with a grin.

"Umm, Discord?" Luna spoke up, her mouth twitching upward in amusement as she looked over at the right side of his throne, "I believe you missed somepony," She informed wryly.

Discord raised an eyebrow before realizing who she meant, "Oops! Apologizes, Lily, but you really should speak...up...," Discord trailed off as he looked over to see what the green maned mare had become.

There was a rather fetching female laying by his throne with the head of a white fox, green avian talons for forelegs, feathered wings that faded from green to sea-green at the tips, the black rear of a jaguar, and a forest green wolf tail swishing about contently; An Enfield, more or less. The stranger part had to be the accessories: A muzzle, hence her silence, along with a metal collar that had a chain leash to his throne.

And why the bucking sard of all sarding bucks was she giving him that smirk and smoldering look?!

"Well...I'd say somepony already knows," Silkdial quipped with a smirk.

"Knows what?" Puddinghead asked with a head tilt as Discord looked around the table in confusion before he got to a snickering Luna, remembering her comment from before the meeting.

"...Luna, what is going on?" He asked in a rare cautious voice as he glanced down at the Lily Enfield, who leaned up to nuzzle his lion paw.

"Oh? You're going to claim that this setup is not intentional?" Luna asked in amused skepticism.

"...Yes? I was warping things in a fit of laughter. I can't control what the _**lols**_ makes me do!...Well, not for the most part," He defended, wondering just where they were going with this. Looking back down, his eyes almost popped out of his skull when Lily raised her tail…very high.

Several ponies shared looks, some wondering who should say it and others wondering what it was they didn't know, "Oh, for the love of all magic, just tell him already!" Nodus spoke up as he trotted up to the table in exasperation, "Mr. Chaos, meet your voluntary sacrifice," He explained bluntly, pointing from the chaos god to the transformed pony, "We were told the virgin bit was more of a guideline than a rule."

Everypony stared in utter silence, including Discord.

"WHAT!?" The yell, surprisingly, didn't come from Discord, but from Princess Platinum as she slammed her hooves on the table, "I agreed to no such thing!"

"Princess, she volunteered," Celestia reminded with a sigh.

"You two knew about this!?" Platinum accused, glaring at the guardians.

"She does know this sacrifice thing was Lady Luna's idea, right?" Clover muttered with a raised eyebrow.

"...What?" Hurricane, Platinum, and Puddinghead said in sync, turning to glare at the blue Alicorn.

Clover blinked at that, "I...probably shouldn't have said that."

Luna tensed but kept her composure, "I made a joke about him wanting virgin mares for us originally trespassing on his lands," She explained with a shrug.

"And then he applied it to how we pay for living here," Puddinghead pointed out dryly.

"Certainly appeals to his baser instincts," Gust murmured, having taken it upon himself to cover Meshen's ears, who was humming a little tune to himself while the adults talked about _nasty things_ , as Gust put it.

And as the ponies squabbled, Discord himself paid them no mind, his focused his attention on the little Enfield, his eyes widened ever so slightly. In the back of his head, he registered her bonds were likely a result of the unguided chaos magic acting to her desires on some level. The implications of that weren't something he could process just yet. He had a legit reason or two behind the mare sacrifice thing and he did always intend on it being willing...he just didn't think he'd get a volunteer right off the bat! It was...a bit shocking, really. Considering ponies and the age he was in, he was more than ninety-nine percent sure that his appearance would bother most mares at first!

And yet, this little minx was giving him what could only be called bedroom eyes. It almost didn't seem real to him. And as an entity that warps reality as easily as breathing, that was quite impressive.

"...Seriously?" He murmured, eyeing her curiously, just a bit of disbelief. She chuckled through her muzzle and nodded slowly, an unmistakable yes.

"And now a member of the Asterordo and one of our best unicorns is his plaything because of that joke!" Platinum yelled condemningly, almost making Luna flinch.

"Platinum."

Nopony was really sure which voice made Platinum freeze more; her father's scolding tone or Discord's cold warning. Regardless, she turned to Bullion first, "Father, she-"

"Made a joke, Daughter," Bullion interrupted sternly, "You would not believe the number of jokes I've made and received about who I may or may not arrange a marriage with," he stated flatly.

"Is it forty-two?" Discord asked with a smirk.

"Eighty-four, actually," Bullion answered without pause, never looking away from his daughter, "Now, Lord Discord? Could you kindly change back Lily Frost? I believe there are things that need to be confirmed."

"In a moment," Discord answered while still staring at Platinum, who glared back, "Is there something you need to say to me, Platinum?" He asked daringly.

"...Shouldn't you take the Alicorn since it was her suggestion?" Platinum suggested with a grumble, pretending not to notice how Celestia glared at her.

Discord smirked at that, "Nice try, but you don't get to sacrifice my friends. Not even to me."

Celestia and Luna shared a look, wondering what that meant exactly.

"So, virgin-preferred-but-not-required sacrifices?" Puddinghead asked with a drawl.

Discord rolled his eyes and scowled, "I'm not a rapist, Betty," He stated bluntly. The chancellor went wide eyed momentarily before calming down, not giving him any reply beyond that.

"Been a long time since anyone used her first name," Bullion commented under his breath, Starswirl nodding in agreement.

"My plan was never to force a mare to do unseemly things with me," Discord assured, reaching down to scratch Lily's head, who purred her approval, "Though, I didn't exactly expect ones to be jumping at me either," He commented with a chuckle as she shifted back to a white coated, green-maned mare as the muzzle fell off. Anyone looking under the table would have noted it unfolding, for lack of a better word, before scooting away like a starfish.

"Is there a particular reason she's still collared?" Celestia asked warily.

"Is there a reason for me to _**not**_ be collared, Lady Celestia?" Lily Frost countered suggestively.

"...Lucky son of a sard...," Gust mouthed with an eye twitch.

"Still nasty?" Meshen asked as he glanced up at Gust, who nodded, still pinning the cot's ears down, "Is nasty stuff all grown-ups do...?" Meshen murmured to himself with a frown, making Gust wheeze in his chest.

This was the real reason not to bring young ones to adult meetings- their innocent commentary made everything into a comedy!

"Should we assume that you are indeed willing in this arrangement, Lily Frost?" King Bullion asked with a hum.

Lily Frost nodded her head, almost a bow, as she smiled at the monarch, "Yes, King Bullion. If Lord Discord will have me, I am more than willing to be his...sacrifice," Lily Frost assured, adding unneeded amounts of suggestiveness as far as many were concerned.

Bullion apparently wasn't one of them, taking it in stride. Starswirl, however, had a twitching brow, "Lucky immortal flankhole," he grumbled, rubbing his forehead under his hat.

"But...why?" Puddinghead asked, both on her own behalf and Platinum's disbelieving look.

"Hmmm, if you want a political answer, I've given you all a dozen years to work out the finer details of how things between the three tribes and Lord Discord," Lily Frost mused airily, her smirk amused, "Personally? I saw an extremely magically powerful male that was looking for a mare to...entertain him," She elaborated with a giggle.

"You have a power fetish," Discord summed up with a hum of approval, having been staring at her with interest this entire time, among other things. Lily Frost returned the look as well.

"Reminds me of younger days with the queen," Bullion mused nostalgically.

"Father?!" Platinum hissed in disbelief, to Bullion's amusement.

In the back of his head, Discord laughed as he realized while most leaders would worry about somepony insulting his mate after letting that line slip, Bullion didn't have that problem because nopony here was stupid enough to tempt his wrath.

"Ignoring that," Hurricane spoke up, glancing across Discord to Lily Frost, "Are you sure you want to go through with this?" He asked with a scowl.

"Commander, seconds ago I just laid down while muzzled and leashed to his throne without complaint or worry," Lily stated flatly, "If I wasn't having second thoughts by then, what makes you think I have them now?"

Witty, willing, clever, magically gifted herself, at least a little crazy and even a bit kinky? Yep, Discord's interest was beyond piqued.

Luna looked between Lily Frost and Discord repeatedly, wondering briefly just what she had started. But seeing the looks on both parties' faces, she couldn't find a single thing to feel guilty about.

Celestia just sighed, rubbing her hoof on the bridge of her nose. She was almost regretting letting these two meet...or re-meet, rather.

"Well," Bullion spoke up with a small smile, "I suppose that settles that then. Lord Discord, it seems you have your sacrifice."

Discord grinned, a bit wider than normal as his tail wrapped around Lily's barrel, making her shiver in approval, "And you lot are officially my tenants!" He declared, holding his right arm and moving his left up to his arm pit before pulling out a banner with the words **"Welcome (** _ **Officially**_ **) To Your New Home, Ponies!"** in bold on it. "...We'll work out and adjust the finer details over the decade as we need to. For now, I think we agree this is bad timing for that," Discord mused offhoofedly.

"Is there anything else we need to discuss?" Puddinghead asked with a sigh as Gust tentatively removed his hooves from Meshen's ears.

"Well, we do have to work on setting up a town soon. We can't just live out of tents forever," Starswirl mused.

"I'd recommend getting Clover and Smart Cookie to start that project," Discord commented idly, faking innocent curiosity as his ears twitched up, "By the way, where is that little mare?" He asked, noticing the somber looks on the faces of Clover, Starswirl, Pansy and Puddinghead.

"She's...with her parents," Clover answered softly.

Discord didn't push the subject. He already understood enough, "I see. Well, either way, that's probably something you three tribes have to figure out on your own," Discord mused as he rose from his throne, vanishing it- and Lily's collar to her slight disappointment.

"The rest of us have to attend to said tribes as it is," Hurricane pointed out with a hum, "It's best if we call this meeting to a close."

"Agreed," Puddinghead and Platinum echoed as they all stood up.

"Lord Discord, it was a pleasure to finally meet you," Bullion bid farewell with a nod.

Discord cocked an eyebrow ever so slightly, but smiled none the less, "Pleasure was all mine, Papaking," He returned as the king left with his daughter, before turning to Gust and Meshen, "Gust, my good stallion, take a nap already! You haven't rested since I found you in that winter wonderland of a bugbear trap," Discord instructed in amusement.

"Ha, no promises," Gust responded with a smirk, "Thanks again, Lord Discord, for everything. I don't care what gripe Platinum, Pudding, or even Hurricane might have with you, you're okay in my book."

"...Huh, I thought you ponies were a bit on the xenophobic side?" Discord inquired thoughtfully.

Gust shrugged, "Save a few hundred ponies of each tribe and you'll find yourself very easy for us to like," Gust explained in an obvious tone before turning to the colt, "Well, it's been fun kid. See you around," Gust prompted with a smile as he left with his commander.

"Bye Gust! Bye Lord Cord!" Meshen waved as he galloped over to Puddinghead and leaping to hug her, said mare embracing him back with a loving smile, "Auntie! Why were you talking about nasty things with Lord Cord?" He asked curiously.

The chancellor looked very sheepish at the question as she approached the chimeric entity, "...Thank you, for saving my brother and nephew," She said with a smile, all the political masks melting away for a second. Discord just smiled and nodded in return, "Come on, Messy, let's see if your father woke up yet," she said, hoping the colt had forgotten the " _nasty_ " topic. By his excitement, it had worked.

"...Auntie? Nephew?" Discord repeated, stroking his chin as the Chancellor left as well, the colt happily trotting along with her.

"Oh, don't even pretend like you didn't know who he was," Celestia retorted with an eye roll.

"I didn't!" Discord swore, not sure to be surprised or amused. Herald and Meshen were actually common names in this era and the Chancellor's nephew never did anything of note in the last timeline, so Discord didn't have a reason to suspect the colt was anypony important.

"Discord, we can scarcely believe you didn't know already that Lily Frost was your sacrifice after that little transformation scene, let alone that you were ignorant of Herald Meshen being the Chancellor's nephew," Luna pointed out with a smirk.

"I think her part of that "scene" had more to do with her than me," Discord retorted with a smirk, Lily feigning innocence...poorly, "And I **still** want to write a book."

"So, does that mean we're never going to see Lily again?" Silkdial questioned dryly as the rest of the order approached.

"Don't worry, I'll be sure she gets plenty of food, fresh air and exercise," Discord assured playfully with a smirk as he looked down at Lily.

Everypony shivered. It wasn't a dark or evil grin but it certainly was predatory.

Lily's inviting smirk made it a bit less unnerving, but still.

"That doesn't actually answer the question, you know?" Starswirl pointed out in amusement.

"Horn-Hat, if you never see her again, it's just because she doesn't want to leave," Discord answered suggestively.

"A distinct possibility," Lily mused with a chuckle.

"...Can you two seriously just go off and get the sard out of your system?" Silkdial suggested flatly.

Count Lumen coughed at that, "Not how I'd put it, but yes, I keep thinking you two are about to make the Bi-Backed Beast right in front of us at this rate."

"Sorry, I legitimately wasn't planning on a mare throwing herself at me," Discord apologized with a chuckle of his own: one sixth sheepish, one sixth aroused, and two thirds amused.

"And it being unexpected makes you love it all the more," Clover summed up evenly.

"You know me so well," Discord quipped with a fake sniff of happiness.

"Don't worry, everypony, I'll be around sooner or later," Lily assured before smirking playfully, "Can't leave you all to become prudes, now can I?"

Discord shook his head in amusement as he turned back to the Alicorns, "Ladies, I'll be heading back to the more chaotic side of things in a bit, to let the tribes work things out for now. If anypony needs me, you two just come looking and you'll find me."

"Thank you, Discord, we appreciate that," Celestia said with a smile and nod.

"Don't be a stranger," Luna called with a smirk.

"Stranger? Never! Starswirl is the Stranger, while I am The Strangest!" Discord declared proudly with an overdramatic pose, claws over his chest and a sudden chorus of trumpets sounding in the distance. This prompted several eye rolls and at least two sighs.

"Do keep an eye on this one for us, Lily Frost," Celestia requested, eyeing the Draconequus like he was a delinquent, "In spite of...or perhaps because of his powers, he always seems to find trouble."

"I am **quite** capable of finding trouble without my powers, thank you very much," Discord rebuked in pretend offense.

"Don't worry, Guardians, I don't intend to be leaving him alone much," Lily Frost assured with a straight face.

"...Really?" Nodus deadpanned after a long silence.

Discord snorted as he snapped his claws and talons, he and Lily fading away with a gust of wind.

"...Oh, dear _sard_!" Luna cursed with a facehoof, "I just realized what I did."

"Now? Now is when you're mind kicks in!?" Clover asked in disbelief.

"I just now realized we might be dealing with baby versions of Discord in the near future," Luna lamented as Clover gaped in disbelief.

"I wouldn't worry about that," Starswirl mused, "If our mismatched friend can't prevent conception, I'll eat my hat."

"Can I get that in writing?" Luna asked with a smirk.

"Luna, I will spank you like Bullion should Platinum," Starswirl warned in a monotone.

"...Copper, is everypony going insane but me?" Clover asked slowly.

"Clover, I was just made of sand and you were a pile of crystals," Copper reminded with a smile.

"...Right," Clover acknowledged, her tone resigned to the madness.

"I need a drink," Silkdial murmured, "Lumen, come on, I need somepony to make sure I don't do something stupid."

The count raised an eyebrow at that but shrugged, deciding that was a legitimate point.

 **Meanwhile**

Lily was only slightly surprised when they appeared somewhere else in the camp, causing several ponies to leap back and gasp at his arrival, "Lord Discord?" She asked curiously, patiently.

Discord sighed, legitimately, "Sorry, Frosty. I have some bits of business to deal with before we leave," He explained with a smile that wasn't quite real, "You can come if you want but if you'd rather go kill time, just don't get caught. And if you do always say you it was someone with a ten/six hat," Discord instructed, somewhere right between serious and joking, as he began to float off in the desired direction.

He wasn't surprised when he didn't feel her coming along. She was a smart filly and unless he was utterly wrong, this would be dubbed a private matter.

As before, ponies looked at him with wonder and thanks or fear and distrust. He paid little mind to either. His approval rating would be in flux until things calmed down, so best just to let them make up their minds a bit more then work from there.

He slinked through the air with a small frown to a large tent guarded by six ponies, two of each tribe. It was large enough for a couple dozen ponies to sleep in.

There were dark jokes there he refused to use.

His flight slowed yet didn't halt as he came to the entrance and glanced at a pegasus, the closest guard to his left. They made eye contact and Discord briefly wondered if the feathered pony would try to stop him. For one reason or another, the soldier never did.

Discord quietly passed into the white tent, taking in the rather gloomy imagery: two lines of clothes covering twenty-seven pony shapes, most regular sized while two of them were small and one was...tiny. A few ponies stood within the tent, some crying and others refusing to show tears.

And standing before the gap between two clothes was the yellow-and-green maned mare, her head dipping heavily.

The immortal silently flew over and took a seat beside her but stayed just out of her view. It was quite rare for him to stand or sit as a quadruped, but it felt needed here. He made sure to curl his tail around to his side to not block or trip anypony walking by.

Like several others, these two had helmets on the shrouds to mark them as soldiers. These were bronze colored helmets to be exact, signifying Earth Ponies while the Pegasi had storm-grey and the Unicorns settled for silver.

"Mum wasn't a soldier," Smart Cookie said out of the blue, still not looking up, "Not anymore, at least. Mares in the army can leave early with a pension when they have a foal…future of the tribe and all that. She came back on just for this migration," She mused with bitter, hollow amusement.

Neither of them died last time for over a decade. Was there some dark, cosmic irony to Smart Cookie becoming an orphan in this timeline? After all, while she wasn't really Applejack, Smart Cookie was her equivalent in this age…that Hearth's Warming play may have been all too fitting with its casting.

"I didn't have one bad feeling about this. Not a one, until I saw the first part of the tribes running here, exhausted and scared out of their minds," She lamented before scowling deeply. "Then you showed back up with everypony else safe and sound...except the ones here of course," she added on with a tone of contempt.

Discord didn't flinch, didn't say a word…didn't react at all. He just sat there and let the mare talk.

"I do NOT hate you," She spat as tears began to swell in her eyes again, "I just hate that you _didn't save them_."

She finally looked up at him, scowling and looking like she wanted to say so much more, but just couldn't make the words come out.

Smart Cookie's eyes went wide as she found herself loosely embraced by the soft touch of a lion's paw, held loosely against the rougher fur of the serpentine body. She only resisted a little before she gave in, sobbing quietly into his side. Discord took it in stride and began stroking her mane lightly.

If he was honest with himself, he was mostly imitating Fluttershy right now, but it was serving him well. He didn't have much experience with helping a mortal through heartache and tragedy. But he did understand the idea of them needing to latch onto something or someone. He had doubts if he was a suitable life vest, but...coming here felt like something he should do. Why, he wasn't perfectly sure, but not making sense was his thing anyway.

There was a brief part of him that considered throwing his memories back to himself from yesterday, but let that notion fade away. He wasn't about to hit reset whenever things didn't go his way, no matter how like himself that probably seemed to others. In the end, he'd still be here with a mare crying over her dead parents. And his new self would probably become so overly concerned with the immediate survival of all ponies, he'd overlook their long term survival.

Idly, he wondered how Twilight and the others would react to him postponing getting to know Lily Frost better, wink-wink, to help a grief-stricken mare. Except Fluttershy, she'd just awww. Strike that, he didn't wonder, they'd all awww. Or cry, hard to tell with this depressing moment.

It was a good thing, he decided, that a nostalgic smile could look a lot like a sad or sympathetic one. Otherwise ponies might have thought ill of him for smiling too much as he comforted Smart Cookie in front of the bodies of her parents.

 **End of Chapter:**

And there we have it. The mood of this chapter hops all over the place, but with Discord, that's a bit of a given. Hope you all found something to enjoy out of that: we had funny scenes, slightly perverted scenes, sad/deep scenes, etc.

So, yes, Discord isn't quite sure how to react to a mare throwing herself at him or one that's crying, but he's trying to handle both, so, props. Next chapter will probably have a bit more between Discord and Smart Cookie before he heads off with Lily Frost.

And a book written by Discord...why am I imagining some Lord of the Rings/Harry Potter class of novel written inspired my Dr .Seuss settings and modeled after the Principia Discord, all with a Robot Chicken style? Be like a text-induced drug trip.

 **Review Responses**

 **ShiningShadow1965** \- Yep. He's doing a bit of head bashing too, but that's a given. Well, she moreor less said that, while leashed and muzzled.

 **Xion The XIV** \- Well, there is someone in canon that kind of is Discord's opposite- Starlight Glimmer, a former villain that was all about "equality" and no, not in the good way. Needless to say, she's very order aligned...and now a reformed villain like Discord and Twilight's student.

Still, always love to hear I won over someone that's not much of an MLP fan. XP

 **thecrimsonjaguar** \- good luck!

 **The Keeper of Worlds** \- Agreed, but the image of a snow one is strangely funny. Glad you approve of Discord's methods- was a bit worried some would think Discord is just brushing the deaths off rather than using them as a reason to NOT start a war. As for Bullion and Meshen, you'll see plenty of them in the future.

 **duskrider** \- Well, Smart Cookie is an orphan now. But, yes, the next contact with Griffons and first contact with Changeling will play out interestingly with Discord.

 **UnsanMusho** \- Yeah, the tension isn't always at the surface, but its still there. And Bullion has a interesting story, in the past and present timeline.

 **nightmaster000** \- Oh yeah, don't worry, Discord history's with the other races will come up- in fact, it'll be touched on in the next chapter or so.

 **waysmarter1** \- Thanks!


	8. A Strange God of a Strange Land

Discord's Rewrite

I don't own MLP

Summary: Thanks to Starlight's spell, Discord sends himself a present, two thousand years in the past: his future memories. This timeline will witness Discord, the Benign-Chaos, aiding the young princesses. Still, the ponies are going to have to learn to live with a bit more Chaos in their lives. Oh well, builds character.

Regular Speak

 _Thoughts and Flashbacks_

 **Demonic or Animalistic Speak**

 _ **Demonic or Animalistic Thoughts**_

Discord sat with Smart Cookie for a good five minutes before she seemed content with the tears she had shed, pulling away from him and wiping her eyes dry. "...Would it s be kind or cruel thing to tell you how they died?" Discord asked neutrally, the mare's expression taken back. "I'm not used to helping with grief, I'll admit, but I understand that knowing how a loved one dies sometimes provides others with, what the word? Ah, yes, closure."

"Not...not one of those times," Smart Cookie croaked, her throat still sore from crying.

"If you were expecting some sympathetic and apologetic speech, I'm sorry to say I don't sell those," Discord jested ever so slightly, not even trying to smile.

"Let me guess, an immortal like you ain't got time for some dumb filly's dead parents?" Smart Cookie snipped with a shaky smirk that was ready to turn into a snarl or another sob any moment.

"I'm here, aren't I?" he reminded with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah, but I can't guess why," Smart Cookie retorted, her face morphing into a scowl, "You saved more than we lost. I'd hate that we lost anypony, but you saved more than we ever could have. I might not like it, but you got nothing to be ashamed of."

"Isn't it obvious?" Discord asked, feigning ignorance with a head tilt. "I'm here to remind you that you're not alone."

The adviser to Puddinghead stared at him for a moment. "We spoke all of one time when you snuck into camp," Smart Cookie reminded with a snort. "I don't think you know me well enough to say stuff like that."

"I know that you have friends, Smart Cookie. Friends that would do almost anything to help you," Discord reminded with a soft frown.

"Y-yeah, well, there ain't any helping this," Smart Cookie said with an empty chuckle before looking down with a sigh. "Sorry about that. It's just, w-well, I'm a bit lost on what do to now," Smart Cookie murmured.

Discord hummed at that, fiddling with his beard, "Do you want to hear what you should do, or what you have to do?"

"Is there a difference?" Smart Cookie asked with a raised eyebrow.

"You should pull yourself together, because the tribes need you. Your boss almost lost her pudding and Clover wasn't even trying to be clever with Platinum," he answered calmly, frowning as he saw shadows walking outside the tent. "It's a sad day when the Lord of Mischief has to tell a group of leaders to get their act straight."

"...And what do I have to do?" Smart Cookie inquired with a raised eyebrow.

"Whatever you feel the need to do," Discord responded simply, "You have one life, Cook. No one will blame you for stepping off the stage to take a break." The two just sat there for a moment as Discord smirked a bit, "But you don't trust most of the others not to sink this ship without you, so it's all a bit of a moot point."

Smart Cookie let out a choked chuckle, "Not...not really. One is me doing it for others; the other is doing it for myself. They just happen to be the same thing this time," she mused softly, letting out a breath as she bowed her head, "...Thank you."

"Thank me in twenty some years if the tribes haven't fallen apart," Discord retorted with a snort of purple smoke, a relatively pleasant scent spreading out to mask the scent of death.

"I'll do that," Smart Cookie answered with a sigh, feeling the weight on her withers just a touch lighter. "I thought you didn't sell speeches?"

"You didn't pay me," Discord retorted in amusement. "...Keep an eye on Clover."

"...What?" Smart Cookie asked in surprise, looking up to see him scowling upwards at nothing.

"Clover is up to something. If I had to guess, she's going to suggest something really stupid that Starswirl already disagrees with," Discord elaborated casually. "It'd probably means more for you to talk to her than anypony else, save Pansy."

"Horn heads, always thinking a little hocus pocus can fix everything," Smart Cookie muttered in annoyance. Discord might have commented on that if he didn't narrow his eyes as his tail twitched. "What's wrong?" The earth pony questioned in concern as she caught his expression.

"I'm sorry to rob you of my presence but I fear I might be needed elsewhere," he informed, sounding displeased.

Smart Cookie was neither surprised nor alarmed by Discord suddenly melting away into a pool of shadows. "That's...just plain freaky," she commented slowly as she watched the shadow of Discord slither out under the tent. She should be concerned about what he was doing, but she felt too drained to be of help and too...exposed, for lack of a better word.

When she looked back towards the corpses that had once been her parents, she stopped as her eyes caught something.

Where Discord had sat now grew two small flowers, with a yellow stem and green petals that almost looked like pentagons.

The advisor to Chancellor Puddinghead smiled for the first since she got the news.

 **Meanwhile**

Lily Frost wasn't an idiot, nor was she deaf to the hushed whispering as the ponies looked to her curiously. Apparently, suddenly appearing alongside the mysterious native chimera with unmeasurable magic caught the attention of others rather quickly.

"Lady Frost, correct? Of Asterordo?" A beige earth pony asked questioningly. His mane and tail were a color between red and orange with touches of grey, more likely from stress than age. By his less than ragged green cloak, he was somepony of decent wealth and possibly nobility.

"That would be I, Lord Stallion," she acknowledged carefully as she heard the whispering become less hushed and more active.

While the Pegasi and the earth ponies knew the unicorns handled the sun and moon, the names of the group and members weren't common knowledge among them until the migration.

"Grubble Groke. Not a lord, milady, merely a gentlecolt," he introduced with a nod of respect that she returned. "Forgive me, but I and the other arrivals are having trouble understanding the situation correctly, I believe. That...creature you were with, that saved those trapped in the Pass? He is...Discourse?" he asked uncertainly.

Lily Frost's polite smile was touched with amusement at that. "You mean Lord Discord, yes. He is the resident of these lands, the ruler as it were."

"Yes, I have heard such things," Grubble answered with a thoughtful frown, his brow scrunching. "Am I to understand the leaders are negotiating with him about our right to stay on these lands?"

"In a manner. He prefers it more as the "ground rules" of us residing in his territory," Lily Frost corrected vaguely.

"And by what right does that chimera impose any laws upon us?" A voice called, rather hotly.

The white coated unicorn fought back a frown but permitted herself to raise an eyebrow at the source approaching her. It was a Pegasus mare with a green-blue coat and a pure blue mane covered in grey armor. Her bright pink eyes narrowed at Lily Frost.

 _'I get the impression that Pegasi have the most extremes of good and bad among their members,'_ Lily mused to herself. "You look familiar. Have we met?" she asked with a head tilt.

The Pegasus scowled thoughtfully at the unicorn. "No, sun-mover, I don't recognize your face," she answered bluntly.

"Hmm, strange. Still, as for what right, there is the simple matter of him residing here before us," Lily pointed out.

"One sentient creature residing here does not make these lands his property," The soldier retorted firmly

"It is when he has the power to defend it from intruders. Venture far enough south and you'll see Lord Discord's influence over this realm," Lily Frost defended evenly.

"So, you say that we are threatened into an agreement? And that our leaders allow this hybrid to go unchallenged?" The flying mare asked with a glare.

Lily Frost schooled her expression as she heard the mumbling around her. This could go badly, now or later. "I would hardly call it forced. You would need to ask your Commander for specifics, but compensating Lord Discord to rent and perhaps purchase the lands to build a new home is the civilized thing to do. The simple matter is that we came looking for a new home and found a realm that was already claimed. We're not thieves and brutes, my good mare. We do not simply take from others because it is convenient for us," Lily Frost explained.

"And Pegasi don't just roll over and expose our bellies and necks to someone that wants a pound of flesh!" the aggressor retaliated fiercely.

There were several cheers in the crowd at that.

"Madam, please!" Grubble spoke up, glaring lightly. "While I am sure we are all cautious and concerned about the intentions of this Discord, surely saving those at Canter Pass grants him some benefit of doubt?"

There was much nodding among the gathered ponies.

"It does not give him the right to pretend to be our better," The mare retorted, turning her ire back to Lily Frost. "Nor does it give him the right to take mares, our mothers and daughters, as sacrifices," she added on bitingly.

The grumbling in the crowd got much louder at that.

"Oh, is that what you're upset about? The suggestion for his tribute?" Lily Frost asked with a coy smile.

It threw the female warrior for a loop, "Yeeeees?" she answered suspiciously.

"Then put your fears to rest, good soldier. Lord Discord has no intention of forcing any mares to serve him," Lily Frost answered, reassuring and appeasing.

So why did the pegasus get the feeling she was left out of a joke?

"OOH OOH AAH!"

Every pony jumped back, several of them screaming shrilly, as a...it could only be described as a monkey with a body made out of the words "monkey" in varying sizes and text styles, with an "O" and an "e" as eyes and a long "M" as its mouth when closed. It leapt down from nowhere, jumping up and down while pointing at the Pegasus.

On instinct, the warrior mare struck the text-beast, sending its surprisingly ultralight body flying…right into a talon grip.

"I think that's enough monkey-wording-around for one day," Discord said with an amused yet dry look on his face as the monkey's letters started to backspace out of existence. He floated above the ponies, leisurely at that. They all stood, wide eyed in disbelief; the newcomers did at least, still unused to this entity.

Especially the pegasus mare, tense and looking almost like a mother manticore had had caught her in its den.

"I take it your business is concluded, Lord Discord?" Lily Frost asked with a certain amount of smugness at how on edge the adversarial Pegasus was now.

The God of Chaos curled his lips widely as he floated down and over to his " _sacrifice_ ," curling his body so that it subtly guarded her left, right, and rear. "Oh yes, just paying some respects, as I believe it's called. I see you've been making some friends while I was away," he noted playfully as he turned to the new mare.

She stared back with a hard stare, daring him to do anything.

Discord smirked coyly as he obliged her affably.

"Hello, Sub-Lieutenant Faest Brisa."

The chill of the Frozen North hit her veins all at once, making her stiffen and freeze completely.

"Do send my regards to Lieutenant Arcus for me after this. He seemed not to be taking what happened at the pass too well," Discord commented vaguely with what almost could pass for a touch of sympathy.

She said nothing, did nothing, willing herself not to react further on the outside. He knew who she was, why she was here and where she was going next. How?

"Now, if you'll excuse us, dear Lily Frost has arrangements with me back on my side of things," he started before raising his voice for most of the crowd to hear. "I'll be back within a week to help clear up any issues you ponies might still have with me. I hope you all settle in well while I'm away," he declared with a chuckle as he turned to the south.

He paused, glancing over at the earth stallion and addressed him idly, "Grubble Groke."

"Y-yes, Lord!" Groke choked out, a bit unnerved still by this unknown entity.

"You look too smart to be a stallion stumbling around for food," Discord praised jokingly. The stallions smiled sheepishly at the jab at his name as the immortal and the green-maned unicorn made to leave. "Shall we, my dear?" he asked coyly as he offered his lion paw to her.

"At your pleasure, My Lord," Lily Faust answered, playing along as she placed her hoof in it.

Faest's eyes blinked as recognition flashed through her eyes. "Wait, you...!?" she asked in disbelief, perhaps even revulsion while looking between what Faest knew was a good looking unicorn mare and the...mismatched abomination.

"Go look up the words " **consensual** " and " _voluntary_ " in a dictionary," Discord suggested, flashing them a peace sign with his talons before he and Lily vanished in a whoosh of wind…which, for some reason, smelt like honey and tasted like broccoli- not that any of the ponies knew what the later was.

 **Meanwhile**

Lily Frost blinked as she took in her surroundings. Was she dreaming? She had to be dreaming for the world to be this...senseless.

The ground below was like a giant grey and purple chess board, before giving way to a mountain of strawberry ice cream with an enormous blueberry on top in the north, a forest of licorice to the west, a seemingly ordinary lake to the south and the east had what she could only describe as a colossal plate spinning clockwise. Sitting on it were various, proportionately sized tea cups, metal and wooden mugs and what she guessed was a soup bowl…all spinning counter clockwise at that.

Of course, that was only the general theme of madness about her. She herself was on a small, upside down island in the middle of the sky. It was large enough to fit a small house on and had a small river that ran off two opposite sides of the island with no apparent source. There were also clouds randomly going poof to reveal a wooden bat- literally, a bat made of wood. Not to mention there was a large, serpent that was made of tumbled up seaweed down on the actual ground.

Did she forget to point out the floating toads playing various instruments that sprouted musical notes made of tacos?

"Welcome to my not-so-humble abode."

Lily turned sharply, almost enough to make her head fall off, to look at the draconequus, sitting upside down on his throne. Then again, his throne was perpendicular to the island she was standing on, so it looked more like he was straddling a cushy board of some kind. To anyone below, it'd probably just be more confusion.

He regarded her in amusement as she seemed to process a simple fact that she still had to question the validity of.

"This...is real?" she asked slowly, glancing out at the chaos once more. True, she had seen the Strangeness before- living rocks, flying trees, spatial distortions, but this was a bit more than all that…so much more, in fact.

"As real as I wish it to be, my dear," Discord answered mysteriously. As if to emphasize this, a banana floated through his chest before he grabbed it and stabbed it with a silly straw. With that, he started to drink from it without a care.

He watched as Lily stared out at the mess this part of the world had become. Slowly, the confusion and disbelief in her eyes faded, giving way to awe and wonder. "My god..." she whispered breathlessly.

"Yes, my frozen flower?" he asked coyly, suddenly behind her, his lion paw draped over her withers and stroking her chin.

He felt her shiver as his words and actions hit home. "I...I knew you were powerful, but this? Lord Discord, what possible need could you have of mortals like me?" Lily asked, suddenly feeling a bit overwhelmed and even insecure.

Discord chortled as picked her up effortlessly, sitting back in his sideways throne and setting her between his legs. She stiffened for a moment before realizing nothing lewd was being planned, yet, so she settled for curiosity as the chaos god made a wave of his talon, clouds beginning to amass just outside of his reach. "There are a few things I can say for certain that I haven't found a way to do," Discord mused idly, wiggling his digits to mold the mass of evaporated water into a form. "Like turning gold into lead."

"Why would...because everyone is trying to do the opposite?" Lily theorized, tilting her up to look at him.

"Precisely. Certain things just don't want to become certain things. Gold doesn't want to be lead, lead doesn't want to be wood, wood doesn't want to be obsidian, obsidian doesn't want to be soup," Discord lectured as the cloud took a fairly equine shape. "Granted, I can work around this, turning them into something else before turning them into what I want, but the point remains. Similarly, I am fully capable of creating life itself."

Lily had all of an instant to blink at that bomb-drop before she heard something collapse on the throne's backrest. She looked and saw...a pony…an earth stallion barely out of colthood with a blue coat, dark amber mane, and green eyes like a forest.

He shook his head, looking around curiously before staring at Lilly Frost.

"You...you just created a pony out of thin air..." Lily stuttered, almost feeling faint now.

"Only right technically, which is the only kind of right that's almost left," Discord murmured into her ear as the colt approached her.

"U-um, he-hello, I'm Lilly Frost?" she introduced to the stallion, who tilted his head as he sniffed her. "W-wat, what are yo-" Lily stopped as she looked at him, really looked at him and his eyes that paid no heed to her words. "He doesn't understand me?" she guessed in confusion.

"In theory he should, but he lacks the capacity to make anything of it," Discord explained, making a small bit of fire appear in his hand.

All at once, the stallion started making wild noises, neighing and thrashing as he backed as far away from the pair as possible.

"...He's mindless?" Lily summarized with a scrunched brow.

"I prefer non-sapient. He's a pony as far as his form, he even has the same kind of brain as a pony, yet he lacks any form of awareness and free-will beyond basic animal instincts. I've tried all sorts of things, including copying the knowledge of a wise mage into a blank slate. But for some reason, the ability to create free will in others is currently beyond me," Discord mused with a small, annoyed frown as he banished the flame and the wild pony turned back into clouds.

"So, you can only create wild animals?" Lily asked, trying to process this.

"Well, I can make them imitate a real personality, but it'd be much like a puppet on a string: not real, and perhaps even uncanny," Discord confessed with a shrug. "Hence you ponies: I can't create my own company and I've finally outgrown being content with my solitude."

Lily Frost looked startled by that for half a second before looking back out over the lands. In the Land of Strangeness, Discord was like an almighty god, but he was more like a great plateau than a mountain. There wasn't just nothing around near his level, there was nothing at all besides a sheer drop. Nothing that could speak and think at the very least; A god all alone in his omnipotence.

Discord made a lot more sense than he'd like to admit, Lily Frost realized.

"...Why us?" Lily Frost asked slowly, staring out.

Discord smiled with a brief laugh in his throat as he ran a claw through Lily's mane. "That is a story for another time. Now, I think it's time I showed you your new home."

Lily Frost tilted her head up at him. "You mean your home, right?" she questioned curiously.

He gave a good natured eye roll, which made his eyes spin like bowling balls for a few seconds. "This all is my home, Frosty. You ponies, however, are more inclined to something more finite and stable. So, I whipped up something mostly-finite and semi-stable."

If Lily Frost wanted to question that, she didn't get a chance to as the backseat of the throne suddenly tilted with a clanking noise, causing her to slide off it in surprise and fall…technically upwards, landing on a red and white striped waterslide, one she slipped down with pink liquid splashing all about her. A feeling of panic and nausea filled her as she sped through twists, turns and gravity defying loops.

Just as she thought it might never end, she found herself falling into the open air...and right into Discord's arm. She stared at him owlishly as he held her with his lion paw, his talons holding an orange and blue polka dot umbrella.

She didn't even process that pink water dripping around them was turning into mounds of silver as they landed. She just stared up at his innocent, coy expression as she processed what just happened.

"...I'm filled with a strange feeling of terror and excitement," Lily informed numbly.

"I thought you weren't a virgin?" Discord retorted with mock-confusion.

She sighed and smiled, "Okay, I tr-..."slid" right onto that one," she responded with a suggestive look...which quickly turned to curiosity. "What am I covered in, exactly?"

"Lemonade," Discord answered bluntly.

"Lemon-what?" Lily inquired with a scrunched brow.

Discord deadpanned at that. "You ponies are killing me," he lamented dramatically. "It's lemon juice."

"...It's pink," Lily Frost pointed out, already smiling.

"Pink Lemonade," Discord countered with an impish smile.

Lily Frost decided to give a 'sard it' to the situation and took a lick off her hooves, "Hmm, not bad," she noted in approval.

"Just be glad it's not the original kind of pink lemonade," Discord warned in amusement as he snapped his tail. Instantly, the waterslide and his umbrella were gone and the remaining lemonade fell freely from the air, turning into a trail of silver. "Now, let's go get you cleaned up," he suggested as he began walking to a cave that Lily wasn't entirely sure had been there this whole time.

"I'd ask why you don't just use your powers to clean me, but where's the fun in that?" Lily Frost commented playfully.

"Exactly, my dear," Discord agreed as he continued carrying her. "Wait, am I supposed to carry you across the threshold?" he asked in idle interest.

Lily Frost pondered that question before shrugging. "So, do you think some of the ponies will still be upset when you go back?"

"Oh, there are going to be plenty of ponies upset with me. First I got to let them decide what they're all upset about though," Discord answered calmly.

"What do you mean?" Lily questioned, having some idea herself.

"Well, some will be like your new friend, upset that I'm taking mare " _sacrifices_ ". Others will be more like Lieutenant Arcus, upset with my general presence and imposing my rules on you equines," Discord elaborated.

"How did you know she was going to report to him and not the Commander?" Lily inquired, having been wondering about that.

"Because I know she's been sarding him," Discord answered without pause, ignoring her surprise. "And there will even be ones upset that I only have a unicorn sacrifice, instead of one of each tribe. There will be a few other reasons, but those will probably be the primary ones."

"And how do you intend to deal with them?" Lily Frost wondered, almost grinning.

"That shall be a surprise," he assured with a grin. It wasn't evil, it wasn't predatory, but it wasn't nice. "Ah, here we are," he said as that came to a stop inside the cave.

Lily Frost blinked owlishly at the out of place door at the back of the cave. It was just a plain, sea-green door in a stone wall. She could only wonder what was inside.

"By the way?" Discord questioned, looking down at her. "How do you know Faest Brisa?"

"...Her brother died trying to kill my mother," Lily Frost answered with a stone faced look on her normally playful face.

She was reward with a god's surprise. Not his shock, just his surprise, but it was still something. "Well, you just became even more interesting, my dear sacrifice," he commented, one edge of his mouth pulled back in a half-grin as he reached for the doorknob. "Well, time to begin the grand tour."

 **Author's Note:**

Oi, sorry for the wait here. I've been painting, job hunting, dealing with family, etc.

Anyway, so, Discord comforted Smart Cookie a bit more, dealt with an agent of Arcus, and showed Lily Frost his home. Sorry if Discord's realm was hard to follow ,but it's Discord's chaos, so its meant to be a bit surpising.

And while Discord is nigh-omnipotent, there are some things even he can't yet figure out.

Things are starting to brew among the ponies regarding Discord, but he does have a plan for it. The next chapter will probably be a time skip of up to a week, as Discord said. Sorry you don't get to see Lily's new home. XP

Hope this was worth the wait!

PS Ah, also, I'm making a Alicorn King CYOA thing. You can see the rough draft of what me and my beta made already in my blog. If anyone has suggestions or questions, feel free to leave them.

 **Review Response:**

 **lilyoftheval5** \- Thank you! Both are very fun for me to write.

 **Drakolf** \- Well, this chaper isn't much in the way of plot, but this basically the closing of Discord's first impressions on the ponies.

 **Dreameater2579** \- Well, it was and it wasn't. It was kind of suppose to look like a lizard version of Scar from Lion King. XP

 **ShiningShadow1965** \- He's trying, yes, and succeding in a lot of ways. Still, managing the tribes will be a little tricky, but he never said he didn't like a bit of challenge in his life.

 **Sgt. Nolisten-** Also true.

 **The Keeper of Worlds** \- Thanks, I had fun with Meshen and the transformations. Gustzilla came out of nowhere but I loved it. And yes, sad moments for Cookie and others. Andyes, Lily Frost will be fun.

 **duskrider** \- It'd be funny to see their reactions. XP Plano n writing them watching this fic one day.

 **UnsanMusho** \- Trst me, Discord will debate at times if him being on their siding is doing more harm than good at times.

 **Xion The XIV** \- True.


	9. Meetings of Gods, Kings, and Magic

Discord's Rewrite

I don't own MLP.

 **Meeting of Gods**

Barely a day had passed since Discord had left with Lily Frost. While Smart Cookie and Clover the Clever began to craft a rough draft for a village layout, Private Pansy helped the leaders of the three tribes in preparing a burial ceremony for all those fallen in Canter Pass.

The whole event left a certain pair of Alicorns more drained than they cared to admit or show, keeping their visages solemn and calm. But now as they flew among the clouds, they allowed themselves to sigh as the exhaustion hit them.

"Sister?" Luna called over the gentle wind, the sun still high in the sky until Discord deigned to lower it.

"Yes, Luna?" Celestia asked, looking for a decent cloud to land on in the annoyingly clear sky.

"Do you...do you think this will last? This peace between the tribes?" Luna asked with a look of doubt and worry. "I know we've longed for this, but even now, some ponies are still riling each other against one another."

"I believe you mean especially now," Celestia retorted with a scowl as she recalled Lieutenant Arcus. While not openly saying anything, she had seen quite a few guards on all sides giving the other tribes overly suspicious looks. After what likely happened at the pass, it was a potential powder keg. "I don't know, Sister, truly. But the best we can do is try to guide them."

"Oh, you can do a bit more than that, Princess."

Both ascended mares came to a halt with only barely surprised eyes, looking up to see a pink cloud above them, with Discord peeking over one side to grin at them.

Luna glanced down quickly, seeing that they had flown much farther than they intended. The camp was far away and they were close to where lush fields and bountiful forests abruptly ended in favor of the Strangelands, Discord's pink-grey checkerboard realm of untold mysteries. "Are we back in your territory?" Luna asked in surprise.

"Just outside it, but I smelt an infestation of immortal angst and decided to come clean out your heads," he informed, waving them to come up and join him as the cloud tripled in size and a "hatch" opened on the bottom, despite the ease with which they could fly around or through it.

Luna obliged him without a word, flying up to take a seat. Celestia, however, didn't exactly trust the size of the opening and just flew around to the upper side.

The two sisters were a bit amused to find the Draconequus with a fishing rod. "It's also about time for the sun to come down," he mused with a toothy expression as he brought back the rod before casting it hard, sending the hook flying impossibly far...into the horizon opposite of the sun.

Celestia was about to say something before quickly shutting her mouth and chancing a glance at the sun. As she heard the fishing rod reeling in its "catch," she could see the sun slowly inching across the sky to its appropriate horizon. "...That ALMOST makes sense," Celestia muttered as she turned back to Discord, Luna giggling at her expense.

He gave her a sidelong grin, his rod planted firmly in the cloud as his tail held the shaft steady and his draconic foot continued cranking it. "I'm very inconsistent, even with my inconsistency," he mused playfully, getting halfhearted eye rolls. "...I'd pretend to be completely tactless and ask what's eating you both, but I'll just skip to the important part," Discord stated neutrally. "It's not your fault."

"We should have been there," Celestia muttered, more to herself than to him.

"And bees shouldn't be able to fly without magic. That doesn't make it true nor is it their fault," Discord countered, almost offhoofedly. "If we're getting into all the ways to lay blame for this recent mess of ours, we'd be here for a whole year. The tribes probably could have all come separately, Hurricane could have brought his second-in-problem with him instead of leaving him in command, King Bullion could have known to keep an eye on Arcus, the Earth Ponies could have found a less dangerous route for them all," Discord listed off as the fun finally fell under the horizon, vanishing with a green flash.

"So, you're saying it's no one's fault except Arcus?" Luna asked with a dry smile.

"Well, you can always just blame me," Discord mused as he turned around and yanked on the line, hard before vanishing the fishing rod all together. One could almost hear the thump as the moon started to drift up into the night sky of stars.

The Alicorn sisters barely registered that, gobsmacked by Discord's words. "What do you mean, blame you?" Celestia asked in disbelief.

"You're the one that saved everypony and kept the tribes from falling into war!" Luna rebuked loudly.

"Yes, but I'm also the god here," Discord pointed out, keeping his attention on the moon. "I could have done a lot to stop it, much more than you. After all, I know the temperament of mortals better than most, so I did expect somepony to pull something, just not so soon. Unlike many, I never succumbed much to years dulling my reaction speed as time became less and less important. I could have at least had a closer eye on things. I could have just teleported everypony here. I could have let all three tribes live separately, at least at first. I could have done a lot, Celestia, Luna…but I didn't. Maybe it was a mistake, maybe it wasn't," he mused as he raised his claw to the heavens, the stars glimmering and moving to form into a line. The moon drifted towards it and made impact, bringing the moon to a halt and causing the gathered stars to burst and fall in a glorious shower of lights. "But in the end, there was nothing either of you could have done to make that situation better, which is the point I'm supposed to be making here."

The Alicorns stared in awe from behind him, of both Discord's words and his works. The lights rained down upon the world like a great celebration or...or a goodbye for the dead.

"Do we have a chance, Discord?" Celestia asked softly, bowing her head in doubt. "I want so badly for this peace to last, but...you claim to predate the sentiency of ponies. Does this truly have a chance?"

"Of course you have a chance!" Discord answered, turning to scowl at the mare. Only it wasn't a serious scowl. It was more like a pout as he thumped his chest. "God of Chaos! If I say it's possible, its possible! And if it's impossible, I'll make it possible!" he declared earnestly.

The two stared for a moment before smiling at the male that had quickly snuck his way into being their friend. Without another word, Luna came forward and hugged him with her forelegs around his stomach-area. "Lulu?" Discord asked curiously even as he placed a paw on her withers.

"I'm just...so happy to have met you, Discord," Luna answered with a smile as she wept lightly into his fur. "It's been...so long since we became immortals and started our vigil over ponykind. It is...so wonderful to not only have met another, but it to be someone we know we can rely on without doubt."

Discord stared at Luna in surprise and hesitated. Was he making the right decision? Would he be making these two young immortals come to rely on him, as an elder and more powerful immortal to look up to? Was that a bad thing at this stage?

Luna smiled as she felt Discord stroke her back.

Regardless of how this would affect her future development, Discord knew one thing: he had a friend crying and hugging him. There may be a difference between being nice and kind, but this was not one of those times. He was the God of Chaos. He had not sent his memories back over a thousand years to simply worry over keeping the script the same. It would be pointless to send another set of memories back to prevent the Canter Pass incident and it'd be pointless to try and keep his would-be enemies the same. He would not insure this Luna became the original Luna. The other Discord could worry about that Luna; he'd worry about this one. What she became was for her to decide and he'd welcome all the differences and similarities that came from this change of course. And the same went for Celestia and all the others to come.

Speaking of Celestia, Discord would never admit this, but he had been so deep in thought, he never noticed her joining the hug, wrapping him and Luna not only in her hooves but in her soft white wings.

"So, how is Lily Frost settling in?" Luna asked cheekily.

Celestia rolled her eyes with a sigh as the moment passed, all three ending the hug as Discord's grin turned stupid.

Despite all the grins he gave them, they didn't recall seeing that particular grin before.

 **Meeting of Kings**

King Bullion had never seen the Strangeness before, having not arrived until after it receded from the lands currently being occupied by the tribes.

That said, it was everything he expected.

He walked through Discord's Strangelands with a fair bit of fascination. Yes, it was exactly as he expected, a realm where reality was brought to heel by the imagination of something beyond his kind. Rather than a pink-grey checkerboard ground, he now stood over a strange lake of some sort. Whatever it was, it was solid and smooth and perfectly reflective. Only, the image was...warped, twisted in coloring; everything about his mirror self was wrong.

His reflection's coat was a horridly black coat. Not dark like the night or even a raven, but a disgusting and oily blackness. The mane was an off-putting acid green mane. Even if one didn't know what acid was, the color gave the impression that touching it was unhealthy. Upon the horned head was a crown yes, but a stark white one that made him think of nothing but a crown of bones, with bones too small to come from adults. And the eyes...the eyes were bright, soulless red eyes. The only thing that was even slightly redeemable was the out of place, sky-blue cape.

His disturbing not-reflection aside, he put an effort at noting the rest of the landscape.

There was no rhyme or reason to it, none known to ponykind at least.

He looked to the left and saw what looked like a giant mountain in the distance-…only for it to stand up and reveal it was only a close and oddly shaped turtle, which started to hop away almost like a rabbit.

To the right was a choir of what looked like adolescent dragons hanging from curly and impossibly-plush trees by their tail and singing with the high pitched voices of pigs and frogs.

Above him was a large, castle-sized object floating and lazily spinning about in place. He was not sure what it was, only that it was a six sided cube. Each side appeared to have a miniature of a different environment on them: sandy desert, grass fields, wide ocean, barren mountain wastes, frozen tundra, and deep forests. Even more odd was that each side was divided by deep lines to make nine squares.

In front of him was something that would terrify most other ponies; A giant creature, as big as any dragon. But instead of scales, it was feathered. An enormous bird of prey, with a beak that was sharp enough to pierce metal and large enough to swallow ponies whole. Luckily, it was resting upon a hill, its every breath lifting many pounds of feathers and a literal ton of avian flesh.

Most would assume this to be a manifestation of Discord's. Yet, Bullion couldn't help doubt that. True, he doubted size manipulation was outside the chimera's power, but it just looked so...ordinary compared to the rest. Outside of its size, it looked perfectly natural, down to the plain brown feathers. Not only that, but...there was a distinct lack of magic about the beast.

"Don't wake the Roc, Bullion."

The king was neither surprised nor worried by the voice appearing directly behind him. That said, when he turned to face the floating immortal and perceived the frown on his maw, Bullion knew Discord was being serious.

"The Rock?" the father of Platinum questioned curiously as he sat down, his warp-reflection doing as well.

"No-k, but yes," Discord answered idly, looking up towards the great bird before taking a seat next to the king. "As you probably guessed, Big Bird isn't one of my doings. He's all natural."

"And you don't chase him off?" Bullion asked, more curious than surprised. "I thought you made a point of defending these lands from invaders?"

"I do, but you ponies are just the only sentient exceptions I've made. Rocky here just rests and eats around here for a month or two before going back to his home in the west," Discord explained as the Roc let out a great screech of a yawn before flopping over on its back. "Something about a rough patch with his mate, I think."

"The woes of mated males are universal," Bullion jested as he glanced down at his not-reflection. "This is a very disturbing surface we're standing on."

"Why do you think you're the only one on it?" Discord countered with a smirk.

"Even more disturbing is that your image looks entirely unchanged," Bullion pointed out neutrally, glancing below Discord's feet to see a perfect reflection of the mismatched being.

The King of Chaos's smirk fell into a scowl as his gaze met the suspicious white eyes of the King of the Unicorns.

The tension was thicker than steel.

"Is there something you want to say, Bullion?" Discord asked knowingly.

Bullion nodded slowly as he stared at the immortal, "Nearly thirty winters ago, there was a griffon in our homelands, only known by the name Phiroth the Wingless: Merchant by trade, storyteller by profession," he started off in a careful but fond tone. "He once told me that the lands to the south of us were bountiful in gems and food. No one had ever conquered them, but many had tried. The last of them was a large pack of diamond dogs, who now whisper claims that a Cackling Demon made their own homes...spit them out before plaguing them with mud-birds and large rock-insects that chased them off, scattering their packmates to the four winds," He narrated.

Discord sat silently, unmoved by the tale.

"The second were the dragons. None know what happened to them, only that they returned fearfully whispering of a great serpent of the air that threatened to banish them and their bloodlines from the skies for all eternities if they returned," Bullion continued on without pause.

The phrase _"Banished from the sky"_ had dark implications amongst most winged races. Again, Discord just let the unicorn carry on.

"But the first was particularly interesting, from a much older time. It was said that as the Frozen North claimed more and more territory of the Crystal Empire during its height, they tried to form colonies south," Bullion paused, raising an eyebrow as Discord's gaze darkened. "According to Phiroth...what happened to those colonies sent such ripples through the Crystal Empire, that-"

"That most of the splintered tribes of the three pony races joined together and pushed the Crystal Empire back until they had only one city to their name," Discord interrupted knowingly, harshly. "All those tribes formed into what would become the current Three Tribes. The Pegasi had been raiding them for much longer than the Unicorns or Earth Ponies, leading to their military-society. You horn-heads got the lions-share of the crystal-fragments leading to an emphasis on wealth, which in turn led to the rich turning into nobles and, of course, royals. And the Earth Ponies had to all figure out how to best manage their new influx of land, prompting them to a semi-republic style of doing things. All because I broke all the Shinies' crystalline weapons, armors, and homes they brought for the colonies. Which lead to a shortage of supplies and unrest to form in the Empire, giving the ponies all the openings they needed to tear them apart," he lectured, scowling darkly at Bullion.

Said monarch stiffened under the sheer detail of causation that led to the current standing of things, far more than he intended to say or even grasped himself. "You've been watching us for a long time, Lord Discord," Bullion noted with great caution but steely resolve.

"I'm the King of Chaos, and you ponies cause more of it than you'd like to admit," Discord retorted swiftly. He couldn't help wondering just how the ponies of his old timeline would take that one, the fact that their three great societies formed from smaller groups to gang up like piranhas on the wounded and bloated Crystal Empire.

"Obviously," Bullion acknowledged freely as a War-King and a Battlecorn.

"So, what exactly are you accusing me of, O Great Sight of the Unicorns?" Discord all but demanded as he looked down on the mortal ruler.

"Why us?" Bullion questioned with a small glare. "Of all the races to let stay here, of all the ones to take into your care, why us?"

For a long time, Discord glowered down at him...until his scowl melted away into a surprised look. "That's it?" he asked curiously.

"What?" Bullion asked, not sure what was being asked now.

"Granted, I get it. You're worried I've been manipulating you ponies into being under my care, that the tension between the three tribes and everything are part of some grand design of mine," Discord commented dismissively before chuckling in relief as he dusted off his coat, as if shedding the seriousness of the situation with each wave of his limbs. "Apologies for getting so worked up. I thought you were accusing me of actually killing all those Crystalians. I'm fine being accused of a lot of things, but I can proudly say that murderer is not in my resume," he explained good-naturedly as he floated back off the ground.

Bullion blinked as he tried to comprehend the grinning entity before him. The accusation of manipulation and plotting on a level that spanned societies and centuries did not bother him in the slightest, but the idea of killing someone was that repugnant in the eyes of this great being of magic? "You...still haven't answered my question," Bullion pointed out slowly, genuinely not sure what to make of this yet.

"Indeed I haven't. Yet, in a way, I did," Discord mused as he reached his lion paw down to touch the Warp-Mirror, his reflection doing the same until they touched.

Bullion was genuinely a bit terrified when the feline limbs grasped each other, Mirrorcord grinning in appreciation as Discord pulled his doppelganger out from the Warp-Mirror Lake, which faded away into checkboard terrain as the second Draconequus exited the reflective surface.

"After all," Mirrorcord mused, his voice a perfect copy of Discord's. Yet it wasn't; it carried an undertone, a hint of something far less kind than the jovial chimera that the ponies had dealt with. "After all, just because I'm not going to kill anyone doesn't mean I have to save them either," he informed with humorless amusement, his smile empty of all mirth.

"And really-," Discord proper joined in, Bullion never taking his gaze off the Mirrorcord. "-if I was going to manipulate anyone into being my subjects, wouldn't I have done it to the dragons? The dogs? The entire **sarding** Crystal Empire?" he pointed out offclawedly.

"They weren't exactly desperate," Bullion pointed out warily.

"No, but it is a hole in your theory," Discord mused as Mirrorcord flicked his tail, growing a curling orange tree with cube-shaped pink fruits. "Honestly, I have nothing I can say that will prove I haven't been some grand manipulator. Not yet anyway."

"Not yet?" Bullion questioned in surprise. "You actually have a way to prove your lack of involvement?"

"Somewhat. You don't have to trust me, Bullion," Discord assured with a smile as he looked down at the royal stallion. "Just give me the benefit of the doubt and I'll make you regret ever doubting the benefits of having me as a friend."

Bullion stared for a moment before slowly relaxing, his haunches sagging as he let out a small laugh. "It...seems I owe you an apology, Lord Discord. I've been...quite rude in your home," Bullion said in exhaustion. The Battlecorn let out a snort that turned into a jovial laugh.

Discord and Mirrorcord didn't say anything, as much as he wanted to. After all, it's not every day he saw the palpable relief hit a pony after realizing they were _NOT_ about to die. He wondered what the good king was planning, really, if he thought Discord was truly some horrid puppeteer that pushed the tribes to this. A murder-suicide? Or maybe just relying on his own death and any wounds he might make on Discord to make the rest of the ponies and the Alicorns too suspicious of the immortal for any perceived manipulations to work effectively? Perhaps he was hoping for a drawn out battle that would bring Discord to war with the ponies?

"Mmmm, two Lord Discords?" a sensual voice drew their attention, causing the Kings and the disclone to look toward the base of the tree, seeing a smirking Lily Frost leaning against it. Her coat and mane were covered in a thin sheen of water, as if she had just bathed, her only clothing being the collar and broken chain-leash on her neck. She turned her mischievous eyes to the sole stallion of the group. "Hello, King Bullion. Here to see if I am performing my sacrificial _duties_?" she inquired, her playful tone deceptively serious.

"I love this mare," Mirrorcord and Discord said with wide grins, now perfectly mirrored copies from Bullion's perspective.

"Ha! I believe Lord Discord's comment speaks for itself, young Frost," Bullion said with another laugh before sending the Draconequus next to him a sly look. Said Chaos God merely whistled innocently. "I'd ask where you came from, but I imagine there are twenty or so portals around here," he quipped knowingly.

"Thirty-six, counted them myself," Lily Frost answered smugly.

"That's not the only thing we've been counting." Mirrorcord murmured as his tail wrapped around her barrel while he leaned down to blow in her ear, the mare emitting giggles at the immortal's antics.

"I shall make myself scarce then," Bullion decided in amusement, turning back to Discord. "I get the impression that you had something to do with the rain of stars three days ago, the night of the burials," he commented, getting no answer. The King smirked and began to head off. "You have our thanks, Lord Discord."

"King Bullion," Discord called, prompting the monarch to pause mid-step. With a snap of his talon, Discord summoned a door that creaked open on its own, revealing a space between two tents. "I thought I'd save you the walk back," Discord added on cheekily.

The unicorn stallion smiled and nodded, walking through the rend in space and time, the door closing behind him.

"It's the mares, isn't it? That's the "why" to us, right?" Lily joked, now held against the tree by Mirrorcord as he snorted a chuckle into her mane.

"Well, I can't say it isn't an incentive," Discord retorted in kind, raising an eyebrow at her. "You didn't seem all that alarmed by the idea of this all being a grand scheme of mine."

"That's because, unlike him, I know you're a god," Lily answered, shuddered in delight as her master's claws worked their magic. "After all, if we're that important to your plans to spend centuries manipulating us, then we must be faaaaaar too valuable to risk throwing away, which means our prospering is likely in your interest. Assuming, again, you actually cared enough to make some overly long plan like that. I doubt it, but if so, I also doubt we have much to worry about now," she mused whimsically.

Discord's eyebrow twitched. He really, really loved this mare and absolutely hated that she was lost to history in the original timeline- and that he never met her descendant, Minuette!

 **The Meeting of Magic**

Clover the Clever stood on the very edge of the reality she knew. One hoof-step beyond this was the seemingly endless realm of Discord the Draconequus…the home of a god. She could spend days or weeks searching for him and likely never find their "landlord" until he decided to show himself. It had been nearly a week since he left though, so he would be coming back soon.

However, she was not that patient, not for this. So she did the one thing she thought might work.

"DISCOOOOOOOOOOORD!" She yelled from the top of her lungs, the name echoing over the land far, far farther than it had any right to do under the laws of science.

The silence that creeped in was heavy and thick, telling Clover she was very much not alone.

 ***click*CLACK!***

The dark green maned mare blinked as she looked down, finding that the ground under her had opened like the latch of a trap door. She gulped with wide eyes as gravity suddenly took effect.

"AHHHHHHHH!" She screamed as she fell into the vast darkness...

Clover sputtered and panted as she fell on a soft surface. With adrenaline racing through her veins, she scampered back into a corner as she wildly looked around for the next scare or drop.

"Grmmmm!"

"Yes, yes, I know you said the R'nyeh line was too eldritch for most ponies," a familiar voice conceded grumpily.

After a moment of looking at him and not really seeing him, Clover finally took stock of her surroundings. She was on a nice, soft red lounging couch. That was the end of the normalcy.

She was in a large, no, enormous room. It was even greater in size due to the sheer nature of it: on every wall and the ceiling was a labyrinth of stairs that went in conflicting directions, leading to doors, walkways, and many square and empty platforms like the one she was on. In truth, the more she looked at it, the more she was unsure as the exact shape of the room. Was it six sided like a cube? More? Was it actually a sphere? She couldn't even be certain if she was on the floor, or if there was an actual one to this madness.

"A dragon could fit in here...," Clover whispered in awe.

"Several, in fact. Or an Ursa Major, but only one of those."

The voice drew her back to focus, to him…them; Right in front of her.

Discord was sitting on his throne, grinning one part smug and one part apologetic at her. Leashed to his throne was Lily Frost. Only, it wasn't Lily Frost the Mare, but Lily Frost the Enfield. Her vulpine head was lying across his lap, her front talons clutching loosely to his cloven leg, wings brushing against his draconic limb as her jaguar hind legs and wolf tail straddled and curled around his serpent tail.

Did she forget to mention the muzzle on the chimeric female?

Lily growled in wordless enjoyment as her master scratched her scalp and neck, causing her to push against his lion paw for further stimulation.

"Discord," Clover said numbly, glancing as the glinting eyed Enfield. "Lily Frost."

"Don't worry, she doesn't bite," Discord teased, one of his talon hooking onto her muzzle, forcing her head upward, giving his feline appendage complete access to her neck.

Clover blushed at the unusual but obvious displays of physical affection the two shared. "I...suppose I came at a bad time?" she asked awkwardly.

"You were the one who demanded an audience with me, right on my door step," Discord countered with a "really?" expression. "So you're in that much of hurry to speak to me, fine by me. Just don't expect us to drop everything, because cold showers aren't my thing."

"...What's a shower?" Clover asked without thinking.

Discord facepalmed before releasing Lily's muzzle as she huffed with silenced laughter, very aware of the answer to that herself. "Again, indoor plumbing is a priority," Discord muttered to himself as he lowered his hand and stared at Clover, ceasing his petting of Lilly who whined but didn't protest further. "So, what does the "O So Clever Mare" want to speak with me so urgently about?" he asked, not even trying to hide his lack of curiosity.

"...You already know, don't you?" Clover guessed with a scowl as she sat up straighter.

"I have a good guess," Discord answered, leaning his head into his talon. "Given your nature, you're not one to argue with your teacher unless you genuinely believe him wrong. Given the situation, I can guess what you want to ask about," Discord elaborated, gazing at the unicorn expectantly.

Clover stared at him for a long, long few minutes where Discord showed an unusual amount of patience. With a deep breath, she asked the question that could not be unasked: "Can you bring back the dead?"

Discord didn't react at all, completely unsurprised by her inquiry. Lily Enfield just snorted, now lying motionlessly with her head on the Chaos God's leg. "You really think I'm capable of that?" Discord counter inquired.

Clover bit her lip at being answered with a question but held her frustration. "You're a god," she pointed out. "You play with the world like it were a toy, rending reality into whatever form you see fit and have existed for eons. Even the sun, the moon, and all of the heavens are powerless to deny you. Surely...Surely one such as you could turn back such a...mortal problem like death?" Clover all but pleaded with hope and desperation.

Discord rose a single eyebrow at her, Lily giving a wary stare but not moving otherwise. "And why, in the name of Chaos, do you think I didn't just bring them back if I could?" he pointed out.

"I don't know," Clover confessed with gritted teeth. "Maybe they don't want to return from the afterlives, maybe there needs to be a ritual or something, maybe I just thought I should ask!"

Lily let out a low, warning growl at the unicorn's outburst, but Discord didn't look fazed. Actually, he merely sighed. "Is that all, Clover? The only reason you think I can bring back the dead is because I'm a god-"

"You pled ignorance," Clover interrupted suddenly, her voice determined.

"...Huh?" Discord questioned intelligently, looking genuinely confused.

"Back at the camp when you met Master Starswirl, Lady Luna asked if there was anything you can't do," Clover reminded with a glare. "You pled ignorance."

"...Clever, Clover," Discord congratulated with a small smirk.

"That implies you don't actually know the full extent of your powers. As terrifying as that is, it implies that I probably shouldn't rule anything off the table with you," Clover confessed before urging onward. "Can you do it?"

"..." Discord paused before giving Clover a small smile that made her eyes wide, his answer somehow reaching without words.

"Ignorance..." she repeated in disbelief. "You don't know, do you?"

"For the longest time, I never had a reason to find out," he admitted with a shrug. "Try not to mistake capable with ease. Technically speaking, any creature of average magical talent can perform a resurrection," Discord explained, summoning up an obsidian milkshake.

"...Any?" Clover repeated in disbelief, shaking her head. "That's impossible! If that were true, surely somepony would have figured it out by now!"

"You give your kind just a bit too much credit," Discord teased with a grin, blowing into his bendy straw, making little lava lamp bubbles float out of his concoction. "That said, I've seen others try it and there is a reason I haven't and why you shouldn't. Why none should."

Clover blinked, looking at him inquisitively. "...And why is that, Lord Discord?" she inquired respectfully.

Lily snorted as she returned to relaxing on him, causing Discord to chuckle. "Resurrection and, to be honest, any magic dealing with the dead or death has an unnaturally high rate of failure, regardless of the caster," he explained, his tone grave and foreboding.

"Because it's unnatural?" Clover guessed with a furrowed scowl.

"Hardly. Morals and ethics have naught to do with this dilemma," Discord answered with a brief smirk before scowling. "Tell me, Clover? Do you know of Necromancy?"

"The art of making creatures of the undead? Of course, every arcane practitioner knows THAT taboo," Clover answered with a scowl. "But that's not what I'm talking about, despite what Starswirl thinks. I'm asking if there is a real way to bring back the dead."

Discord nodded, "You have a point, but I understand it better than you do: Necromancy IS Resurrection magic. Failed resurrection magic, but that is still what it is," he explained to her disbelief. "Zombies and such are a particular nuisance I've helped put down in the past. Originally, Necromancy was a gamble- either you bring your intended person back from beyond the living, or if you're like the other ninety-nine percent, you create a nigh mindless creature hungering for life it can't have," Discord elaborated in a disturbingly calm voice.

"But...that doesn't make sense! Necromancy is taught to be strictly a black forbidden art of raising the undead!" Clover pointed out in frustration.

"That's because the Necromancers that started the cliché archetype refined it so that it would give them better control by snuffing out the potential resurrection aspect," Discord explained with a shrug. "A war or five later against the undead, Necromancy is forbidden, resurrection a myth and no one bothers to try further look into the issue."

"So...the answer is no, then?" Clover summarized with gritted teeth.

"Due to technical difficulties, yes," Discord allowed with a grimace, minor annoyance seeping out of his voice that prompted Lily to snuggle against him. "A plague of undeath is something, to be frank, you ponies can't deal with at the moment."

Clover bit her lip; she wanted to push this issue, even just a little. But Discord was a GOD! What possible input could she have on a subject that was, by its very nature and history, clearly beyond mortal knowledge and understanding. Still..."...Thank you, Discord," Clover said with a sigh, a small smile despite her disappointment. "I...needed to hear that from you, that there is at least some reason why we can't just bring them back, and that not just some moralities of letting the dead stay dead."

"Pshh! I'm the God of Chaos. Norm and Natural are often not fond of me. They even send me hate mail," Discord answered with a wave.

Clover nodded, about ready to leave and yet..."They really were your firsts?" Clover asked in a low voice, a mixture of confusion, awe, and pity in her voice. Discord tilted his head in response. "The guardians, Celestia and Luna. They said...they were you're first friends?" she elaborated.

She left hanging the implication that he had spent tens of thousands of years without ever having or even wanting friends.

Discord said nothing, glancing away.

 _'Is it worthy of envy or pity that this being has gone through ages without ever knowing the desire to bring back the dead?'_ Clover wondered to herself, her smile growing a tiny bit. "So...what is this place?" she asked curiously.

"The Palace of Relativity or just the Relative for short," Discord answered with a grin, patting Lily on the head, who grinned into her muzzle. "I made it just for Lily Frost here...and any other future sacrifices. Not like we're short on rooms or anything," he elaborated with a chuckle.

"Why do you even need all this space?" Clover inquired curiously.

"Half for fun, half to add more to it on a whim, but also so I have places for my secret projects," Discord answered with a mysterious chuckle. "I might even ask for your input on some of them."

"...Wouldn't you rather ask Master Starswirl?" Clover questioned hesitantly.

"I need a saner test subject to gauge how normal ponies might react," Discord elaborated deviously.

 **Author's Note:**

Sorry this took so long. I was going tot just skip to the next week but felt something was missing- something being these meetings. Bunch of other stuff happened between last update and now

I was going to have these topics come up later, but it felt better to have them come up sooner, as it didn't feel right for Bullion or Clover to put off confronting Discord. And we got more world building for...almost everyone, really. Hope you all enjoyed the history of Discord and Ponies.

Reveiws

 **The Keeper of Worlds-** You thought that was dark, try to Formation of the Tribes and the Fall of the Empire.

 **ShiningShadow1965-** He's trying, but he's having his fun too. XP

 **duskrider** \- Bingo. And now we find that he doesn't know how to ressurect the dead.

 **Drakolf** \- Lemons will be off screen, but I might make a seperate fic for those. And yes, this is a harem. And don't worry, you'll meet more characters as time goes on.

 **Xion The XIV** \- In the original timeline no, I doubt it. He "might" have seduced a mare or two, but I doubt that resulted in him being related to all of them, one or two maybe. Though, I did have another story idea like that. XP And ,yes, screw continuinity.


	10. Return to Fundony, Bit of Money Problem

Discord's Rewrite

I don't own MLP

Seven days had passed since the Miracle at Canter Pass and eight since the Pact of Strangeness, or simply the Strange Pact. With tensions cooling, all ponies unhappy with the tribes living together made the unspoken agreement to put up with one another, at least for now. Since then, mares and stallions alike had begun the long process of turning their camp into the foundation of a new town, if not a city; which, of course, required a steady supply of lumber from the nearby forests.

Out of cautious or respect for Discord's territory, the ponies decided to take the forest to the east first rather than the south. And it was here that a mixed bag of equines did their daily toil, cutting down the trees to fasten them into building material.

An earth stallion named Jack Lumber whipped his brown brow as he finished sawing one side of a tree trunk flat. A noise drew his attention away from his work, glancing over his coworkers as another tree came down. There were a good three dozen stallions mixed in with a few of the stronger mares, divided among eight different trees.

Jackbar, as his friends called him, had no trouble with the pegasi. He was no soldier and had no family grudge with the flying equines. They helped make the trees fall the right way, kept the skies clear for work and their knowledge of weapons transferred well to most tools for this job. An honest day's work would have these and another set of logs done.

It was the unicorns he couldn't help taking issue with. It wasn't hard to guess why, looking down the line towards where the horned ponies worked. Two pairs of unicorns worked on two logs, each duo doing the work of a half-dozen ponies, their horns cutting down and sculpting the wood much faster than the other groups and with much less effort. While heavy "physical" lifting wasn't a natural talent for the race of mages, their levitation and teleportation spells took care of most disadvantages.

The other groups could saw and whittle with all their hearts, but unless one of them had an outright talent for woodwork, the unicorns would always be a bit ahead of them.

It was easy to see how these proud magic users were so easy to detest, the earth pony thought with a scowl.

 ***Plop!***

Jackbar and his team jumped back from the tree trunk as it suddenly "opened" like it was a case opening long ways with the "top" lifting high into the air. The wood cutting ponies all stared as a green mane with blue strips poked out, followed by a snow coated mare.

Lily Frost looked around for a second. "Ah, close enough," she decided casually as she stepped out, her cloak doing nothing to hide the collar on her neck. With a simple kick from a hind leg, the log closed shut without a seam to be seen. Charming as ever, she smiled at the workers. "Carry on, just a mare passing through. Sorry to disturb your work," she greeted, trotting off without another care in the world.

"...Jack, was that _Her_?" another stallion asked curiously.

"Yeah, yeah I'd say so, Brun Broc. That's the Mare of Discord, Lily Frost," Jack answered with a mystified tone, never taking his wide eyes off the retreating figure, heading west towards town.

"She certainly seems happy with things," Brun noted with some level of lecherous jealousy.

"...Let's get back to work," Jack murmured.

 **Meanwhile**

"Well, you're in a much better mood."

"Oh, bite me, Lumen," Clover said, unable to keep a smile off her snout as she walked with the noble unicorn through the growing town of partially constructed frameworks for homes.

It was decided that there would be four government buildings: One for each race, all relatively near the shared fourth in the middle. It was designed as a mutual sign of unity, that they wouldn't just divide the settlement into one section for each species. It was also for trust, making it difficult for any one tribe to attempt an attack on another tribe's seat of power and impossible without alerting the third. Of course, the current priority was creating housing for all the ponies.

"I believe that is outside my range of interests," Lumen returned with a tug upwards on his lip. "But in all seriousness, Silkdial was worried when you stormed off a few days ago. You and Starswirl don't normally fight."

"Oh, I'm still mad at him," Clover informed with an eye roll.

"You still think he's wrong about that?" Lumen asked discretely, visibly concerned for her.

"Oh, he's right, Count, but for all the wrong reasons."

Both of them turned to see familiar manes of red and green coming their way. "Look what the Chimera dragged in," Silkdial remarked with a smirk as she motioned to her fellow mare.

"Lily Frost, it's good to see you again," Count Lumen addressed with a smile, raising a polite eyebrow at her collar. "I'm almost certain that is your idea."

"Guilty! But he enjoys it," Lily answered with a grin.

"I'm cautiously curious about how that all works," Silk grumbled as she glanced away.

"Oh, probably less complicated and more interesting than you're imagining," Clover remarked dryly as she smiled at the returning sacrifice. "Hello, Lily. Glad to speak with you again," she commented knowingly.

"Clover, any interesting news to deliver to your senior?" Lily asked greedily.

"You're not even a year older than me," Clover reminded flatly as she rolled her eyes. "Princess Platinum has settled down with King Bullion here to keep an eye on things and her. Chancellor Puddinghead is busy with Smart Cookie figuring out what crops to grow and where to set them up in the future-"

"How is the poor thing?" Lily interrupted in concern.

"...The good kind of burying herself in her work? She's not trying to forget or ignore what happened, I just think she's trying to move on. I think _he_ helped with that," Clover stated uncertainly

"I'm fairly sure," Lily agreed with a relieved smile before glancing at the bemused faces of Silk and Lumen. "So, has our dear Count invested in any Silk yet?" she teased.

"We did it one time!" Silk shot back instantly as Lumen sighed.

"Obviously not," Clover affirmed with a helpless shrug. "Buuuut, I know that the Commander IS busy with Pansy. A lot."

"...When you say busy...?" Lumen questioned with a scrunched brow.

"I think both meanings apply," Clover confessed with a light blush.

"Business and pleasure. I approve," Lily said cheekily.

"I still can't believe you didn't at least get a better cloak before coming back," Clover remarked, eyeing the Mare of Discord's old brown cloak.

"Clover, do I look like some prettied up royal pet?" Lily asked blankly.

"...You're saying this while wearing a collar...?" Silk questioned under her breath.

"Well, not right now while in the pony," Clover jabbed with a smirk.

Lily kept her face for a moment before bursting into snickers. Silkdial and Lumen traded confused looks, but they didn't question it.

"In any case, it looks like the town is coming along nicely," Lily remarked as they started walking again.

"It'll still be a while," Silkdial remarked cynically. "Even with everypony working together, which they're not, wattle and daub can only be made and dried so fast."

Lily hummed, pretending not to notice how more and more ponies were staring at her with varied emotions.

"That said, Smart Cookie is very happy with the progress. With any luck, the necessities for Fundony's future will be dealt with before the fall, let alone winter," Clover explained, everypony shuddering a little bit at the prospect of winter again, and all the terrible Windigo-based memories that brought up.

"Fundony?" Lily repeated as she raised an amused eyebrow.

"The name some have taken to calling it: The town marking the founding of a unified pony nation," Lumen supplied.

"You think the creatures of the world will ever stop using their species in their place-naming conventions?" Silkdial asked dryly.

"Probably not, mostly," Clover answered thoughtfully. "After all, it's an easy way to establish what settlement belongs to what race and it's not like it's hard to modify most names to fit a change in ownership. Like all the places founded by Alecater the Great: Alecatria, Alecoltria and Aleclawria," she listed off.

"Regardless, Discord will love it, I'm sure," Lily commented fondly, ignoring how several ponies stopped what they were doing; Some glaring or just staring at her and others doing the same to the groups eyeing her.

Lumen and Silkdial shifted a bit at that, an awkward silence coming over the group.

"That bad, eh?" Lily Frost questioned, unphased by the atmosphere but not smiling anymore.

"I wouldn't say bad," Clover spoke up without worry. "Come on, camp's just up here."

Lily almost laughed as she realized that the Royal Tent, shared by the leaders of all three factions, hadn't been moved. In fact, it was right in the large and guarded circle in the middle of the construction, closed off by humble and thin walls of wood. It was more marking for the space than an actual defense; A space that would be the future sight of the building for inter-tribal meetings. To her approval and no doubt Discord's, the guards stationed around were a mixture of earth ponies, unicorns, and pegasi.

Their groups stood in front of the entrance, four steely eyed guards looking them over. Two were bronze armored earth ponies, flanked by a pegasus and a unicorn in similar dark grey and silver armor respectively.

As advisor to the Unicorn Princess and three members of Asterordo, being granted entry should have been a given, more or less.

"They're expecting you. Welcome back, Lily Frost," The pegasus greeted with a small, barely there smile as his compatriots nodded. All of them glanced at Lily, or her collar, but that was beyond being a given.

"Hold!"

They all stopped in surprise as they turned and saw the approaching figure of a blue pegasus soldier, with half his face covered in scars.

Lily couldn't help smiling slyly if she wanted to as the stallion marched up towards them with an unreadable expression on his face.

"Lieutenant Rolls Arcus," Clover greeted awkwardly as he stood just outside of what could be considered personal space..

 _'The Ugly Lieutenant,'_ Lily remembered in amusement.

He didn't look at her, keeping his gaze firmly on Lily, who waited patiently as he turned to the guardponies. "I need to have a word with this one," he spoke with finality.

Lily was pleasantly surprised by the scowls he got for his effort. "That's entirely at her discretion, Lieutenant," one of the earth ponies answered evenly.

"Are you defying me, Soldier?" Arcus questioned icily, despite his tone never changing.

"Lieutenant," Lumen spoke up with a scowl, the pegasus sub-commander turning his ire on the horned stallion. "I'm very sure you're aware that the Centracustos of Fundony does not answer to you, only the Commander, the King and the Chancellor," he reminded firmly.

"This does not concern you, High Horn," Arcus retorted, glancing to the silent pegasus guard that was pretending to ignore him.

"Oh really?" Arcus visibly twitched at the condescending voice, as a dark grey pegasus stepped out of the encampment. "Cause, if it doesn't concern Asterordo, it must concern just the Mare of Discord."

"Private Gust," Arcus addressed reluctantly as the guards all briefly saluted Gust.

"Warrant Officer Gust, actually," Gust informed with a touch of smugness. "Turns out, socking you in the snout got me nominated to be in charge of organizing this mixed division to guard our leaders."

"I should have had you flayed and imprisoned," Arcus retorted, glaring death at the offending pegasus.

"And break tradition?" Gust retorted daringly as the group of unicorns watched him curiously…or, in Lily's case, approval. "Or are you actually going to say I didn't deserve that?"

Arcus's ire seemed to quell a little there. "No, Pigeon Role applied," he admitted, something close to regret passing over his eyes. "Regardless, Warrant Officer, your temporary authority here doesn't overwrite mine in desiring to question this mare, as she is outside your grounds still."

"I don't think you're actually allowed to take in anyone that isn't a pegasus though," Clover commented in a half-hearted, observant tone as she scratched her chin.

"Then it is fortunate I am not detaining her, merely questioning her nearby," Arcus remarked pointedly, almost making Clover wince…almost.

"You'd be right," Gust continued civilly. "BUT! She's expected inside, now, and she technically doesn't fall under any of our jurisdiction," he informed.

"I'm not sure I follow," Arcus admitted with a raised eyebrow.

"He's stating, Lieutenant," Lily spoke up as she trotted up beside the Warrant Officer, "That I don't belong to any of the three tribes now. I belong to Discord. Meaning that, as far as the laws are concerned, I'm essentially a visiting dignitary from the Strangelands."

Arcus stared at her, as if willing her head to be severed, before glancing back to Gust for confirmation. "That about sums it up, yeah," Gust admitted with a shrug.

The scarred pegasus stood his ground for a moment longer before turning to walk away.

"Well, that was unpleasant," Silkdial remarked with a sigh of relief.

"Good to see you've healed up, Gustzilla," Lily Frost remarked.

"Save the teasing for...whatever you call Lord Discord in private," Gust requested with a good natured eye roll before motioning the unicorns inside the walls.

"Thank you for the assistance, Um, Warrant Officer?" Lumen repeated questioningly as they were led in.

"Means I'm in charge until Hurricane says I'm not," Gust explained with a smirk. "And it's our pleasure to make Arcus's day a bit worse when possible."

"I see the table is still here," Lily commented curiously, seeing the table that every official meeting with Discord had taken place at.

"We think he made it immobile...and possible indestructible," Clover commented sheepishly before turning to Gust. "You struck the Lieutenant?"

"Pigeon Role," Gust repeated with a touch of malice. "Your commanding officer ever sends you on a suicide mission or leaves you to die for whatever reason and you make it back alive? You are allowed to hit them, just once, in the face without consequence."

"I like this tradition," Silkdial said with a surprisingly pleased look.

"Is that really okay?" Clover asked in concern as they reached the tent.

"Well, I don't know about you wingless types, but it's made even pegasi of the worst sort hesitate to just discard their subordinates," Gust answered cheekily as he held the tent open for them.

The horned quartet found themselves in a large open middle of the tent with three areas, one on either side and one in the back, where each leader was welcome to stay. In the middle was a large, circular table with a hollow center. A more blatant attempt to wordlessly show equality, Lily wasn't aware of. By the empty plates being taken away, it was used for both meals and discussions. Along the fabric walls of the tent were more guards, standing vigilantly.

"Ahh, Clover, Asterordo, good of you to make it," King Bullion greeted amicably from the chair closest to the rear of the tent, his eyes shifting to Lily. "I see Discord finally let you off your leash for a while," he commented in jest.

"You make it sound like I was given a choice, King Bullion. Poor thing practically had to push me out the door," Lily Frost retorted charmingly.

"Of that, I have no doubt," Clover muttered before turning to the guards stationed at the two side-sections. "Could you both inform the others we're here?"

"Don't bother, we heard," Starswirl said with a yawn as he exited with Princess Platinum, along with a few scrolls. "I am never going to readjust to these living hours," he remarked with a scowl as he blinked some sleep out of his eyes.

"For once, I am in agreement with you," Platinum commented as she sat by her father.

"Not our fault you slept five hours in the day and another five at night," Silkdial remarked to unicorn sorcerer.

"Haha, Silk," Starswirl murmured as he cleared his eyes and blinked, going even faced. "Clover," he greeted neutrally.

"Starswirl," Clover returned in the same tone.

"Sarded," Lily stated blankly with a raised hoof.

Platinum face-hoofed in response to that as her father chuckled, while Starswirl turned to her in surprise. "Ahh, that was you I heard Lily. Happy to see you back, I suppose, but we really didn't need to know that."

"I was referring to the master-student relationship between you and Clover," Lily corrected, getting a grunt and scowl from Starswirl. "But also yes. And I'm not the only ones," she added on, looking to Hurricane coming to the table.

"I haven't the slightest idea what you mean," Hurricane retorted bluntly.

"And Pansy isn't resting in your room?" Clover asked blankly, before covering her mouth with wide eyes as everypony stared at her.

"I taught you so well," Lily whispered with a giggle to Clover's groaning dismay

"You took your time to get here, Lily Frost," Hurricane commented to change the subject.

"You knew she was here?" Platinum questioned with a raised eyebrow.

"One of the pegasi guarding the logging teams reported her return," he answered, eyes still on Lily.

"Yes, well, new town and all that," Lily Frost commented as Puddinghead came out of her section, "Which I hear is...your aide's...doing?" Lily trailed off as she and everypony else gave the Chancellor odd looks…namely for the saddlebag on her side overflowing and overstuffed with scrolls.

"...Smart Cookie is horrid at keeping her work organized when she's planning," Puddinghead explained with a sigh, getting sounds of understanding.

"Really? She seemed pretty tidy to me, Chancellor," Clover commented curiously.

"She organizes it after she's done, just not in the process," the leader of the Earth ponies stated tiredly. "And she's the only one that can sort her messes out in a timely manner."

"Times like this, I deeply appreciate being able to live in cloud houses," Gust commented wryly.

"Warrant Officer, is there something to report or did you feel the urge to escort them here for no reason?" Hurricane asked evenly.

"Commander," Gust saluted in respect. "Your PiC wanted to have...words with Lady Lily Frost here," he explained professionally.

"...PiC?" Lily Frost asked curiously.

"Problem-in-Command."

Lily Frost jumped as the answer was said in sync by the Commander, the Princess, the King, Gust, the Chancellor, Starswirl, and a few of the guards.

"...Coming from a mare that has spent the last week in the very private company of Lord Discord, let it be known, that was disturbing," Lily Frost commented in bewilderment.

"Speaking of whom, when is he arriving?" Puddinghead asked curiously.

Lily regained her cool and smiled mysteriously. "My dear stallions and mares...what makes you think he is not already among us?" she asked ominously.

Everypony went very still and very silent at that. As if avoiding a predator, they all began to slowly study their surroundings without making a sound. The guards all glanced at one another, trying to remember if they remembered that soldier standing next to them this whole time. Starswirl took it upon himself to look inside his hat while Lumen looked inside his cloak. Puddinghead tapped her saddlebag and Platinum looked ready to jump away in panic. Hurricane just scowled as he looked over everyp-

"Commander, you forgot your helmet!"

Everypony snapped their head to the side door and saw Private Pansy standing there with the piece of armor in hoof. She seemed to shrink away nervously as the eyes all stared at her.

"...Oh please, merciful sard, no," Hurricane commented, suddenly looking green.

"That's not Lord Discord, Commander," Gust informed with a small, easy going smirk. He blinked as everyone gave him pointed looks. "I'm not him either!"

"Then how do you know that, soldier?" King Bullion asked curiously.

"He's this beam right next to me," Gust answered, tapping the wooden support structure twice.

"Hey, watch the merchandise!" Discord scolded as the beam twisted, or rather untwisted, with the sound of a kazoo and shrunk to reveal the Draconequus himself. Several guards moved to avoid his tail as he took flight, while Hurricane took a breath of relief and Platinum seemed to revel in the Commander's lost stoicism.

"What happened?" Pansy whispered to a relieved Hurricane, who attempted to wave her off while gratefully taking his helmet as she reluctantly went back to rest.

Discord eyed the grey pegasus curiously, fiddling with his beard. "How the blazing apeiron did you figure that out?"

Gust shrugged casually. "I've had to stand watch in here a few times with nothing better to do than count little things: colors, nicks in the table, rocks, how many beams there are."

"I'll have to keep an eye on you, Gustzilla," Discord remarked thoughtfully before grinning at the rest. "Hope you didn't all miss me too much!"

"I did!" Lily answered cheekily amongst the sea of blank stares and eye rolls.

"Of course you did, Lily," he acknowledged playfully, ruffling her hair and pulling a blue and green candy cane from said mane. "So, how goes the town founding?" he inquired knowingly.

"You already know everything, don't you?" Platinum questioned in annoyance.

"No, but I can guess a lot of it, but guesswork doesn't build nations," Discord remarked sagely before looking thoughtful as he peeled off the blue strand of the candy cane and began to slurp it off like it was noddle, "Well, it can, just not a good lasting one."

"Right...," Puddinghead acknowledged with a sigh, wondering if the treat was tasty or not. "Well, the first houses will be done within a week from today. If everything goes according to plan, everypony should have a roof over their heads in three months."

 _'Considering Pegasi can make cloud houses very easily, they're probably only making houses for the earth ponies and unicorns,'_ Discord mentally deduced, keeping most of the boredom off his face.

"They won't be great roofs, but they'll get through winter," Hurricane noted, apparently choosing to ignore the blue noodle's existence even as Discord finished slurping it up. "Our food supply, plus what we can gather on the land so far, should last until crops are properly established."

"Ponies, nearly half of my chaos is edible," Discord admitted with a deadpan, dropping the now only green treat back on and into Lily Frost's mane. "If hungry bellies become an issue, collect snacks from my lands."

"...No offence, but is it all entirely...healthy?" Puddinghead inquired cautiously.

"I'd say hearty, but yes, it's safe to consume as Lily will attest to," Discord informed, patting his tail on the withers of Lily, who nodded in answer while showing off her barrel for good show.

"Duly noted, Lord Discord. Luckily, a majority of our own is winter crops we've been using to survive the Windigos," Puddinghead mused tiredly.

"Which means onions, carrots, potatoes, spinach and similar crops," Lumen remarked with a groan from Platinum, Gust and Silkdial.

"Three weeks of nothing but carrots can't be good for you, I just know it," Silk muttered, rubbing her eyes.

 _'I know an ironically named hare that would beg to differ in about a dozen centuries,'_ Discord thought with a roll of his brain. Even if only he knew that happened, he still enjoyed it.

"Let's just say that our having an independent food supply is an achievable goal, with hopes for diversification and we have a fall back if needed," Bullion remarked diplomatically. "Unfortunately, we have a long term issue that isn't political, per say."

"I was wondering when we'd get to these," Discord mused as he hovered about, relatively eye level with the seated ponies. "What is it, holidays, monster issues? I think I would have sensed a disease outbreak."

"No, those aren't problems yet," Hurricane stated with a sigh. "The issue is currency or lack thereof."

"Oh..." Discord paused and realized what they meant. _'Oh, right. Earth ponies just barter everything, Unicorn trade gems by rough estimated value and pegasi don't even have a bucking economy. They build stuff out of clouds for Magic's sake and have a few specialists to deal with metal in their armor and weapons. Earth ponies give food to both tribes, while pegasi worked as protection and weather control, and unicorn used their magic to keep the days going and deal with miscellaneous issues their magic made easy. A conceptually sound but really shaky trade agreement that would have never lasted long term,'_ Discord thought to himself as he absently summoned his throne at the spot nearest the entrance, taking his seat with Lily dutifully moving to stand at his left.

All the leaders raised their heads and eyebrows at this, except Platinum who scowled ever so slightly. Silk and Lumen blinked at the change in mood, while Clover and Starswirl just looked on, curious of the God's intention.

 _'Celestia didn't get the whole Gold Bit thing in full swing until after Nightmare Moon, thanks to building the money hole known as Canterlot. Before that they bartered, and traded in gemstones. Buck, their own horseshoes sometimes! But, again, my mismatched prints are on that one. After my Reign of Chaos, ponykind's priorities were rewritten, at least for a while. Stability and cooperation took over in a desperate need to return things to normalcy. I wiped even the money-slate clean. In fairness, I was insulted by them trying to bribe me at the time,'_ Discord mused to himself, appearing deep in thought as a wry smile came on his face. _'Of course...the Gold Bit wasn't Celestia's idea. Not originally.'_

"Clover, you're a clever mare invested into the preservation of this fine union and seem to be enjoying the taste of your own lip," Discord commented, glancing out of the corner of his eyes at the mare in question, who suddenly ceased biting her lip as all attention was brought to her. "Would you like to take the stage?" he offered, teleporting her into the center of the table.

"Me?" Clover asked in surprise as everypony looked curious at this change in speaker.

Except Starswirl, who shrugged, "I'm still your Master in magic, but I will freely admit that politicking and nation building aren't in my hat of tricks," he admitted freely. Arguments or not, he wasn't going to deny he had a student brilliant in more than one subject.

"If you have a suggestion, Lady Clover, you have our ears," Puddinghead encouraged, having heard fond things of this mare from Smart Cookie.

Clover squirmed a bit under Hurricane's expectant stare, but ultimately took a breath to calm herself. "As you all know, gems can be a bit cumbersome to deal with due to being heavy and in massively variates in size and shapes. A failed reform of Queen Gultha was to instill a gold-based money system to supplement our gem-central economy."

"Yes, yes, and it was shut down by her wiser brother, King Aurum," Platinum reminded with a scowl.

 _'Hehe, Celly and Lulu's precedent for a diarchy. Granted, those two co-ruled because the older one was infertile. Which was that again? I think I was dealing with the dragons around then,'_ Discord wondered in his head.

"Princess, you are well aware that it is a common misconception that King Aurum ended his co-ruler's policies because he disagreed with them," Clover reminded with a polite but stern tone.

"True enough, Clover," King Bullion interjected curiously. "But my ancestors did cease the project due to not having enough gold in the mines to properly keep up with the value of gems," he pointed out.

"Which brings us back to the issue of an inevitable Unicorn Plutocracy," Hurricane pointed out with a deep breath, almost like a sigh without losing his composer.

Platinum raised an eyebrow. "I am honestly impressed you have knowledge of that word, Commander, given your lack of economy," she praised honestly.

"I'm honestly surprised that word exists already," Discord commented in idle interest. "History and vocabulary aside, you were saying, Clover?"

"Thank you, Lord Discord," Clover nodded to him in appreciation. "This is true, the current value of gems versus gold leaves much to be desired. Which means either getting a lot more gold or..." Clover paused for dramatic effect. "A cheapening of gems."

"Bahaha!"

The sharp laugh came not from the unicorn princess but from the pegasus Commander, who smirked with a snort as all eyes rested on him. "Pardon my outburst, but I refuse to believe that you unicorns would ever willingly devalue your precious stones," Hurricane commented knowingly.

"I'm afraid I must agree. No offense, King Bullion, but your ponies are strangely attached to them," Puddinghead commented warily.

"None taken. More to point, I could never justify such an edict. The nobles would be in open rebellion for robbing them of their wealth in a roundabout way," Bullion replied knowingly.

"Forgive me, My King, but I never said anything about you lowering the value of gems," Clover informed with a knowing tone.

Everyone went still at that, in utter confusion mostly. "I hope you're not implying that...another power is seeking to hold such a ruling over our heads?" Platinum asked pointedly while intentionally not looking towards their landlord.

Discord scowled. So did Lily. He probably should attach her leash to his throne from now on, just in case.

"No, Princess, nothing like that. What I believe will lessen the value of gems is the same thing that made them so precious in the first place: The Law of Scarcity," Clover informed sagely. "Master, could you please cast the Miner's Sight spell?"

"What are you playing at?" Starswirl wondered suspiciously. Getting no answer, he shrugged while his horn lit up. Pointing it at the ground, a golden and circular outline formed on the floor, just big enough for a pair of fillies to stand on. "Now, let's see wh- HOLY MAGICAL STAFF SARDING WINDEGOS IN A VOLCANO HAT!" he exclaimed, causing several ponies to lean back in surprise. He looked up, right at Discord. "Did You Do This?!"

"It's been like that for over a century now," Discord answered with an eye roll, absently writing that down mentally. _'Volcano Hat, eh? I can work with that.'_

"Starswirl, whatever are you babbling about now?" Platinum asked in exasperation.

Starswirl looked between her, his viewing portal and Discord several times before his eye twitched. "Sard it all!" he exclaimed shooting another beam of magic at the circle, expanding it across the whole floor.

"Beards, I will stab you if we start to fall through!" Gust warned as it spread under his hooves, encompassing most of the ground within the main part of the tent.

Bullion, Platinum, Lumen and Starswirl continued to stare with slack jaws at the floor, while everypony else looked confused. Minus an amused Lily Frost, bored Discord and a proud Clover.

The light brown of the earth swirled into a darker, almost mud like color. And dotting said brown was dozens upon dozens of glowing orbs…all different sizes, many different colors and several overlapping each other. It was like a beautiful light show.

"For those of us not in the know, what is this?" Silkdial inquired, annoyed at being the only unicorn not grasping what was going on.

"It's a spell that lets you see the gems below the surface," Lily Frost informed with a grin.

"Oh...wait, what?" Silkdial did a double take as she looked down again.

"There's a fortune underneath the tent?" Gust summarized in surprise.

"If this vein density is sizable beyond this point, it might double our coffers. Or, perhaps, make the other two tribes as rich as ours," Platinum noted with a greedy yet mesmerized grin, before scowling in confusion at Clover. "But this would hardly be enough to reduce the value of gems."

"After a bit of field research with the help of my friends..." Clover trailed off sheepishly. "I've determined that the region granted to us by Lord Discord is rich throughout with a similar density of gems. Taking that into account and acknowledging potential empty areas, the supply of gems has been increased by a factor of ten, bare minimum."

Dead silence stretched over the tent. One of the guards dropped his spear in shock. Hurricane looked like he was questioning reality. Puddinghead was just staring at the ground, trying to comprehend how there could be enough riches here to make riches worth less.

Discord breathed deep in the disbelief filling the room.

"...Are you trying to imply that my precious gemstones are now...worthless?" Platinum inquired, somewhere between despair and rage.

"Well, they might be if we take the rest of Discord's land into the equation," Clover confessed thoughtfully. "Right now? I believe they'll go from being twenty-some times the value of gold to...five times gold?"

"...But that's only after ponies start digging them up," Hurricane noted with something akin to understanding.

"Yes, well, as amusing as watching rich nobles froth at the idea that their fortunes are worthless would be, it'll take a while for ponies to dig up enough of them for the gem value to fall," Discord acknowledged casually.

"Okay, um...tha-that's a lot to take in," Silkdial commented numbly, trying to process they might be too rich now. "LOT of gems."

"Well, look at it this way," Lily Frost commented with a smirk, grabbing everyone attention. "Gems might be cheap for us, but to every other pony and civil creature in the world..."

Platinum, Hurricane, and Puddinghead perked up as they realized that, just because the value of gem among Fundony went down, didn't meant it would go down elsewhere; Making them a potential minor powerhouse on pure economy in the near future.

Discord smirked as he watched the three leaders all thinking in similar manners. He didn't have an enemy to focus all of these ponies' issues at, buuuut reminding them of their potential power on the world stage was a good second place motivator for singular matters…like getting them to agree on a plan for their budding nation's currency.

One less boring problem he'd have to deal with, for now at least.

Speaking of which. "Now that we've solved our daily puzzle, tell me, leaders of Fundony: What's the public opinion on me?" Discord asked with an expectant grin.

Good or bad, this would be interesting.

 **Author's Note:**

Oi, sorry this all took so long. There was a bit of writing block, a good deal of research on my end for the houses and stuff, other obsessions, and a lot of RL issues. I've been sick, had family matters to deal with, and bed bugs can burn in hell.

But yeah, Discord is back and doing his thing with Lily Frost- the influencing the ponies thing, not the OTHER thing. Gust is back, Silk and Lumen showed up, and the ponies seemed to be a bit split on Discord. We'll figure out how bad next time. No Celestia or Luna though...that's a first, I think, since the Miracle at Canter Pass.

The town got a name: Fundony! So many jokes, so little time.

And I build more on the Three Tribes, and based their economy on the trade system they had with each other. This also further explains why them joining was so hard in the first place. They are just three different subspecies, but radically different cultures.

Hope you all enjoyed this. Hope to have more soon.

PS About the Gems, this is kind of canon, to one of the books at least. It was mentioned that Platinum lamented the fact that her crown became worthless due to all the gems in Equestria. Since Discord only gave them that one area, which I'll have to put into scope eventually, I figured they'd be more devalued than worthless for now.


End file.
